Why do you think you gamble?

Good morning(@gadaveuk)

I wanted to congratulate you, on writing such a detailed and eloquent post, with such clarity and meaning . It is a very honest, reflective entry - thank you for sharing your challenges, which will relate to so many others.

Trauma, or extreme difficulties experienced at such a young, age - can have catastrophic repercussions later on in life, causing one to turn to unhealthy behaviours; sadly this is all too common - looking and searching for a coping mechanism, to escape our inner vulnerabilities is a coping mechanism.

I am so pleased, that your recovery is a positive one, I am hearing that there is a strong commitment which involves discipline; recovery is exactly that!

Your recovery principles, with Peers across the pond is remarkable.

The fruits of your labour has catapulted you, into some enlightening experiences, and you should feel immensely empowered.

How positive that you can support others, facing gambling harm dilemma's in such a meaningful way.

Thank you for posting.

Forum Admin.

Hi

The reason that I gambled was a very deep painful issues not healed or resolved in my life.

The word recovery for me means healing the pains and hurt inner child in me.

Only once I took the recovery program seriously and decided that I was a very unhealthy self destructive person.

The pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.

In time I got to understand what was my emotional triggers that caused me to hide in fears and in unhealthy habits.

Often when people asked me how I was I told them not so bad or ok.

The reason people asked me how I was was because they felt that I was not my self.

In time I got to understand what was my other emotional triggers my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

My other emotional triggers were loneliness and boredom.

By investing time and effort in to my recovery and with honest therpies I got to reduce my fears and my trust grew in me.

By investing time and effort in to my recovery I got to understand that I was emotionally vulnerable.

I was not a bad person, I was not evil, I was just was emotionally vulnerable.

As we all heal and peal back the onion the hurt inner child comes out of us.

My recovery and healing was a long process.

By working with liked minded people and giving therapies I found out that being emotionally vulnerable I was living in so much fear it disabled me from having healthy intimate relationships with my self and with other.

Each of my lies were due to my fears and pains.

I am a non religious person and embrace spirtual values in to my life.

Being in the recovery program has proved to be a very powerful expereince.

When I walked in to the recovery program I was a very inadequate insecure inept person.

I did not know that the pains and traumas in my life disabled my ability to learn and understand healthy educations.

I have met with many people in the recovery program London, New York, Canada, America and some times the recovery and sharing our enlightenments just even for one day that connection is very poerful and very strong. 

Being in the recovery program and understanding how long I was emotionally vulnerable, that if we are willing to invest and share we find we have so much more portenital in us.

We start to understand and fulfill writing out our needs and become more productive.

We start to understand and fulfill writing out our wants and become more fulfilled and rewarded for our efforts and our time.

Then as we become more productive we seak greater more challenging goals.

Healing Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

Dave of Beckeham.

Hi

The gambling was a form of escape and also an adrenaline rush.

How could I think it waas the most important thing in my life.

The truth was I worked hard for my money and then gave it away with out being aware of how cruel I was being to my self and my family.

No matter how much money I thought I was going to get from gambling it would not heal the pains in me.

After being in recovery I would understand that gambling was a form of self abuse and self destruction.

Once I was abale to abstain only then would recovery make a change in my life.

For me the word recovery means healing.

In time I would heal the hurt inner child in me.

In time I got to understand that recovery was not about who is right or worng but more abaout making much healthier choices with my life.

Being in the recovery program I would hear some very powerful therapies which over time would empower me.

Just for today I do not want or need to gamble.

Dave L

I think that gambling for me is sort of thing that brings me joy. It is not a case that i need money really, i don't care about them. I just like the process of gambling. Don't know why really

Hi

I found that I use to question why did I keep giving my hard earned money away.

Once I walked in to the recovery program I got to understand that my gambling was a form of emotional escape.

My gambling was a form of adrenaline rush, and I use to think I could get some thing for nothing.

Like many people in to the recovery program I was abale to abstain from my unhealthyh abit of gambling.

I found that my emotional triggers were my pains I had not healed, my emotional triggers were my unhealthy fears that I could not face or reduce, my emotional triggers were my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

My emotional triggers were my feelings of boredom and my feelings of loneliness.

I found that I could only heal my pains once I was stop causing my self due to my addictions and obsessions.

I like many people did not stop gambling right away.

Each time I went back to gambling I got to understand why I did so.

I handed over all of my finances to my wife and in time I could trust my self with money.

Some people might think that it is easy to abstain from my gambling, for me not so it was hard.

In time I got to understand that I had lots of fears and in time those fears would be reduced.

Spending time and effort in to my recovery was very wroth while.

Gambling for me it a complete waste of time.

Gambling for me it was a form of self abuse and self inflicted pains.

Love healing and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Hi

My feelings of isolation and being the loner was due to my pains fears and frsutrations.

For me my addictions and obsessions idictaed that I was emotionally vulnerable.

The recovery program would help me open up and heal my pains.

Dave L

@forum-admin Thank you for your comments. We all want a much healthier life living with out our fears. Dave L

@1rpb0wzlhm 

Hi

Some might think that they love gambling, is it possible that we think that being on adrenaline is healthy, the bigger the risk the bigger the buzz, could it be that you are an adrenaline J****E in taking risks in so many things, an adrenaline J****E has high levels of fears and anxiety, an adrenaline J****E often lying so at to avoid the truth. Can we possible think that causing our self neglect and self abuse and pain is happiness.  

THank you for sharing your story.

Dave L

Hi.

My main reason for gambling was purely to try to earn more money.  How ironic when over 15 years, I have managed to amass over 30k of debt!!

”ENOUGH IS NOW ENOUGH” 💪

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

Gambling started after personal grief. losing my child sent me into a spiral of not just caring about anything or anyone. I couldn't find any happiness and felt I didn't deserve it either. Whilst off work I found a bookies and tried the slots and the rest is history. I realised it was the only time I could 'clear' my mind, in a trance like state just spinning and spinning. This then led to using apps and trying sports bets. I have an addictive personality which I feel does contribute to my need to recklessly keep going even when I know deep down I've gone too far. Suffered with substance abuse which I have nearly over come but I've replaced it with heavier gambling... I'm hoping I'm strong enough to believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

I wish everyone a healthy recovery