Carnage.

Hey Didchase. I am in the same position as you and I think the we both need to stop now. I have just gambled away £30k of my life savings away my last bet was on saturday which i lost 6k. I had planned on marrying my girlfriend next year and moving out of the family house. Now that cannot happen as I even owe the bank 3k on top of my loss. I cannot see how I will get this money back. I have worked a whole year with nothing to show for it. I am in such a rock bottom place that I have not left my bed since saturday from my last bet. I hope we can come out of this.

lets update with regular details on how life is going. I want to say a year from now that I have not gambled and my life is on it's way to being on track. but for now I will take it one day at a time.

last bet 30/09/17

Hi Didchase,

Have you gome to GA meetings? Being a compulsive gambler is a life long struggle, there is no cure and our worst enemy is complacancy. I am only in GA a few months but have learned so much in that time which has helped me so much with my recovery. Realistically you need to let your partner know the story as first things first you need to take control finances out of your hands. The fight is not easy but its the only real way forward, we are in a battle against ourselves so taking money out of the equation as much as possible is a huge help.

My partner has access to a joint account where my wages go into for example so she can see every penny i spend, (if i do have to get cash i can get reciepts) adn she also can view my credit report so she can see any loans or credit cards i have. This may sound extreme but it protects me from myself as I still get gambling urges and if I did have access to money I know there is a good chance I would go back gambling. Like we say its literally one day at a time.

I wish you well in your battle with this addiction.

Hi geo, that's rough. What have you lost the money on? The only positive if any for you is that 3k is not a huge amount of debt not that I know your current employment situation, outgoings etc. Losing that much so fast is a tough one to swallow, how do you plan on not going into further financial difficulty and not being tempted to chase the loss once your current feelings have passed abit? I really felt like staying in bed this morning, by the time I'm finished today I will have worked a 16 hour + day, not easy I'm putting on a brave face through the day. Have you got yourself up and tried to make some steps towards recovery? We have to learn the money is gone, can only now be earned back through hard work and determination, not sitting around dwelling or trying to win it back thus losing more. I wish you all the best I will keep in touch.

Hi joe, no GA meetings are not something I have looked into, maybe it's something I should do, I hear a lot of positive things about them, my only difficulty is I work away a lot through the week, so would be near on impossible to comit to be in one place at a specific time every week. Your arrangement with your partner doesn't seem extreme more sensible and it's good that you've taken the step to fully try and beat it, I feel like I'm making excuses for myself but it's a case of fight it by myself with the right tools and mInd set, or lose my partner and everything anyway, because I know she wouldn't stick around again, and it would end up costing me more money than the losses in sorting out the house etc. As well as all the devastation it would cause. So for now at least I need to just channel my thoughts and time to other things, work hard and keep up to payments and watch the debt reduce. Thanks for your words and advice and good luck

Hi didchase you can go to a meeting anywhere. If you really want to stop and change your life you should think about it.

Didchase,

I am currently in a well paid job but thats because I work nights only. I plan to stop by the end of this year after I have found a decent paying daytime job. At the moment my outgoings are my car my insurance and small amount of rent i pay to my mother as I live in the family home like i said. So i am able to make a decent savings of 800 a month.

I gamble on FOBT mainly roulette. It has spiralled out of control over last month after staying 11 months GF free. The sad thing is my mother thinks I am preparing to marry my girfriend by the end of this year and I absolutely do not know what to tell her because she thought I had completely given up gambling. It will kill her. My girlfriend has threatened to tell her if i do not seek proper help so I have given all my cards back to her, I have signed up for counselling and will be attending my first GA meeting this Thursday.

I have ate some fruits and I have walked outside a bit for some normality. Hopefully by my next pay day which is in 20 days away. (seems like an eternity now) I would be in a much better place and I hope you will too.

For now I have been asked to take it one day at a time.

Hi Didchase, I just keep telling myself that even though financial recovery seems like a million miles away, that day will come eventually.

I know the exact feeling Geo, where you're counting down the minutes to payday in order to feel like you've made some progress and recovered back some of the losses. I'm trying to take it a day at a time, and trying to enjoy each for it is, but it is very hard

Well geo being able to try and save back £800 a month is a good incentive, at least at the minute you aren't tied down with a mortgage and bills etc, and 11 months is a great achievement. In 11 months time you will be debt free and could be well on your way to having Enough to get married. We have to set things right the hard way now. I've just got in bed after being working just under 16 hours it's been a tough mentally draining day but it's a day ticked off the list and a small step closer to payday like you said. I hope your shift has gone ok.

Thanks for the reply merry, where do you find where your nearest meeting is? It's something im wanting to look into.

Yes never I agree the times will get easier and the losses a distant memory, I'm determined to work as hard as I can to put things right, hopefully I can look back next year at this dark patch and be in a much better, happier place both physically and mentally.

Thank you Didchase.

I am currently at work on my break. This shift is going so slow and all that's plaguing my mind is the loss. I nearly took a 5K loan from Amigo Loans yesterday before work. I'm glad I didn't as I would've gone to gamble that away too. Day 3 GF. I want to take it one day at a time.

Keep strong buddy we will get through this surely.

Hi didchase go to GA website put in your location or postcode.

Thanks Merry I’m going to have a look.

hope you’ve got on ok today geo, another day down hope it was productive for you and your feeling abit better and more positive about the future. I’ve been really busy so no urges, trying to focus on the future and getting the debts down as quick as possible. Have a good shift tonight if your working.

Thanks buddy,

I am much better than yesteday because i have not gambled. I am off to my shift now. It's good that you keeping busy. hopefully by the end of the week ill be keeping more busy too. spent less time in bed today so I suppose that's a good thing.

It's possible to beat this habbit so lets keep going Didchase. Will update on my break at work. enjoy the night stay GF.

one day at a time.

Glad your pushing through geo, here’s to another day, another day without putting money down the drain and reeling in anguish. I’m going back to the gym tonight, first time in a month or so, looking forward to putting some work in there, unsurprisingly I have quite an addictive personality so hoping I can channel a lot of time into that and keep away from gambling. Have a good day.

Thank you Didchase,

Happy to see you also making changes too. TBH I should also probably go back to the gym. I will do that in about 2 weeks time when I feel I have regained some normality. Enjoy the day buddy