TheThNHi
This is my new beginning. I don't think I good be any lower if I tried. I have been addicted to fruit machines for a while now. So to be able to access them on my phone felt amazing.
Not making excuses but 5 years ago I got struck down with an illness that stole my life and made me practically housebound. I have been on long term sickness from work since then. A job I loved as a business development manager. I was very sociable and respected then I got ill. The medication I was put on changed me physically and emotionally. Gambling became an escape. Everyone would go to work and I'd log on. At night my family would sleep and I would log on. I have lost thousands. Then I came clean and told my partner who was far more supportive then I would have been if the shoe was on the other foot I'm sure. He got a loan out to transfer as much of the debt as possible from the credit cards. What was left on the credit cards was interest free and we would get our heads down pull in our belts and hopefully August 2018 we would be debt free.
Then my illness got bad again and they increased my medication I could fight of one chest infection after another I felt low and logged on!! I have now maxed out the credit cards again and can't tell my partner He is amazing and so proud that we will be debt free next year and at last be able to plan holidays. So I have turned to one of my daughters and she is going to get me a loan which I will pay her back for This is my new beginnings I have disgusted myself and now enough is enough.
Thank you for reading I know I have a long way to go and spending so much time alone is going to be difficult but I'm determined to get through this and hopefully one day be well enough to get back to work.
Hi Sherry,
Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting. I hope you find a lot of support on here and recognize that you're not alone with this problem. It sounds like you've had a rough go of things for the last few years, and it's not uncommon for people to find an escape with gambling when they're in situations like yours. You've seen how it's not a healthy way to manage things over time, though, and it sounds like you're trying to change things for good this time.
What about getting some counselling? That's something that really helps a lot of people, and you could learn healthier methods of coping and taking care of yourself that way, and how to manage any urges that come up. If getting out is a problem, we've got an online counselling service that might be able to help you.
Can you set any more boundaries with access to gambling? Have you tried putting any blocking software on your phone or computer that would prevent gambling sites from opening? If that doesn't work, you might have to consider whether having a smartphone is a good idea for you, or if you could get by with just a basic phone, like a lot of gamblers do. If you don't have access to gambling right there in the palm of your hand, you won't be able to do as much damage.
Just some things to think about. If you'd like to chat with us about any of this, feel free to get in touch using the links at the top of the page, we'd be happy to speak to you.
Hang in there,
Travis
Thank you Travis for your response.
I think the counselling would be very useful and will follow that up. This addiction will destroy me and everything I love so I have to get control.
It's such a relief to know I'm not alone. I thought I was going crazy. I couldn't understand how this could have hit such a hold. Then I read through other people's messages and I see its claws in so many people.
Thank you again for your response and I will definetly get the blocking software.
I self excluded myself from one the sites I have been playing and they send you an email link to confirm and start the self exclusion. They also sent me an email offering to put £200 bonus in my account if I changed my mind and decided to stay!!! I realised then how naughty that was of them and self excluded anyway The temptation was there but I'm so scared I will lose even more if I don't get a grip and I don't mean just money.
Hello,
I feel your pain , stay strong.
Hi Sherry1965.
Welcome to the forum.
I hope you will use the forum and learn about the sheer power of the addiction. It will rear its head given half a chance and your counselling must go hand in hand with solid blocks and monitoring of your gadgets.
Its so serious and you have allowed these gambling dens into your home. Proper software blocking is a must. You must take the fight on in a moment of strength and self exclude from everywhere you can think of. Blocking on your gadgets is essential but the elephant in the room is if you partner doesnt know you may have left an opening if you cant block your computers.
Im afraid that willpower alone is never enough........ nor unfortunately is just saying enough is enough.
You have started on the right path but you must focus on getting loan bailouts can be a trigger if you are not fully working with people to show them what you are doing. Your daughter will need to monitor the gadgets and help you. Does your daughter realise the power of an addiction?.
Gambling thrives on secrets and you have a giant one from your partner. Im just asking you to think about this as I may see worrying signs that you may be working from one bailout to another. The gambling mind sees a loan as a phew moment to possibly start again. There is no room for half measures and secrets can lead to half measures
Gambling addiction does arise from stress,depression and feeling low as you have mentioned
Are you fully ready for everything that is needed? Please ring gamcare again as many times as you like.
Im giving you food for thought and you will get all the best advice on this forum
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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