So first time posting.Â
Im 32 y.o. male.
I gambeld for about 6 months, usualy 20 euros per sesion, mostly playing demos. Online when i was alone and feeling lonly. And one night i lost control and after losing 20 i put another 20. Lost it too. I panicked and said I wont gamble anymore.
2 days later i found out promo site for gambling, pay 20 get 20 bonus. So i did it dont know why.Â
The same night an intrusive thaught came into my mind "YOU ARE ADDICTED", scared a sh** out of me.Â
Pulled out the money I had. Blocked all the sites.Â
In 6 month i lost about 300 euros in total. Thats like 15% of my monthly sallary.
That was year and a half ago.Â
I was not feeling any urges just fear of ruining my life (my brother is compulsive gambler and he ruind his).
Year and a half of hell being affraid like hell every day thinking about it (not gambling but relapse and ruining my life). It cames in phases. 1 month of stressing and thinking only about that. Then some time passes by when i think about it everyday but not stresing and not all the time.Â
In december i took some anksioloitic medicine for 20 days. From januar to april i didnt had any obssesive thinking about it just dayli reminder "what if I start again -mildy fear"
In april i had stressful situation and till now i am thinking about it all day long, I even had 2 urges in last few days? Dont know if I can count it as urges or just a memmory how god i felt when i won.Â
All this time I have money on my accounts, never gambeld.
Visited pshychologyst - she said you are not addicted - addicts gamble.Â
Visited pshychiatrist few days ago- he said you are not addicted - you do not gamble, its Anxiety and depression disorder. Depression is pulling thouse thaughts on you. Prescribed me some antidepressants. I started drinking them but it taheks 2 weeks for them to work.Â
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I am so confused. I hate gambling and everything that has happend to me in my mind, how can I get a good memory from that? Am I addicted and this is post addiction period? Is it posible that its a result of depression? If so will the ZOLOFT (AD) help. Can you get this hooked in 6 months?
Sorry for my bad english.
Hello @Silver,
Welcome to the GamCare forum. I'm glad you have joined and I hope you find the support and encouragement from other members to be helpful. We also have group chats every day at 1pm and 8pm in our online group chatroom that you are very welcome to join.
Thank you for sharing your story; it sounds as though it's been a hard time for you experiencing these thoughts of gambling but it is positive that you put blocks in place on the gambling websites and that you have stayed gamble free.
If you live in Great Britain or have an address in Great Britain something that we can offer is free, structured support, with a practitioner who specialises in helping people to recover from problem gambling, and you are very welcome to contact us on 0808 8020 133 or on Netline at any time (we are here 24 hours) to speak with an advisor who can arrange a referral. If you call us you can also request interpreter services if you require these.
However you mention gambling in Euros which suggests that you are based outside of Great Britain - if this is the case I would encourage you to contact https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/; as they offer similar services globally (If you are from Northern Ireland you can contact http://dunlewey.org/ and our GameChange course is available to anyone in the UK). You can also find group recovery meetings at https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/online-support-groups-for-problem-gamblers-their-friends-and-family/ and https://gamblersinrecovery.com/. Â
It can help to think of ways to distract yourself when experiencing gambling urges - GameQuitters have a hobby tool which might help give you some ideas: https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/. Â
Please keep posting; we are here to support you.
Best wishes,
Sophie
Forum AdminÂ
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