It has been 3 long years of gambling and I am now finally determined more than ever to focus on getting better and finally give up financial control.
You will see from my posts how it all started with slots… graduated to roulette and finally back to slots again. I feel like I am too far gone and there is no hope by im going to try and find it in me to finally have the strength to say goodbye to gambling and quit for good. I have been here reading everyday, believe me I read every single post! Last year December I won a jackpot life changing amount lost it all again by January. I never really quit just playing small again every payday, then 2 miracles happened - I won the jackpot twice! I could have really stopped here and then but we all know we cannot win coz we cannot stop… The problem is I’m down such a big amount in my lifetime that the 2 jackpots win was only half what I was down, deep down inside me I knew that I was never going to walk away until I got even and got it all back so slowly I frittered away every last penny again. The problem is I am just far too addicted. I hate myself for it. I play everyday and win x amount everyday and walk away. This can go on for weeks and month no loss then the day comes and then it takes it all and more just like that. So I am finally putting an end it to it all, no amount is ever going to be enough and winning back what I have lost will now be an impossible task. I can only wish I can turn back the clock and go back 3 years ago when I lost my first £3k, posted here and got some really good advice and just listened to it,now I am down 25x that amount it really is never coming back. Time to accept it is what it is. Payday is Friday, I’m not running Christmas. I will be transferring all my money to my other half and try to see how my journey goes from here. It is hard, I am really lost, I miss my old self and I’m not sure what the future brings but it can finally say I am sick of it all… I’m ready to give up gambling for good .
Thank you for sharing your experiences here in the Forum
I am glad that reading other peoples recovery journey here daily has been a motivator for you. You now sound absolutely determined to address your gambling issue. Feeling "sick" of the cycle can be turned to your advantage and deter you from wanting to gamble again. If you have not already please do consider some tailored support with 1-2-1 sessions or the GameChange online course. You can find more information about these through this website or by calling the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133.
Best Wishes for your future,
I hope you are OK mate.
I have been a compulsive gambler for 20 years myself and lost a lot too.
I remember reading your previous posts - about your struggles accepting losses. I know it's hard, but, what I will say is, my friend, please just concentrate on what you have, NOT what you don't have. Concentrate on your family, your health, concentrate on the NOW. Is it a cliché? Well, I had seen a close friend slowly fading away before my eyes from cancer, and they never once talked about money. We don't appreciate enough what we have, before they start shaking. Also, please stop all this negative talk about yourself; you are who you are with everything you have experienced, this is called being a human.
When you buy a regular cappuccino, don't compare the price of it with what you had lost, just appreciate the fact that you can afford it and enjoy the taste of it, nothing less nothing more.
You also need to discover something that makes you happy and confident, something you can regularly do. I, for example, have rediscovered my love of reading since I have stopped.
These are the actions I try and practice myself, day in day out.
I wish you all the best my friend.
Handing over finances was a big help in my recovery.
Good for you.
I know its not easy to quit but admitting that you needed the break is already a step to your goal. Seeking help with financial control has helped me in the past and now I learned to value my money for its worth. I hope you do great on your journey!
Wishing you goodluck xx
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