new here looking for help

Hi mate.

Luckily it's your parents money in the sense it's not an employers if you work in a shop or anything.

You can repay them and I'd do this by literally paying as much as you get paid so you only keep essential money for Food etc.

You say you want to stop now before crippling debts occur. Well that's good. I'm young and in 20-30k debt from gambling. Don't let it happen to you, it can, and it will, quickly. No messing around its not good unable to sleep, unable to do things, constantly palming one debt to another. Please take your own advice and use that as the biggest eye opener and stop now. Before you hurt someone or yourself.

Matt

Hi C - parent of a young gambler like you speaking. I am not here to tell you off or judge you but to offer you some advice and help. I strongly advise that you sit your parents down when they get back and tell them about the money and exactly what you spend it on. Much easier once the secret is out. They will be shocked, upset, hurt, worried sick about you, but stress to them that you have a major gambling problem and plead with them that you need their help to recover and convince them you will abide by their rules. From my experience as a parent it its best for them to take over your finances so they can moniter your spendng and they will have to learn to trust you again and if they offer you some tough love you just take it on the chin because it does work. We have carried out a lot of this and it really is a good deterrent and the future is loooking brighter. Before parents get back speak to the Gamcare counsellors asap and enquire about counselling and get some emotional support off them and learn as much as you can about self exclusion from bookies, online stuff etc. People on these threads will help you with that as well. Get all this together before Mum and Dad come back so they can see you have started the ball rolling with your recovery. Tell them about Gamcare as well so they can educate themselves about the problem. You have to remember your parents probably worked hard for that money and you will feel happier working hard to get money and spending sensibly rather than the pain of losing it all on gambling. If you do not nip this in the bud now a few years down the line the debts will come and believe me a lot more heartache for you and your parents. I would advise that whatever happens with your parents you stilll stay on here for support and do not ever give up with trying to recover, and there is always plenty of support on here. Hope this helps and good luck.

Thank you both for the words of wisdom they definitely help. I'm just really scared at the minute about telling my mum and dad, I just don't know how they will react knowing I took that money without there knowledge. I'm now onto my 2nd day without gambling but that is mainly because I have no money to do it, Friday when I get paid will be my toughest time. I just need to find something else to keep my mind occupied and to try to find a different job to my current one.

Hi Chris12

Welcome to the forum and well done on posting as a lot of people find this very hard to do. Very wise words from Gamparentanon and the only thing I will add is try and be totally honest, this is something us gamblers find very hard to do but something we have to do in helping us on our road to recovery. Your parents will probably be very angry but I sure they will help you and if they see you already have the ball rolling like Gamparentanon has said I think this will help you. Hope you can get sorted and kick this addiction and will look out for updates.

"It's good to talk and take it one day at a time"

All the Best

Darren

Hi C - gfee 2 days - well done!

Yes you will be scared of telling your parents and who knows how they will react? - you know them better than anyone. When we were told it felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on us and it was all very emotional and yes there was some anger. But we soon realised that an action plan needed to be put in place asap to stop the problem. When you have told your parents you will actually find that a big weight will be lifted off your shoulders because keeping a secret like this and trying to cope on your own can destroy you with worry. So please give them time to get unpacked and have a cup of tea then sit them down and just tell them what you have done and ask them to help you recover from the problem. You have taken the first step to recovery already by coming on here and have gone 2 days gfree, which you should be proud of. Telling your parents is the very hardest bit but it has to be done for the good of your future. As for Friday, payday, I would recommend what you would have spent on the gambling you put aside as a first instalment to paying Mum and Dad back. On Friday make a decision that you come on here and talk to people instead of gambling i.e. talk to gamcare counsellors, write down a plan of things you can do to help yourself, ring a friend, watch a film, just keep busy. Also think of your healthy bank account without losing all that money. Your future will be bright if you follow some of the advice people are giving you on here and read the success stories forum for some inspiration.

Sorry to ramble on but hate to see young people having their lives destroyed by this.

Good luck with Mum and Dad and Friday.

Im onto day 4 gamble free today. Still living in absolute fear in how im going to own up to my parents tomorrow. The question tomorrow is the 1st chance i will have to gamble again as it is my payday, it wont be a big pay day as i didn't work much last week. My main problem is tomorrow i have free bets which i can still gain access to, i feel i could do this and not spend any money. Do you guys feel i should not do this or do you think i should do it as a last hurrah? I think i know what the answer should be but i think i just need to convince myself.

Think you should not do them. The 'free bet' is a simply the gambling company luring you...enticing you...see it as an appetiser.
If you use it you are fueling the fire. I know i sound drunk here but hopefully you understand me

No i think you are definitely correct. Im going to close it now and try and get rid of the thoughts in my head. Trying to curb my addiction is going to be so hard though when my dad keeps ringing me from abroad and asking for prices of horses and stuff like that. I suppose this will hopefully change tomorrow when they return and i have to tell them im an addict. It is so very scary just even thinking about even doing that though.

I'm so annoyed with myself. I've not relapsed on the gambling side yet but I have just massively failed to tell my parents about my addiction. I promised myself I would chat to them face to face, but I didn't I once again took the cowards way out and wrote a letter and just disappeared for a bit. I'm such a weak, weak person. My sister is trying to contact me, she knows and i thinks she's told my parents, she has just begged for my to return home and promised I'm not in trouble, but I just cannot bring myself to go back.

Well its up to you,go back talk it out get the help and support you need. Or be me and ruin,run,repeat, up to you ! I will tell you this one thing if you dont go back you will be here with failed diary after diary,i had a relapse but not again etc, with out them you will ruin yourself and will be bitter,broke,lonely,angry and for what? Gambling winning money you will never spend on anything.

I said to someone recently on here, if you've money to gamble you've money to save.

In this case you've got money to pay back some of your debt to your parents. It doesn't matter even if it's £20.

You need to go back and get things sorted. Your dad is a gambler as well. If he is actually ringing from a holiday abroad for horse prices, he most definitely must like a bet. He should therefore at least understand the gambling addiction.

Sounds like your sister could be a great support as well, so you have a real chance to start again with support from family, something which many don't. So get back home and bear your soul and I reckon you'll be surprised at the response you get.

Come back and let us know how you get on.

Sorry for not replying thanks for the messages again. I went home last night, my parents now know which is a good thing but I told them I don't want to go in any details. 7 days gamble free now, it is hard sitting at home because my dad is still gambling and I'm sitting watching racing and football which is what I did bet on a bit but I'm resisting from betting quite easily at the minute. My self exclusion from local bookies has gone through, I've already self excluded from my online accounts so I'm trying to stay positive and look forward from now on.

Well done on getting back home.

As you continue to abstain from gambling, you'll feel less nervous and embarrassed about your situation and be able to open up.

For instance, at first I told my family and friends, I was giving up gambling because I was getting into debt with it, not that I had 17k of debt. It was just to embarrassing to admit. My mum would have been panicked as well.

However once I had things firmly under control and the debt was going down, I was quite proud to say, I owed 17k but now it's xx and I'll be debt free in xx months.

You've already made so many great steps towards becoming gambling free. It won't sadly be made any easier with a gambler around, so I would distance myself as much as possible, such as not watching sports with them etc.

Take further steps, such as using blocking software on devices so you can't access new sites and I still say your sister is your best source for support and would be my choice if you consider someone keeping spare cash and cards out of harms way.

I'm sorry to say, but willpower alone won't work for 99.9% of people, so get all the support you need.

Keep us up-to-date and if you haven't already consider getting a diary going on these forums.