Hi All
This is day 3 of the new me. Dont know that that would have been the case if I hadnt decided to do an online search and came across this forum. Since joining I have put a block on all gambling sites that I found the link to on the site. I have been playing online slots for the last 15 It wasnt really a problem in the beginning I had 3 kids to look after so as soon as my wage went into the bank I made sure they had everything they needed and that all the bills were paid whatever was left at the end of the month was my little treat. When they left home was when things took a turn for the worse...I started putting a bit more on and then a bit more to try and get back what Id lost. It got to the stage that I had maxed out 3 credit cards and a bank loan to the tune of £24000 in the space of 4 years. I carried on paying my essential bills but ignored all the letters from banks until Sherriff Officers came knocking at my door. I managed to evade them for a few weeks but then they went into my work.....I was mortified but it gave me the courage to do something about the mess Id gotten myself into. I called CAB that day and they put me in touch with Step Change...within 3 days they had taken over everything contacting all my creditors and making offers of payment on my behalf. I thought this was great as I still had money left over every month to play with and I didnt have to worry anymore about the debt. Before long I was gambling every spare penny on payday.....not good when you are monthly salary. I had to take a second job but that too was all spent on the slots and I never had a penny to show for working 50 hours a week. The final straw for me was winning a fair amount of money last week I was elated thinking that was Christmas paid for and some left over for a new cooker as mine had packed in almost a year ago. I also planned to put some money away for my planned holiday next May. Of course that was short lived and I blew the lot over the space of 7 days....£800 of my own money and £2000 winnings!!!!! Unfortunately I told my daughters of my win and they were so pleased for me as they have seen me "struggling" to make ends meet for so long. As far as they are concerned I just have my usual wee £20 at the end of the month chilling on the slot machines....the lies we tell.
I joined the forum on Monday night and have read many of the stories of the misery gambling has caused to others and no longer feel alone...No one is going to judge me here. I woke on Tuesday morning with palpitations knowing that I couldnt remove the blocker. Sleep didnt come easy on Tuesday or Wednesday night but I woke this morning and the palpitations had gone and for the first time in a long time I had hope...Iv never thought of a slot all day the Rainbow riches jingle is no longer ringing in my ears. Its too early to say I have beaten my illness but with the help of this forum Im going to. Good luck to you all x
Hi Tweets
I wish you all the strenght possible to overcome this. I have just relapsed myself and know only to well the battle it is to overcome your demon.
I found help before with treatment, however the biggest help is finding other people who also suffer to guide you through.
Please message me for any support you would like.
Hi bakerboy,
Welcome to the forum, and well done for posting your story in the forum.
It seems like you’ve been struggling with your gambling problem for a long while, and though you did well by trying to make sure your children had what they needed at the time, and also paid the bills, a lot of your hard earned money also went into gambling, and which you weren’t appreciative of.
It appears like you were well aware of what was going on, and you tried your best to manage your income by taking on a second job but (quoting your own words): “I never had a penny to show for working 50 hours a week”.
It is very difficult to overcome gambling problem by yourself; you need professional help to do that. Also, gambling problem gets worse if you don’t do anything about it, and it can easily get out of control. Perhaps you’ll like to learn of more strategies and boundaries from the forum postings to help you to overcome your problematic gambling, and to look forward to achieving a gamble free future.
I’m glad to learn that you find the forum very useful and supportive. It’s also nice to learn that information from the forum has encouraged you to take the necessary steps to ban yourself from online gambling websites.
Maybe you’ll try and find some activities/ hobbies to fill in your spare time (gambling time) in order to avoid becoming bored, as boredom is one of the contributory factors that make people relapse when they are in recovery.
In case you feel you need further help, you can also contact us via our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133. Our lines are open everyday from 8.00am to midnight.
Thanks once again for your post, and pls. do try and post as often as you can.
Best wishes,
Beatrice
Thank you Bakerboy and Beartrice
I appreciate your support. I was doing really well but tonight I had a couple of drinks after work and came home looking for my daughters laptop.....my block is only on mine. Fortunately she had it upstairs with her. The urge to gamble was really strong but has passed now...probably only lasted a few minutes but had her laptop been down the stairs I know I would have blown the last of my wages in the blink of an eye. At least I am not going to get up in the morning feeling rubbish about myself.
Have told work mates about my problem and also one of my daughters. They already knew of course as no one could have won as much as me every month and still have nothing to show for it .....convenient that we only talk of our wins 🙂
Maybe I need to get off the computer all together for a while....every site I go on there are ads offering free money to bet!!!!! My phone has been going non stop from all the different gaming sites telling me they miss me and asking me to come back with the lure of some extra bonuses or a free fiver in my account... its only been a few days since i was on them fgs.
Today Im going to waken late (its already 5.09am) and il do some decorating didnt realise how shabby everything was beginning to look until now....I wont leave myself any time to think of anything else. Got to keep busy and focussed.
Hope you are all having a good weekend x
Hi tweets well done on overcoming your urge. If you say you are getting texts of old websites that you used to gamble with that tells me you haven't self excluded from them all.
Trust me this is a vital first step.
I must have cancelled myself from over 12 websites. And first time I did it I did leave one open as I had a small limit. But even this temptation got the better of me, since I finally self excluded from this last website things have been great and I haven't had one email or offer of a free bet.
Hi..Rst
because i put a blocker on all gaming sites i can no longer access them to self exclude. The texts are coming thru my phone. As i have never had any inclination to use my phone for the purpose of playing slots (its all too small so i don't get the buzz when the reels are spinning) in not too concerned. My problem is computers . . I got my hands on my daughters the other day,and i did wager ÂŁ20. I also won enough to have my roof fixed and withdrew straight away then confessed what i had done and she has now put a password on. Instead of feeling pleasure at winning all i felt was guilt at playing. But even that one slip in 14 days is an achievement considering i have played every night for years. . . Listen to me making excuses for my lack of control. Anyway i am now an avid online scrabble player. . And like gambling i lose all the time lol. . . But its taking up my time and costing nothing so no harm in it. I really should do a diary because it does help when putting everything down . .
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