Well done BDF. Im exactly the same not much to show but debt. Im only 5 days ahead of you. Lets make next year a good one all the way!
Unfortunately i am back to day 1 again ........ the strong urges i had been having finally got to much for me,disappointed in my self would be an understatement, feel a real let down but must somehow try and find the strengh to go again 🙁
Checking in 67 days
191 GF DAYS !!! Checking in baby 🙂
Checking in day 41 another small milestone
** GURU CHALLENGE - Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL! ***
It's Sunday, 10th December.
Welcome, once again, friends. I write this, like many of us, looking out of the window to a snowy vista. Winter’s arrived, alright, although it's technically Autumn, still, ‘til the 21st Dec.
Hey, I won’t deny being a bit ‘stir crazy’ today, ‘housebound’ all day, but that’s no excuse to gamble. To the outsider looking in, what’s more ‘sad’ (in every way), soullessly sitting in front of our computer, tablet or phone screens, gambling away our hard-earned money? Yet, sadly, that’s what so many of us have done, as part of this corrosive habit we’ve picked up.
Let’s never forget, we don’t have to waste our money away on nothing. But if really want to stop, really, really want to stop, there’s nothing for it but to pull out all the stops, because willpower (and even counselling and other support) alone is often not good enough. We’re that hooked, we must face it. A select few of us can turn this around through willpower and other psychological support, but not many – I would say this is a fact.
So it means putting practical blockers in place. The best one, in my experience, is restricting the money supply, having trusted loved ones or friends control our spending – I do this. No ready, unaccountable supply of money, rigorously enforced = no gambling.
Banning ourselves from bookies, casinos and arcades can help, too; but there are holes with this approach. What if you decide to gamble in a bookies after you’ve self-excluded; who’s culpable? I read a post where someone, and he was most indignant about it, saying he spent a grand in a bookies he had self-excluded from and wanted his money back – the staff should have stepped in. I have very limited sympathy, I’m afraid – the onus is on him, on us, to uphold our side of the deal. What if he had won? He can’t have it both ways, I’m afraid. We have to take responsibility. The staff aren’t perfect, they can’t spot everyone; don’t shoot the messenger.
Another practical solution is to move somewhere without gambling. That rules out the UK, probably. That’s a toughy for a zillion different reasons and not practical in most cases. Again, I’ve read dairies from desperate souls seriously contemplating emigrating to a non-gambling jurisdiction, but unless you’ve got quite a few quid in the bank, or that good a job or trade, then we have to be realistic here.
The best way, therefore, as I say it, is a rigorous approach to controlling finances, allied with continued determination to stop and actions to keep this determination at the fore. We have an ongoing condition so it requires ongoing attention. Whether writing (and maintaining) dairies here, phoning Gamcare, joining GA, counselling, support from friends and GPs, whatever steps we take, we have to keep at it. Lapse and we have a chance of failing, and we don’t really want to waste our lives like this.
It’s in our hands this, and I know it’s not easy. I have lapsed more than most over the years, in fact my last lapse was earlier this year, on Day 84, and I then disappeared from the ‘scene’.
That’s no good; I know that, for myself, my family, our future and my sanity I must stop, and ‘so say all of us’. Let’s not wait till we’re completely in the gutter, because that’s where it could sadly end otherwise. If we lapse – and many of us do – scramble straight back in the saddle.
No blaming others; that includes gambling companies – they do what they do, it’s up to us to deal with it. No overtly seeking of sympathy; but accepting of empathy. No excuses – straight back on the straight and narrow. To the better life to which we all aspire!
So… this week…
ROLLCALL OF HONOUR!
Sars27 – Congratulations on your half year gamble free; 183 hard-earned days just passed. It matters, my friend, as you well know. Keep it going!
Veebee – You’re a STRIVER – bloody marvelous! Great news, and fantastic you’re walking the walk here!
Slotfool - Delighted to hear you’ve also reached this critical milestone. Welcome to a great place to be – STRIVER level!
Our GURUs
Phil72 – 670 days – ROCKING! Those final Stepchange payments to go Phil; and I know you’re planning for the extra infusion of household cash you’ll have thereafter.
Changemylife – 408 days – ROCKING! – You’ve commented about an incredible post you read, and I agree it deserves a wider audience. Here it is, everyone (first post, by rich27) - it's well worth a read.
Our ELDERs
Degenerate – 257 days – ROCKING! No complacency, as ever, Degen. Demonstrating that, despite all impediments that invariably show their face, this is the way ahead.
ItMatters – 191 days – ROCKING! Steady as the ship sails, Itmatters. That’s the way.
Sars27 – 191 days – ROCKING! – Loving, as always, the positivity, laced with that realistic, steely edge
Rubybaby – 135 days - ROCKING! – Thank you for updating Rubybaby; busy living life!
Adamjamal2014-2017 – 132 – ROCKING! – You’ve had a tough time of late. You have the wisdom to know that, despite all life is throwing at you, you don’t want to make things worse. We’re all with you, my friend.
Mixer – 121 – ROCKING! I maintain – handing over financial control is a godsend. I still find this tough, but without money, I simply cannot gamble; it&rsqu o;s that micro-managed. Gambling free I remain!
Amt722 – 115 – ROCKING! – Thank you for checking in at this crucial time of year. Your resilience is noted.
Raj – 113 – ROCKING! – Thank you for your check in and delighted to read that you’re gambling free. Excellent.
Our STRIVERs
4D – 95 – ROCKING! Leading our STRIVER pack, 4D, delighted to see you’re in the zone at this important time of the year, too!
Adam808 – 75 days – ROCKING! With little fuss or fanfare, you’re living life, not misery. Good choice.
Geo – 71 days – ROCKING! Haven’t heard from you for a while, Geo – hope all’s Ok!
Boxingdayfresh – 70 days – ROCKING! Taking a measured, methodolical approach to Christmas and that’s sound planning, Boxingday!
Mitch91 – 71 days - ROCKING! – Similar to Boxingday, above, you’re ticking the right boxes as you reappraise the finances. Good move.
Paulll – 67 days - ROCKING! Thank you for checking in, as always, dealing with this – quite rightly – in a way that suits you.
Velvet7 – 61 days – ROCKING! – How much better is it to know the Christmas shopping and all the parapanilia has been dealt with? Priceless!
Moorey – 49 – ROCKING! – I always get nervous when posts saying “the urges remain..” appear; they sometimes precipitate a relapse. Prove me wrong Moorey!
Marson123 – 42 - ROCKING! – I read your latest diary post, Marson, and you’re quite right – when feeling weak remember the lows. The guilt, the losses, how it made you feel. I was very saddened to read about you and your wife though; who knows, maybe with time, and you seen to be steering a gambling-free path, and a gambling-free you, things, given time, may change. Thinking of you mate.
Christer1 – 41 – ROCKING! – Thank you, as always, for checking in, Christer, and you’ve said this is a small milestone you’ve hit. I look at it this way. This milestone – 41 days – is the most important milestone you’ve ever hit. The same applies tomorrow. Every milestone, every day, matters.
Antics – 40 – ROCKING! – Haven’t heard from you for a while, Antics; hope everything’s going well.
Veebee – 32 – ROCKING! - Really great to see you get promoted up the gambling-free ranks Veebee!
Slotfool - 31 – ROCKING! - This is really great Slotfool. Slotfool no longer, for as long you want to be, or – more to the point - need to be.
re-RESOLVED MEMBERS
Abstainer (*ELDER status achieved*) - 24 - ROCKING! – Thank you for your post and I know you’re laid up right now. We are so with you. (Will post on your thread later!)
06/11/17 (Previously ‘’Adam123’, Helpless‘& ‘Next Steps’) - 17 – ROCKING! Keep it going, Adam, let’s see you really want this, my friend.
HowDidIGetToThis (*ELDER status achieved*) – 13 – REJOINED – You’ve demonstrated staying power before; you will again.
Chartom3 (*ELDER status achieved*) – 1 – RELAPSE - Such a shame Chartom, you’d just reached ELDER! But no time to dwell, straight back into gambling-free mode. However you gambled, do your damnedness to make sure you block this next time you’re tempted. Otherwise – it may happen again. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Kudos for our honesty; confronting the truth head on and sharing it with us. Full respect.
RESTED
Curled Web – RESTED – Sadly, have to rest you, Curled Web. You’re welcome back any time.
Athena1991 – RESTED - With sadness, I have to rest you Athena. Do get in touch if you’d like to, we’d like that!
STATS FOR NERDS: We have ‘rested’ 2 members of our Challenge this week. No new members, so we currently have 2 GURUs, 8 ELDERs, 13 STRIVERs and 4 NEW/re-RESOLVEDs; a net total of 27.
Let’s keep strong; keep sharing and keep strong!
Mixer and Athena, your hosts for this challenge
Thanks as always for the RollCall, Mixer. A top effort mate.
The urges usually dissappear once the weekend is finally complete. It’s Saturdays that holds my biggest challenges.
Although those urges are lessening in terms of time (duration). Once the 3pm matches are complete, I can put my mind to other, less destructive things.
Determined to stay gamble free.
Day 50 tomorrow. One I shall celebrate with a glass of red 🙂
Thanks Mixer, reading the rollcall has given me a pick up and hope that i can see my gf days add up again, have blocked off the loophole i had and will do my upmost to get back on track again ....... thanks again.
I've put my blocks I can put in plus can't wait for these multi Дџonline multi service to start
Christer1 wrote: I've put my blocks I can put in plus can't wait for these multi Дџonline multi service to start
Yes the sooner the better as far as the multi online service is concerned, will be a benifit to me and others.
Keep positive chartom3. Don’t let one set back spoil your progress and gamble free journey. re-setting your days count is annoying, but it doesn’t take away the knowledge and understanding of your gambling problem that you’ve been learning more and more about whilst previously abstaining. You get to know your problem better as time progresses and just resetting your days count can’t undo that. Keep strong and believe in yourself. Stay close to the site and post regularly. We are all here supporting each other.
Thanks to Mixer for the brilliant weekly roll call. Always a pleasure to read and get a mention and much appreciated.
As long as your making reasonable progress in reasonable time, don’t be afraid to fail as long as you pick yourself up and and start again. Fail your way to success, it’s how we succeed at most things in life.
checking in late, my apologies, but still GF. Respect to those who've relapsed for stepping back up to the challenge with integrity and honesty. it isn't an easy post to make after you've stacked up a decent amount of days and toppled them down in a moment of weakness - but we all understand and are all rebuilding.
boxingdayfresh wrote: Thanks boxingdayfresh for your kind words, the help & encouragement of my gamcare friends is one of if not the main reason i have been able to abstain for long periods in the past. I wish you well on your own journey, you are doing great keep up the good work.
Keep positive chartom3. Don’t let one set back spoil your progress and gamble free journey. re-setting your days count is annoying, but it doesn’t take away the knowledge and understanding of your gambling problem that you’ve been learning more and more about whilst previously abstaining. You get to know your problem better as time progresses and just resetting your days count can’t undo that. Keep strong and believe in yourself. Stay close to the site and post regularly. We are all here supporting each other.
Thanks to Mixer for the brilliant weekly roll call. Always a pleasure to read and get a mention and much appreciated.
Moorey - thank you for your kind comments, although I'm more relieved, in truth, that you are not about to buckle! You've hit Day 50 - that glass of red very well deserved. And make sure it's not 'plonk' either. Get a decent bottle (my upper limit's no more than £6-£7, in fact here's a recommendation --> https://www.aldi.co.uk/ghost-vines-californian-zinfandel/P/078271170265400 🙂
Chartom1 - delighted you've blocked the loophole. Life's about getting up again; and getting up stronger! You know, can sense, how much we're picking you up and willing you back on the good path.
Christer1 - yep, the multi-blocking service will help us. Meantime, though, no excuses... we must take responsiblity for our actions, as we well know! And let's say the roll-out of this new servcie is delayed; it'll be disappointing, for sure, but no excuse. We must always ensure our coping mechanisms do not give us an 'out' where we find an excuse to gamble. Life's tough enough, and, conversely, good enough for us not to bother with wasteful pursuits.
Boxingday - thanks again for further kind words. With great advice to Chartom too! As you say, the 'count' goes back to 1, but previous performance is noted. None of us go back to 'Square One' unless we give up, and we're not giving up.
Norland27 - I echo those thoughts exactly. And a phrase/approach I'd not heard before: fail your way to success.
Antics - thank you for checking in. And you're right, it does take a certain strength of character to step up and say that you've relapsed. I always have respect for anyone who does this; it's easy to 'run and hide' or paint a false picture. (I 'ran and hid' after my last relapse; I won't do that again. As Norland said: fail your way to success. Get stronger as we go.)
We're a good group, friends. We get this. So let's keep going: together, with the bonding spirit we have. This is an oasis, a place outside the rough and tumble of life - a place of contemplation, sharing, learning, and topping up our resolve when we feel weak.
We're serious, but also positive, because we know we should live a better life, know we can, and are doing something about it.
Mixer
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