Hi, I regret to say that I have relapsed back to day 2 after 159 days GF.
Financial pressure of not having any funds and not knowing if a customer was paying the business which would of ruined us was the trigger. Would of been ok if I cashed out but no couldn’t stop so kept depositing to chase the losses and then had enough. Why o why did I do it. Idiot!!
So im not shying away from the fact that I’ve failed, very disappointed but it’s a harsh lesson to learn, was going fine being GF and got complacent.
It’s not easy and maybe more blocks for the future are required. It’s increased my debt which I didn’t need but I have no interest or urges to chase the loss. So back to day 2 and lets go again.
Apologies to Mixer and the rest of you all. Keep focused and don’t be complacent like I have been. I know now it’s a constant failing I have and that I mustn’t ever gamble again
Hi all once again some interesting reads on here and good research mixer. I'm on day 12 gf
** GURU CHALLENGE - Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL! ***
It's Sunday, 28th January 2018
Good morning/afternoon/evening!
I hope life’s treating you all well. It’s that time of the month – the first payday after Christmas, or, if you’re paid weekly, the first infusions of disposable cash injected into your bank account. Even if you’re paying off debts at the moment, you know and I know there’s always a bit of free cash. Don’t gamble it.
Now, last week I commented that I was researching something that I would let you know about this week. But I’m going to put this on hold this week, because something else has come up!
What’s that, you’re asking. Well, as you know, like many of us, I read the Gamcare forums frequently and especially comments on this thread. I noticed that my good friend, and fellow Guru Challenger, Abstainer (Stephen) had relapsed a few days ago. My reaction was the same as it always is: saddened at first, but then thinking: what is the missing link, what’s the underlying reason for this; you’ve relapsed a few times lately, how can we help you. So, Stephen, this post is dedicated to you and what we can do to help you. I’ve got a few ideas; let’s see if they help you, my friend. (UPDATE: And Amt722- just noticed you’ve had a blip too – so this is for you, too!)
I’m a bit of a vociferous reader. I read anything and everything, and currently reading a great book called “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan B Peterson (if you recognize the name, it was him who crossed swords with Cathy Newman on Channel 4 news a couple of weeks back - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMcjxSThD54)
Now, I’m not into ‘self help’ books as a rule; but this author struck a cord with me, because he cuts through the bull like a knife through butter and is not afraid to say it as it is. I like the cut of his jib.
He has come up with 12 rules of life, and, for you, Stephen, and fellow Guru challengers and visitors, here they are. I’m wondering if any of them strike a cord with you, as they have me, and whilst not directly gambling recovery related, they’re all about getting us all back on the track in a gambling-free world. I look forward to any comments you may have!
Rule 1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
Rule 2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Rule 3. Make friends with people who want the best for you.
Rule 4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
Rule 5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
Rule 6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.
Rule 7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
Rule 8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie.
Rule 9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t.
Rule 10. Be precise in your speech.
Rule 11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.
Rule 12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.
Food for thought, eh?
We’re not just trying to be gambling free; we’re trying to be better people. That’s not to say we’re not good people; we are, we’ve just got caught up with a horrible addiction and, in our efforts to break free, one day at a time, we need help and guidance to help us. I hope this helps you Stephen, Amt722 and everyone – because we care!
So - let's sit or stand up straight, shoulders back. Let's show some pride as we all find out ... how we're all doing this week.
ROLLCALL OF HONOUR
Degenerate – YES - our third ever GURU steps up the plate! Congratulations, Degen on a fantastic 300 days gambling free. None of this has been easy, I know you’re paying off debts and aware of other travails but all done with the knowledge that gambling simply makes things worse. Sometimes, reaching a milestone can be anti-climatic but we both know the journey continues and onward we march towards the next goal. How about GURU with a STRIVER ‘bar’ – 330 days. Our very best wishes to you, Degen as you continue this journey.
Godoicul – You’re a STRIVER; over 30 days in the bank. It shows you mean business, and can handle a pay day and associated temptation. Great stuff.
Adam123 - I know you struggle with the demon slots, Adam, and I hope my articles are helping you understand how rotten they are in every way. I hope you’re still gambling-free, do let us know. Meantime, congratulations on becoming our latest STRIVER!
WE WELCOME BACK
Raj – 162 – ROCKING! - Welcome back Raj, and thank you confirming you’re still gambling free! I was very concerned to read, though, you went to the casino the other night, but didn’t gamble. Please, be careful: you’re playing with fire. Don’t get burnt. How can I put this - keep out of the casino!
Ineffable – 29 – ROCKING! Welcome back, it’s great to have you back and great to hear you’ve accumulated 29 days GF! I know what it’s like first-hand when you dive off the forums when you’re struggling – I did exactly that last year. But you’re back again – that’s the spirit!
Our GURUs
Phil72 – 719 days – ROCKING! Almost at the 2 year mark but with no complacency, still treating this on a day-to-day basis. I know you’re planning for the month ahead when your dear wife is away and help you’re feeling Ok.
Changemylife – 457 days – ROCK ING! – You have really given me food for thought with your recent posts, especially when you’ve looked at whether continuous references to gambling on the threads, especially when we’re well into a gambling-free journey, could be counterproductive (after all, we’re trying to get away from gambling). I think you have a point J I also liked your list of '50 Reasons why people should take part on sports’ – perhaps I can copy the list onto this thread if that’s Ok with you?
Degenerate – 306 – ROCKING! - Great to see you in the GURU part of the ‘ledger’! Does it matter? (Yes.)
Our ELDERs
Sars27 – 240 days – ROCKING! –Keepin’ it movin’ and, yes, like you, missing the Chat room. Hopefully it’ll be back soon. Gamcare are currently testing the new Chatroom; late at night they’ve been working at it!
Rubybaby – 184 days - ROCKING! – Hi Ruby and hope you’re still positive and focused!
Mixer – 170 – ROCKING! Keeping going. Because there’s no choice – it’s misery for me and my family otherwise. I can’t put them through it (again). Trying to cut down the booze – 3 pints in the last 7 days! But a few ‘leaving do’s’ at work coming up – but feel I’ve earned them.
4D – 144 – ROCKING! I hope all’s well with you, 4D; I appreciate you only post periodically. Do keep in touch though 🙂
Boxingdayfresh – 119 days – ROCKING! Thank you for checking in, and your post. The gambling devil is hovering around you at the moment and we need to flick him off your shoulder. You know social gambling is incompatible with being a problem gambler. You were right to talk to your best friend. Keep going!
Mitch91 – 116 days - ROCKING! – I haven’t heard from you for a while Mitch and am a bit concerned. I know you’re counselling has finished. Keep strong and do get in touch!
Paulll – 116 days - ROCKING! Thanks for the check in, Paul; as always you have a disciplined approach – a good routine – to this. Doing great.
Our STRIVERS
Marson123 – 91 - ROCKING! – You’ve gone a little quiet Marson and hope you’re Ok. Please let us know!
Slotfool - 80 – ROCKING! – Good to hear you’re busy – the (gambling) devil makes (bad) work for idle hands. Keep it going!
Chartom3 (*ELDER status achieved*) – 50 – ROCKING! Congratulations on 50 days GF! The urges will come to us when we least expect it – so, as you say, we must always be on guard. Taking the dog for a walk is ‘manna from heaven’ for your dog too – everyones a winner!
NiceNormalFamily - 44 – ROCKING! – I’m really enjoying your posts liberally sprinkled on the forums NNF – your advice is pragmatic, practical and from the heart.
Godoicul – 37 – ROCKING! – Thank you for checking in and also for reading my diary. I’ve left it for a while because I tend to tend to concentrate on this thread but revisit from time to time. I really appreciate your kind comments and great to see you 44 days GF.
Adam123 - 36 – ROCKING! – Haven’t heard from you for a week but I’m crossing my fingers Adam.
NEW & re-RESOLVED MEMBERS
Leeders100 - 19 – ROCKING – Thank you for checking and may I say – watch out! You’ve popped into the bookies and although you didn’t bet – why tempt, why tease, why torture yourself? Self-exclude is my advice. You’ve got to, mate.
Christer1 – 12 – re-RESOLVED – You’ve mentioned why there isn’t much mentioned of the bookies taking a hit with the imminent change in the law as it appertains to FOBTs. Probably because as problem gamblers, it’s of cursory interest – we’re not gambling anymore. Still, it’s nice to hear they’re getting a kick in the ankles. Remember, though – they are crafty and greedy and will think of other ways to grab back the cash. We must always be on guard.
Clarence123 – 8 – ROCKING - I haven’t heard from you since you joined the other week – do let us know how you’re getting on!
Amt722 – 3 – (*ELDER status achieved*) - re-RESOLVED – I know you’ve not had it easy and can empathise with the stresses that caused this trigger to happen. As you know, relapsing just makes things worse, but we all have our ‘breaking point’; but you’ve come clean straight away and all credit to you for that. That’s what underpins us all – integrity. Back on the good path, my friend.
Abstainer (*ELDER status achieved*) – 2 - re-RESOLVED – Let’s help you ‘back on the hoss’ Stephen!
RESTING - No one rested this week.
STATS FOR NERDS: We’ve welcomed back two GURU challengers, no newbies this week. We have 3 GURUs, 8 ELDERs, 7 STRIVERs and 5 NEW/re-RESOLVEDs; a net total of 23.
Let’s keep 2018 going as we mean to go on!
*** JOKE OF THE WEEK ***
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 6 months, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way h ome, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
She replied: (wait for it .... 🙂 )
"You're going to die!".
🙂
Let’s keep strong and keep smiling!
Mixer
THANKS mixer ! Props to you my man! 240 GF DAYS ! I’m in ecstasy 🙂
Thanks, Mixer. Not really a good day for me I am afraid. Feelinig quite depressed just want for Monday to come. I always liked Mondays. Rule number one reminds me of someone I knew many, many years ago. He would often say I walk around like I own the world and have millions in the bank, yet not a single penny in the pocket. Today I feel lower than the grass. I am tired of being the strong one.
​Take care everyone, really sorry to read about few relapses over the past 2 days.
Hi mixer, yep still gamble free, ive let everyone at poker know I'm not playing anymore, ive been off work sick since start of the year due to stress at work, my medication means I can no longer drink alcohol. I have stopped taking my nicotine gum as it was making me throw up with coughs. Been going to gym everyday or twice a day. Hoping to go back to work on the sixth but not sure yet. Work is stressing me out. New tee total Adam is here and here to stay so with pride I say I'm still gamble free. Thanks again mixer for all the support over a long period of time.
​
NiceNormalFamily - I'm sorry to hear you're in the wars. As for the 'advice' whoever it was gave you years ago, I'd kick that and him into the long grass. It was negative 'advice' and I'd cast it from my mind. I refer, opaquely, to Rule Number 3. Try not to feel too down; enjoy tonight, close the curtains, watch the telly, spend time with your loved ones if you can. If not, remember: keep alone is fine, lonely isn't. So call on family and friends as necessary! Keep strong - you can be the strong one for as long as you want to be. Dig into that inner strength and resolve that is in there 🙂
Adam123 - delighted to hear you're gamble free. Great you've let your friends know you're off the demon slots - they're on your side; they want you to stop. They like the 'old' Adam, the Adam that doesn't gamble! Keep well, keep into the gym and keep off the f**s/booze, it's clear it's not helping you at the moment. Chat to hr about your work if you can, or someone higher than your line manager if he/she is the problem. With you all the way, Adam; keep posting, keep chatting.
Sars - EXCELLENT my man !!!!
Congrats Mixer on with your personal quest and resolve. 170 days GF is no mean feat. And no doubt using every positive bit of info or feedback to drive onwards.
Yes of course you may copy and use the '50 reasons to take part in sport' list. It's stuff like this that can help and make a difference for us all. Especially when we're feeling down or at a loose end. Instead of wanting to punch a wall or going down a pathway of distruction, we can choose an alternative. Slam a squash ball at the wall, try out a game of 'Footie Golf' or just pound the streets with an exhaustive, but exhilarating jog.
Hi Mixer and fellow challengers. I apologise for not checking in and going quiet for a while. Im on day 92 and absolutely 100 percent in a good place with not gambling. The rest of my life however is quite a big challenge and mess right now im not one to air my laundry in public however i am at ease with people here. Im going strong and living day to day the breakdown of my marriage has now turned into what feels like a war. I actually dont even know the person who i called wife with how everything has transpired. I wont go into detail however i have opened my eyes that my gambling was my outlet for the life i quite frankly just didnt enjoy. I know how bad that made things but i know where i am now and i am enjoying finding this person in me thats been lockdd away for so long. So day 92 almost at an end. Im looking forward to hitting the 100 day marker hoeever i take every day as a reward for commitment and hard work.
Hi mixer
Yes probably not my best idea going into the bookies. I do miss having a bet on the horses though and never really spent a lot on them but any losses from that I would try to chase back in the FOBT’s which 99% if the time meant heavy losses.
I’ve put together a spreadsheet showing all my debt and monthly payments I will be making against them and my target date for debt free (excluding mortgage) so really feel I’ve got something to strive for. Seeing it in front of me every day really helps.
Checking in on day 54 gamble free, just taking it one day at a time .....
Done it again relapse. I'm not going to go on I expect people already think I'm a attention seeker on here sorry everyone
Just a quick check in on 123 days ! Thanks for the weekly update and best wishes to everyone, regardless of your gamble free total - ensure that today you do not gamble.
Evening, everyone. I'm in a 'one liner' frame of mind, let's see how I do...!
changeyourlife - thank you; your 50 reasons will take pride of place on my Sunday rollcall!
marson_123 - getting close to the ton-up; don't let yourself down. I sense your genuine determination.
Leeders100 - keep out of tempation's way, that's your No.1 target, my friend
chartom1 - excellent progress; I'm delighted, and you know I mean that.
boxingdayfresh - really pleased you've hit the 1-2-3!
Ineffable - you get this; Rule No.2 is spot on; keep it going.
Checking in at 85 days.
Been feeling regretful
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