*** Join The Guru Challenge! ***

Sincere apologies to Mixer and all on the challenge as I have gambled today. Tuesday will be day 1.

I got my bank card back off my friend to make a couple of payments but ended up in the betting shop.

No point going into details, it's the same all story. Now I will be struggling this month plus I have let my friend down.

Sorry friends but I am taking a break from the diaries to get my thoughts together.

Wishing everyone well...stephen

Hi Tara - My apologies, I misread your comment first time around but I get your point now 😉

I remember times, when really steeped in this addiction, where I’d see any coin slot and pump money in it - even a drinks machine! This horrible addiction can really play tricks with our minds.

But we’ve got to try. Got to keep trying! I maintain, continually forced blocks - for life - is the only way for sure.Thank you for clarifying your comment, Tara 😉

Just on that point actually ... if you want to make sure you can’t access any cash, then we can open a TSB account; that will do it 🙂

Stephen - thank you for letting us know what’s happened. It’s extremely dufficult going gambling free especially when we come into contact with disposable cash again. Sometimes, despite the blocks, it’s just too tempting and the subsequent binge always has predictable results.

Will we ever learn? And I can talk - I’ve had several relapses over the years.You won’t get any judgemental talk from me, I’ve been the worst.

And, as we know, it’s a horrible place to be as, sadly, we all know first hand.

We are all here to pick you up again, Stephen - we are here, and we are friends. We listen when you’re down. We are happy for you when you’re feeling up.

Keep your head up - because your heart is in the right place. We are fallible - but we can do something. That’s seek help, maybe counselling (or more counselling). Being more strict with your blocks. Booking a day trip somewhere as soon as the disposable funds are available; at least the money’s spent on something useful

Head high Stephen - we’re with you.

Mixer

Thanks again mixer and yes still gf.

Unfortunately this whole episode has meant that I have split with my partner. This will now become much harder as I am on my own again. I will prove to myself and others that I am through this and show that gambling won’t be part of my new life!

I thought we would get through it but it does show how much it effects others in our lives.

Keep it up everybody and Stephen I hope you come back stronger.

Thank you Mixer for your support and encouragement.

Running away from the diaries won't solve anything so I will start again today and try harder.

Strange how I start to get myself together and than throw it all away for no reason...stephen

Notever12 - I'm sorry to hear about what's happened. The consequences of this addiction are broader and more traumatic than we sometimes realise. It's now a case of retrenching, dusting yourself down and strating again, wiser, more experienced and determined to do what you know you must do - manage this condition. Relapses are extremely painful; what happens reminds me of this nursery rhyme:

Mary had a little lamb

It's feet were made of lard

So every single foot it took

It slipped back half a yard.

Ultimately - we have to move forwards, otherwise we'll keep on slowly but surely slipping backwards.

Stephen - It's puzzling, isn't it, how we are so masochistic with ourselves; punishing ourselves after we've been so good - being gambling free for so long. Why do we DO that? It's because we're addicted and just do. Nothing deeper than that, actually. It's a bloody shame, but we have to keep trying and improving those blocks. We CAN live a much better life ... we don't have to put up with the misery of the alternative. Keep going, my friend 🙂

Hi Stephen, It's been close for me too with all the time off due to an injury and having the ability to drive to a further away casino. I definately skipped out of the online help sites due to slips that turned into continued relapse. Slips are crazy but no one judeges because it's just the way it is until that magic happens for each one of us as it has happened for some of us like those with a year (s). I did read a post from someone who stayed gf for 5 years with a ban and then when it was lifted went directly there to gamble. I think that senario is common also. All this can fuel our journey and YOU are so coooool for coming back on to the guru page as we need you here brother. tara2

P.s. stephen... anything you can share , when you feel like it, will be greatly appreciated as it can help us all. And sorry you had to go through some mishap. t2

Hi Mixer, would it be possible for me to rejoin your challenge?

I’m not looking to make excuses but I’ve had a torrid few months which has led me to gamble.

Subsequently, I have made the massive step in telling my girlfriend about my gambling. This has given me a new sense of hope in my battle to fight this addiction.

We’re both working on where to go from here, but for now, I would love the opportunity to rejoin your challenge. Would that be possible?

I can only apologise for letting you down, as well as myself, but as you’ve said yourself, this is not easy.

Dan

Thank you Mixer & Tara. I really appreciate your support and understanding. It was utter madness giving most of my works pension to the bookmakers on Monday. I let myself and friends down, it halted my recovery and now I will have to struggle this month.

However, I have, over the last year abstained from gambling for 6 and 2 month periods. Now is my opportunity to build on that.

The Guru Challenge is an excellent way to get that first 300 days under my belt.

Checking in and on day 9, had 8 days gamble free. Sorry to hear some of you have had bad times recently but I think you should be so proud of yourselves for getting straight back in the saddle again, I think and hope that we can only get stronger from these relapses. x

Yet another GF week and, boy, it has been so hard. The urges have been terrible and I felt so vulnerable. To those who have relapsed... keep strong! You are NOT alone. All the very best for the week

Checking in on day 145 gamble free ..... wishing everyone well.

9 days deep, was feeling strong to start but have urges last few days, looking at you tube videos about gambling issues which then link to videos of people having good runs on FOBTs hasnt helped... but they are the reason i am here so.... believe!!!

Good afternoon, everyone! How are we navigating what's proving to be a difficult time for many of us; it seems, sadly, particularly busy on the forums at the moment. I wonder if the spring, and sunnier weather, brings out the optimism in us all; but also the dangerous, lurking fake optimism that makes us think we'll be lucky at gambling.

Sadly, as we know all too well, we can't gamble, because even if we do win, we'll give it all back, and then some more. That's the brutal reality. Why can't we hold onto a profit? Because's there's always the tantalising bigger, or further profit out there. And, because of the law of averages (house edge) we'll always come unstuck. We know this, of course. So why do we go back? If I knew the definitive answer to that one I'd sell it to everyone for £1 and probably become a millionaire! (or the bookies would silence me for £2m ... 🙂 )

Meantime, we keep trying. We have to keep the ship steady. It's only one life, let's not needlessly **** it up.

Determined Dan - Welcome back to the challenge! You're always welcome, always unconditionally. Extra determination and, most of all, better blocks, that's what you need. Blocks are the best. Determination, as we know, can go wayward!

Xangel11 - Thank you for your post and your support of others. This is, as I've written before, go karma and will help you on this lifetime gambling-free journey.

Caughtup - Glad to see you're smiling as a gambling-free life takes hold. We sometimes panic that a gambling free life will be grey and empty and yet the opposite it true! How so? Gambling takes up a small amount of our time, actually, and at huge expense. It's gambling that makes us grey and empty! Money can do things, so much more, than shovelling down the drain whch is what gambling, for us compulsive gamblers, effectively is. Such a shame! Keep it going 🙂 !

Serendipity - It's not easy this, especially around a monthly payday. Keep any free spend out of your reach at this difficult time. Temptation, can, unfortunately, easily override our willpower at times like this. It's because of this proven fact that we need to beef up our blockers to the hilt - excludingourselves from any gambling anywhere and everywhere we can. Or hand over full financial control - permanently. (That's what I've done.)

Chartom3 - Excellent ot see the progress you're making. Really good to read, my friend.

Stephen - Delighted to read you're straight back on the diaries where you make such a positive impact to so many others. I know full well how difficult this is. I know you've paid a heavy price this month - sadly, all spent out - with a yawning, long time ahead to reflect of the harsh, brutal realities of this addiction. It's sad to write these words and I feel for you. Gotta keep blocking, Stephen - you know this! With you every step of the way, my friend.

Jeffutd - The Youtube videos, both the online and FOBT ones, are not what they seem. The Online ones, where streamer after streamer seems to make a huge profit, are in 'pretend play' mode despite how it looks. The casinos play the streamers to effectively advertise how good the casino is. The reality is quite different. Use Gamstop if you haven't already. The FOBT videos aren't what they seem either - the bookies pay for the streams to be put on Youtube! The Youtubers get paid back any losses direct from the bookies, and, of course, receive substantial affiliation income (as do all streamers). All the Youtube commenters think it's 'real' but it's simply not real! You've heard of fake news ... these streams are fake gambling! Steer well clear, Jeffutd - why torment yourself?