fresh start

Boro.
Fella I appreciate you changing the picture, I truly do believe that you will find a way to halt the destruction addiction wages, we have both been here a long time and I believe that in you doing so it speaks volumes about how you do want a life that doesn't revolve around the next bet.
I respect your honesty, it goes a long way.
With strength and honour my friend.
Duncs.

Hey mate

Can only reinforce what Dunc and ALN have said and it does worry me that even when the FOBT stake is reduced, you'll find another way to feed your addiction and carry on doing your load. And maybe at that point you'll finally realise your addiction for what it is.

I really hope I am wrong though. Noone can force feed you the realisation of how all-encumbasing this addiction is Graeme, you need to realise this for yourself - then you will find the hope and inspiration within to finally tackle this, and you will also see that the support offered on Gamcare has so much more potential for you than a place you can go to offload your sorrows each time you gamble and consequently feel a bit better about it. We are all walking the same path mate and we can help each other, if only you're willing to get stuck in and help yourself first.

Cheers for your comments lads really appreciate them.

The thing is I have tried councilling didn’t work.I have been to the doctors what a waste of time that was. I still have a lot of good things in my life like me daughter and son. Not my real son but our Amy brother he still thinks I’m his dad and he 16 now. But both of them still mention my gambling when I was with there mam . I have it chucked in my face all the time but in them 8 years I have always made sure they never missed out on anything. I have bought them PlayStation’s Xbox,s I have always been the one to go without. I have no doubt amy loves me it’s just all the s**t her mams put in her head. But I have always been in her life and I always will. Got just about every block in place self exclusion still can go in (I’m not strong enough). Gamstop on me phone. Not got me cash card. I need to be stronger in my head

Hey boro.
I do feel your pain. We have all been there when we have tried so hard not to gamble but have done it anyway and felt worse than before. I just posted on signalmans thread that for me it was not about the money, it was an escape from my personal pain. For me the escape itself became an addiction. I came to realise that if I continued on the path I was on I would lose my daughter in the future. It's was bad enough her telling me all about her mum's partner and all the fun they have together and the things that he buys them both. I have realised that I will always be her dad and it's down to me to be the best dad I can. To be fair though, I think her mum's new partner is actually ok but I can't stop thinking that he has taken my home, partner and daughter when in reality I gave them up for gambling. I hear what you are saying about you ex filling your daughters head with nonsense but surely it's important you don't give her any ammunition. I think I recall on your post you had a long time abstaining from gambling?! Take that mind set and try it again and keep trying as it's clear gambling does not make us happy or contented or replace things we have lost because of our addiction. I know what Dunc is saying about your shirt endorsing gambling. However, these days gambling is everywhere, you cant hide from it and just because we are addicted, we shouldn't need to hide from it. We know what misery gambling brings and how dangerous it is. Society needs to change and maybe one day us addicts will help change it. You are not alone. Boro, you said that you have no life, that gambling has ruined it all...take that thought and make a new life that gambling can't touch. Stay strong brother.

Marcella I love my daughter more than anything in the world. I loved her mam just as much but gambling ruined it. Never thought I’d find anybody else as good and I did but gambling ruined that as well to be honest. I’m in a better place regarding my ex so if our Amy came and told me her mam had somebody else I’d be fine with it now. If it had happened 8 years ago I would have been devastated. In them 8 years me and her mam have got together. But she always regretted it. I actually want my ex to be happy. I can understand how you think he taken your place because in your head you couldn’t help yourself and you never thought you would lose your ex because of gambling. I was the same

As for the Middlesbrough top I never considered the sponsorship. Promoting gambling but like you say you get it everywhere these days.

Graeme

Did you say you self-excluded from the shops yet or did you mean you're not strong enough to do it yet? If not you really should. Just get it done and you will feel a huge weight lifted.

How are you anyway

I’m excluded from them all. But you can still go in them mate

Self control exclusion doesn’t work. You need a lot more blocks in place.

Fair point... I'll never forget hitting up a bookie after self-excluding the week before and the same lad that did the form with me greeted me and made me a cuppa instead of kicking me out... So ok touche in that respect.

I guess the clue is in the title though mate - self-exclusion for me was a huge weight lifted because once complete it became risk-based whether to enter the bookie or not... I went in a couple of times freely before being turfed out and that embarrassment alone kept me away for some time. Yeah to be fair I could walk in there now and be fine but what I tend to do is when I feel strong I go in and renew my self-exclusion, so that when I feel weak the block is effective. The clue is in the title brother ;o)

Anyway hang in there for now. Day at a time.

Self exclusion you still need will power to keep out. It’s still a good thing though because you could make a fool of yourself going in and then being asked to leave. I have had that happen before it’s embarrassing.

Hey boro. How have you been? Still winning the fight? Thanks for the comments on my thread. It helps more than you will ever know. Stay strong big fella.

I’m ok mate thanks. Taken each day as it comes

I have gambled was winning 2800 lost £1500 of it. Finished work then straight in betting shop today £100 spins. Lost the £400 cash then started putting money on using me card. Put £2000 on me card got up to 1600 so only losing £700. Then begin to lose got down to £830 and just collected it. So a net loss today £1530 🙁

Feel sick again. This is mental torture we put ourselves through. Not really lost but it’s crazy the way I was gambling. Finally cut me card up so nobody need to look after itbecause me mam at her age put to much pressure on herand I can’t use me card in the betting shops. April can’t come quick enough