Alternatives

Phil ! Phil ! Phil ! You've just hit the nail on the head buddy ! I'm not gonna stop saying that everyone is an individual ! Yes ! You heard me said it again ...

It's like saying every millionaire made their millions by just using one spectacular method ? Or even saying every cause of deaths are the same ! We just have to accept what works for you may not work on someone else ..

I guess instead of shoving your beliefs on someone's throat it's better to support them by adding your experiences and success. Maybe think before you speak too !

Sars

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If something works for them and they also see the same results in others, then why not feel passionate about it ? Why wouldn't they want to share there learnings ? Would it not, after all be selfish if they didn't.

So, I'm going throw a question onto a question after delivering my humble above. But why does it matter to you? Why not look within yourself and find the answers, rather than try and pick faults in others ?

The people who actively find fault in others are the same people who are blind to there own.

The more methods the better I guess, its always good for those that relapse to have something else to try next.

This is from someone who has not done GA/Steps but has stopped gambling for a while.

Also from someone who's stepped back from this forum a bit recently so maybe a bit more detatched than I used to be.

When others portray GA/Steps advocates as domineering/imposing their will/blinkered etc - I see the 'accusers' as pretty insecure about their own recovery. Hence the need for the seemingly constant (feeble) attacks.

It seems that GA/Steps people seem more confident about their recovery - and it is this confidence which really upsets people. It seems that if people committed to their own recovery, in the same way they pick holes in GA, then they might be more confident and there wouldn't be this need to pick holes.

I have an alternative way, ACT, which I find such an profoundly helpful way of living that I don't need to attack others.

Incidentally, some of what I've read about the Steps I don't agree with. But a) I haven't looked into it in any depth, and b) I look at the people who are doing the Steps and I think, by and large, they're doing well and the quality of their recovery seems generally superior, so whatever might be wrong with the Steps, there's a lot more that must be right about it. So, I think, even if it's not quite my cup of tea, why pick holes?

I would be less bothered about this, if the people on the attack were offering some kind of alternative. Some kind of structure which is capable of taking you outside of the addicts warped way of living, away from continual avoidance and confusion of purpose. But there's nothing, just vague statements like 'we're all different', 'recovery is bespoke', 'it's all about the individual'. Whilst these statements at first glance seem fair enough, I come to appreciate them as a smoke screen for 'I know best', a way to allow the ego party to carry on (under the pretense of change).

If people who do Steps seem less happy (Phil), maybe it's this. Maybe, people those who do Steps are more likely to be undergoing a more genuine recovery. Maybe when they then log on here and sea of nothingness, an echo chamber of positive reinforcemnt based on not very much, maybe they get frustrated. Maybe people who do Steps are consciously moving away from a model of seeking constant reassurance by the Gamcare gang and so talk more straight.

I got frustrated recently about a poster basking in reflected glory of abstention, when it was built on lying to his wife. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm 'miserable' in my life. I might or might not be, but I'm less willing to support harmful and self-defeating behaviour.

Louis

Post completely misinterpreted by some as anticipated.

I specifically said I wasn't looking for a confrontation and am not "attacking" anyone specifically.

Whether I am "happy" in my recovery or not is irrelevant and unless you know me you can't really comment - I AM happier than I was which is a fact. The other thing IS I have become become confident in my recovery to challenge the one track-thinking of other forum members who are confident enough to impose their opinions on others.

I am not "obsessed" with the Steps and as this is the D&D section I don't think there is anything wrong with me asking the question about alternatives?

So please as non-moderators don't tell me what I can and can't post. There is nothing offensive in the post above and I am fully aware of my many, many flaws. Best wishes, Phil.

Phil

I know you like to control the forum - by dictating how people should post (which is ironic given your previous) but unfortunately I don't agree to your rules.

Bear in mind Phil, I don't do GA/Steps so have no tribal reason to defend it - but it's fairly clear your obsession with it is based on insecurity.

Louis

That is hilarious Louis - really made me laugh thank you. I just looked back at my last 50 or so diary entries and I mention GA, steps and sponsorship maybe 3 times and generally talked about my day to day life so I could reflect on where "I'm at".

Here's an online definition of obsession: "an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind". Well I guess 3 out of 50 or so posts is definitely indicative of obsession....

Dictation? Who have I dictated to? Why would I? What are these rules you mention? I was moderated which I actually had the guts to admit to the forum because of comments I made in the chatroom and I accepted the moderation 95 per cent. It was never to do with posts on my diary or responses to other posts.

I started a debate about alternatives to GA and made it clear I wasn't dismissing the fellowship and the steps and actually used the word "fantastic" if it works for someone.

I think it is incredibly unfair to not offer anything to the debate I started other than to have a go at me. I only post a few times a week (the last week more than normal admittedly) so how you can say "I like to control the forum" completely baffles me and is quite upsetting to be frank and of course adds to my "unhappiness and insecurity".

Best wishes, Phil.

Dear Forum Users,

Welcome and thank you for using this forum space, we welcome discussions and debates, however if we are talking about alternative means to services and strategies for problem gambling, then it may be helpful to keep the subject inline with discussing different services (e.g. GA, counselling, ACT, and many other strategies which as a forum collective you all practice, with benefit and positive outcomes for each is different). We encourage people to keep the Forum a positive environement about recovery processes.

We recognise that each person has different persectives and points of views, and sometimes when people are communicating through messages things can be misinterpreted or taken in another context, so lets hope to keep a positive environement, and resolve disagreements with the moderators and forum admin team.

Thank you for all of you contributions and please continue to access the support of the forum and its memebers.

Kind Regards

Forum Admin

Phil

I checked your recent posts. Excluding your posts on this thread, 6 of your last 14 posts were about ga/Steps.

You're devoting such a lot of time to something you're being negative about.

In my experience, such a negative focus usually has unhealthy roots, such as insecurity or jealousy

ACT. Never heard of it before. Learnt something new. Thank you.

A caveat to begin with & a request for no one to reply unless they agree. In between an attack on an unnamed third peron which is me,on how they conduct themselves, their (alleged knowledge) & their apparent unhappiness.

If you can find the post where i say GA is the only way, please re-post it.

The only judgements i can see are being projected by yourself.

My recovery experience is through GA so naturally thats what i talk about. You would expect others would do the same. I dont dismiss any other form of help except the most popular one on here, wishful thinking. If there were all these wonderful recovery techniques out there, where are their advocates?

GA doesnt have a drop down menu of options. It has one solution. The Steps. This is the case with every other recovery program out there you can name, they have their solution for getting well & if you want it to work, you follow said method.

If you had a physical or medical complaint & went to the doctor after a month & said im not getting better, their first question would be, well did you follow the instructions i gave you. When you reply no, i thought id do what i thought best, he will probably reply, well go figure why youre still sick.

GA works, as do many things, if you strictly follow what it says on the tin.

I wasnt going to reply because i find your constant barbs directed at me & GA petty & perhaps it would have been better not to. At least others who object to what im saying have the courage to interact with me directly

All this is said in a non confrontational way & please no nasty comments or opinions that i may not like.

Lol I wasn't going to reply either until I saw the terms "constant barbs directed at me" and "cowardly attacks". Retrospectively I've agreed with a lot of your posts recently Dan so I don't understand why you think I'm having a go at you. Perhaps this topic should be locked as it seems my original intention has created hostility and personal comments towards me. Best wishes, Phil.

Nothing wrong with your post Phil! I don't get the guy above you as you haven't even mentioned any name .. obviously he's getting b**t hurt for unknown reason . Maybe a chill pill and lots of smiles is better than pointing fingers out 🙂 peace out вњЊпёЏ