We CANNOT win long-term

I think it's important to understand that the need to gamble isn't genuine reasoning or a genuine belief in making money (at least beyond gaining more gambling tokens).

Gambling is about AVOIDING INNER PAIN. Psychs call it 'experiential avoidance'. What we're avoiding are painful thoughts and emotions - often about self-worth and not measuring up to who you want to be.

And so gambling provides the buzz and escape to numb out from these unpleasant inner experiences. But this short term 'gain' comes at an enormous cost. Obviously, there's time and money. But more importantly, the problem that you're escaping from just magnifies.

The digger you deep, the higher the walls that surround you. So, say you have a recurring thought of 'i'm not good enough' or 'I'm unloveable' - these are just thoughts. But we are so fused with them that these thoughts become 'truths' and capable of inflicting enormous pain. So much so that we need to escape. You're then into the negative spiral as, when you stop gambling, you realise what you've done, you're self worth dives even further. You're now so low that the only option seems like ......to have another bet.

In the cold light of day, it's remarkable how 'mere' thoughts and feelings cause us to self-sabbotage in this way. But this is what happens.

All the stuff about eg. thinking you can beat the system, thinking this time it'll be different, I'm not like others I can win because X, Y or Z. This is just what I would call 'rationalisation', which is just a pretext we give ourselves to indulge in our pleasure of AVOIDANCE.

So I don't think the issue is really about 'fooling' ourselves, as you suggest. As we know deep down what we're doing. The question is what are we avoiding and then how do we make peace with ourselves.

Louis

Yes and in recovery I feel that its good to think things through and try and get some understanding of whats really going on.

Louis has it spot on in the post above. When I say the addiction is complex it becomes far clearer when you find out who you are and understand the points Louis has made.

I was gambling to avoid inner pain. A crucial point is that I thought I was functioning on some level but a feeling of emptiness and loneliness had deeply affected me. It is remarkable how reinforced feelings or neuron paths in the brain cause us to self sabbotage like that. Gambling sets up a vicious circle and I was escaping from escape until I didnt know what was going on any more. I thought I had control as I licked my wounds and thought about willpower. However on the spur of the moment all control was lost and its very scary when I think about it now

The money played a part but it wasnt mainly about the money. This seems an odd thing to say when on the face of it gambling seems to be about making money to a casual observer. How could I have computed that it was a money making opportunity when time and time again I had lost every penny I had.

I liken it to an escape fix with drugs. The person tries the drug to experience a feeling and escape from themselves. It helps them forget and triggers some feeling that they want again. They try it again, the body starts to crave it and the addiction follows even though it is dangerous to the body.

Louis again sums it up by stating that we rationalise the gambling activity in order to indulge in the pleasure of avoidance. We do this with thoughts of lady luck, entitlement and all sorts of nonsense which allow us to ignore the odds. Deep down we know that ignoring the odds is wrong but again its remarkable what this form of mind control is capable of. I remember some crazy feeling that at least I wasnt drinking and was doing something sensible as I could make money. However gambling cleans us out faster than anything. With no food and rent money survival becomes a critical issue yet I gambled again when any money hit my bank account...even if that was money to bail me out from the last round of debts. I used my parents and anything I could think of to fuel the addiction

Deep down I knew what I was doing and I knew it was a mugs game. I think I did but its confusing how your own mind can shred those thoughts to achieve its own ends. I had all sorts of issues going on which took precedence in my ill mind. The power of the mind to control us is immense

So I feel its essential that people try and understand whats going on and reach out for all the help available. I cant say it any better than above because it is about finding some way to make peace with ourselves.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Thanks Louis, Joydivider for your responses and indepth analysis. 'The avoidance of inner pain' - Yes I believe I can identify with that. Not that I had a bad childhood or terrible things happen to me. But I am a loner. I prefer it that way - not having to deal with all the annoying people, or conflicts, arguements and awkward situations. Gambling was definately an escape for me. But also, when I think back - The buzz that I endulged in at the age of 14 playing 'Space Invaders', 'Astroids' and 'Packman' in the amusement arcade for hours on end, is not so unlike playing fruit machines or, dare I say it FOBT's, but without the heavy financial burden. The fast pace action, bonus points and unique attention grabbing, high pitch sound alerts.

As always I am keen to learn more about causes and effects of gambling as I know that it won't ever truely go away from within my thoughts - it's in my blood, my head, my heart.

To be honest I had generally expected a condescending response to my post. Such as: 'You've just got to leave it all in the past. The money has gone. Move forward...Or perhaps: C.G's don't rationalise or consider the consequences. It's all about the buzz - not about the money.

So I'm still trying to get my head round it. - What stops me from going out tomorrow for a bet is knowledge, case history and pain.

Hi Change, many thanks for popping by my diary....I think I am just going through a low spot personally but know gambling is the worse thing I can turn to. I don't want to be stuck in that cycle and it'S the memories of the awful feelings that keeps me on the right road, here's to a GF future and leaving gambling as a distant memory S:)

Awesome post and great responses. I seem to be in complaceny mode and have been thinking a lot about having a bet some day despite knowing all the pitfalls. I feel terrible just looking towards a bookmakers and yet I still think gambling will get me out of trouble. Sigh. Anyway thanks, I might read this again next time I have the thought of gambling.