A slip.

Cw

Hi, yes I believe it profoundly true that only us the compulsive gambler can arrest that next compelling devastating punt.

But take heart from putting those financial blocks in place, because they are protection for you and in the big picture that matters a great deal, the honourable pangolin has done just that, it's the right thing to do.

Regards sponsor's within GA,the simple explanation is a member of the group mentor's another member to work through the recovery programme, an additional thing that often happens,in my view mainly because in the two hour meeting only a fraction of time can be committed to each member and being sponsored by a fellow member can offer further enrichment to recovery.

This is not compulsory and many folk find enough support in the room itself.

Remorse came for me through the process of recovery, truthfully feeding gambling addiction made me a truly awful person, for twenty years progressively I simply committed to it before everything else.

Recovery breeds honesty and I hope in time you will find it to.

Please don't worry, live recovery for yourself, that is vitally important because you are again another innocent victim of this addiction.

Regards Duncan.

Pangolin sorry to hijack your thread.

CW I think ga is enough, it has such a profound effect on Mr P so quickly, I think he had felt alone too and a fellowship of people who really understood helped him. I am not sure that a counsellor would have had the same effect, I'm not sure he would be as honest as he has been with ga when speaking one to one, ga do get to the point. I thought for a few days about whether to post, precisely because I knew that this slip in my confident happy story of recovery would worry people, but I opted instead for honesty, for sharing what the experience is actually like for better or worse, his slip seems to have been a matter of hours before he pulled himself together, and I am leaning towards it being a good thing now, another nail in the coffin for complacency. Hopefully what I have to share over the coming weeks will be positive and we can all feel a little less terrified when and if our partners slip. The gam anon advice, straight to the point as ever, quickly reminded me this is not my fault, I don't have to fix it, I don't have to think anything, I can base my response on how he puts it right and move on on my own terms again.we are going to be ok CW, we're not alone with it anymore.

Duncan, Dan, thankyou so much for your responses, it helps me understand, answers my questions without me feeling the need to interrogate Mr P, gives me some confidence that this is a kick he needed, let's me get on with looking after me and lets us have the peace and quiet I need at home now.

I think that he's ok with drink, ok with poisonous freinds, but not the two together. He doesn't want to drink, he doesn't want the poisonous friend showing up again, so he doesn't think either is worth the risk just now. His GA attendance had fallen away a few times lately, legitimate reasons of working late, but when he was first attending, he would make sure he got there whatever happened, he's realised how important it is again. I haven't asked for anything, I waited to see what he would do, but it's ok by me so far, a few days on and I'm feeling alright, which I didn't expect, probably because my safeguards worked, still changed all the PIN numbers and did a credit check today just in case though.

So we move forward again, accepting the past without resentment, accepting that his actions were those of some one who has an illness and not taking them personally as if it were a moral decision he made. Deep down I knew this would happen one day, I thought I was prepared, I wasn't quite as well prepared as I thought, but the household finances are unaffected, Mr P has salvaged the emotional situation again and it's ok.

Still talking 😀

Hijack all you want, we're all in it together :-D, I couldn't have answered the sponsor question that well anyway

Hi, Pangolin,

However scary, we have to be honest and of course you were right to share the slip as well as the success. He may have slipped but it seems that hopefully he's not fallen too far and if it makes him less complacent so much the better.

Interesting that you don't view the gambling as a moral decision that he made. My problem is that I do, he lied systematically for over a decade, possibly two and it makes it impossible to forgive at the moment. We are still together, it may even be marginly easier now but I can't say that what he did doesn't matter. And he's ruined the summer for my eldest.

Am hijacking your thread again, sorry.

Take care,

CW

It's not high jacking at all, it's talking about the issues that it raises for us. And yes I have come to the way of thinking, after months with gam anon, that his addiction isn't a reflection on how much he loves us, or what he thinks is the right thing to do, it's something he can't control, it's a mental illness rather than a moral issue. That makes it easier for me to separate things out, to detatch from the gambler and to engage with the man when he reemerged from the gambling. This is an interesting subject to talk through though, hoping the others will chip in with their feelings about this.

Mm...I need to make more effort with GamAnon. There's no local meeting, will have to stop thinking about it and actually go to a not so local meeting.