Blindsided

Hi

i am a cg and you are not a terrible person.  You have been lied to and you can be angry about that.  Your life goals have been put on hold while this revelation unfolds.

It’s actually good to be angry.  If you are too calm and to understanding he may take this as your acceptance of this habit of that could enable him.

What you need is an understanding and clarification as to the extent of the problem You need him to be completely honest now as it is the only way forward and whilst he has told you everything because he has to please look at this as a positive.  You now know the truth.

The fact that he wants to go to GA is great but what is his vice.  There are other things that can help him to Beat this addiction. He can’t install Gamstop on his computer or mobile devices this will help with restricting his online access. He can look to exclude himself from gambling establishments if that is his downfall.

 You need to know that he is serious about wanting to stop this and actually that he is relieved that he has had to tell you rather than he has been forced to tell you and therefore will not take responsibility.  he needs to  earn your trust and if he is willing to do that then obviously the decision is up to you. 

 No one on here will judge you as we have all had to tell our loved ones which has been incredibly difficult for us but equally we have had a number of people with a number of reactions some people have been understanding but maybe to understanding others have left their partner because they do not want their life infected by gambling. Again I stress there is no judgment on here and any decision you take for you and your family is up to you and everyone on here will understand. Can your partner join this forum and perhaps get some advice and speak to other gamblers so he knows he is not alone and find strength from people on here to help him through his next phase.

sarah x

Hi Sarah

Thanks for replying, I really appreciate your time and insight. I haven't been able to speak to him yet, we are currently not speaking although living in the same home which is difficult. Your suggestions are really helpful and I can use what you have said to at least start the conversation with him. 

I don't know much about the issue as I took it personally that our future wasn't enough to stop him from gambling. I know that his problems are online gambling but no more specific than that.

Thanks again for the reply, it truly has helped and I've now got a starting point. I've got a long way to go before I can make any big decisions but at least I can now try and make a start on getting all the information.

Thanks again, I am eternally grateful and feel a little less lost now x