Having a bad day.

My partner is a gambling addict. It all came to a head about a month ago when he gambled all our savings, rent money and then tried to kill himself so it's all very fresh.

Since then he's been doing everything I say - given me his wages to take control of, been to the doctor, started councelling and he seems like he does want to change.

However, he has his good and bad days - his good days it's like he's fine and nothing has happened, and his bad days - like he just mopes around not speaking to me and avoiding me as much as he can. I just give him space on days like that.

But similar to him, I have my good days and bad days. My good days - I can't do enough to support him, make him his favourite dinner, put a film on, do everything I can to make things better. Then my bad days - I just get SO angry at him and want to leave and think how can a person who's supposed to love you do something like this.

Today is a bad day...
I feel like if I didn't have my job, friends, home and life here, I would have left already.
I feel like how can he love me if he's done this to me.
I feel like how can we ever make a relationship work if I can't trust him.
I feel like why is he so miserable with his life? Am I not enough? Why aren't I?
I feel angry at myself because why does he deserve me trying my best to forgive him?
I just feel so so so angry at him and I don't know how not to be.
I know that by tomorrow the anger will have gone again but some days it comes back so strong and some days I just hate him for doing this to me and ruining everything.
On my good days I don't blame him and I know it's a problem for him and I know he's trying his best. I don't want to feel so angry but some days I just really do.