I have been with my partner a little over a year. I have known him for 13 years however so I feel like I have had him in my life forever. We are in our mid 20s and I want to settle down and start a family within the next 5 years.
My boyfriend bets, most days. He bets low value but it feels constant, I have asked him to stop because it makes me uncomfortable and worried for our future. He tells me he doesn’t want to stop and he has nothing to stop for right now, when we have a family and a mortgage he will stop but right now he doesn’t need to.
We’ve argued so much to the point of breakup to which he says he’ll stop, he’ll put limits on and each time I find out he doesn’t stick to the ‘agreement’ and there’s no explanation for it really.
I found out recently that he had also done over 20+ bets in one day…
I’ve asked him and told him if he thinks he has a gambling problem to which he tells me no and if he wanted to stop, he could.
I don’t believe him and I’m struggling to walk away, I wanted a future with this man but I don’t trust him and feel betrayed.
He has money, he has savings so if he had a problem, surely that would all be gone? In his defence, I probably spend more money on myself shopping, makeup etc than he does - he rarely spends money on anything other than betting it seems.
advise please?
Hi I’m assuming this is online gambling. All designed to be addictive, noises, lights, or football etc. starts small and can get out of control,
the point here is that you’re not comfortable. You can’t control him. So you have to decide what you want to do. Can you live with this? How will you feel in 5 years if this continues?
unfortunately everyone is addicted to their phone. They are designed in the same way a slot machine is. Scrolling gives you same feeling.
playing devils advocate here but how do you know how much he’s gambling and if he has the money in his savings etc?
you’re both very young and your life could take a very different direction. You have to decide whether you can live or continue with someone you don’t trust or has habits you don’t like.
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