Hi Change
I feel I just have to say well done, you're obviously trying very hard to stop gambling. I do my best to understand just how incredibly hard this is to do and that every day is challenging to say the least. I know from some of things my son has told me how hard this can be to recover from but Im also told by many people its not impossible if the desire to stop is strong enough.
Unforntunately there are some cg's who are still in denial and dont have that strong desire to get well like my son and often behave very badly towards loved ones. These are the cg's that most of us on the "other side " talk about not someone like you is trying so hard to recover.
Speaking from a Mums point of view if my son ever got to the point where he asked me for help, wether thats taking financial control or helping him put barriers in place or what ever he needed to help him recover Id do it in a heart beat. Please dont under estimate just how much your family would want to help you.
The difference in your behaviour and my sons is a world apart and to be honest hes done somethings that I said Id never forgive him for but if he said "please help me Mum " and if he was genuine about wanting recovery, Id drop everything and do it. Wether its your, Mum, Dad, sibling, partner or anybody else who loves you they will be more than happy to support you and help you if you ask, you dont have to do it on your own.
You said its the non monetary side of things that affect people the most and it is but that doesnt mean we dont love the cg in our lives, all we have ever wanted is for you to be well and happy. You also said that some people in GA have given financial control to someone else, and that it works, I highly recommend you do that. It would mean you dont have to use will power and "test" yourself, if the moneys not there you cant spend it.
You have a very strong desire to recover and when youve had a set back youve got back up and tried again, thats never a failure, failure is when you stop getting back up. I know your memories are filled with gambling but you will make new happy memories, try not to dwell on the past too much its all about making a happier healthier future.
Keep doing what you're doing and talk to your family.
X
Hi as67... thanks for this post. It really means something that you felt it worthy to send me a response. I still need to digest it and come back to you fully but just wanted you to know that I am thankful. Day 19 for me today and on to 20 tomorrow.
Hi, Change,
Hope it's still going well for you. Can I suggest that if you think that handing over financial control will work, then do it? My view is that financial control reassures me, which is invaluable. And to the extent that it can be a nuisance, yes, but far better that than risking more damage from gambling.
Putting your family to the bother of managing your money is the one time you should feel free to be as selfish as you like. Ditto needing the time to attend the GA meetings. Trying to save them from this type of inconvenience is the wrong sort of consideration for them.
Wish you well,
CW
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