Husband has addiction and I’ve left but he’s moved on

Hi,

first post and still in shock and I think denial
my partner of 11 years and husband of 1 year has a serious gambling addiction and his life has unravelled in the space of 12 months.

I can say with some degree of certainty that he did not have a gambling problem for 10 years of our relationship. He has the type of personality that would be prone to it and I have always managed our finances because he wasn’t particularly great with money or organisation so by default all the bills ans mortgage etc came out of my account and he transferred me a set amount every month. That’s been the case for years and he’s never asked to borrow money or not pay his own bills like phone, credit card etc.

Rewind to May last year and he mentioned in passing Forex currency trading, something he’d seen on Instagram. I thought nothing of it whens he said he was going to have a little punt and see what it was about. He said he’s probably put £100 and see what happened. He made no mention of it again and in June a letter came to the house for a pay day loan £3k. I rang him because he works away monday to friday and he admitted he got it to use for forex trading because he’d had a big loss. He promised me it was nothing to worry about and that he had stopped doing it.

i had no reason to doubt him at this point although when he was home on the weekends he was on his phone a lot and seemed stressed. Over the next few months he started smoking heavily and complaining of chest pains and stomach problems.
In October last year it all came to a head when he asked if i would lend him £100” on top of £500 i’d lent him the month before. He told me his wages had been messed up the first time then he told me a complete lie the second time so muxh so that i knew instantly he was still trading. I confronted him and he was really evasive and admitted to owing a bit of money but i knew he was holding back. Turns out after speaking to his family and friends he owed people over £30k and had tAken out multiple payday loans and other loans totalling over £50k that’s without the £1500 disposable income he was using from his wages.

he is in complete denial, telling me he made one wrong trade but was sure he could make it back.

I asked his father to intervene and help and he handed him another £10k to “clear” his debt which my husband obviously then spent on trading.

i asked him to leave the family home on October and said he needed to see what he was doing. 
we have been in daily communication because of our son and he is acting as if there is no problem,until mothers day when i knew something had to give. He has no money, he’s lost at least 3 stone, his teeth are brown from chain smokint and he looks awful.

i told him I wanted us to break away completely from each other because i felt like i was almost enabling him by accepting his denial of the situation. I expected him to fight for me and our son and refuse to let us go but he agrees and said he wanted me to be happy.

the next week he took my son to a park and met up with a woman he had literally just started speaking to the day after i told him i was done and her daughter was there too.

i am absolutely devastated, it feels like a double betrayal. He has caused devastation and hurt and seems to have breezed onto the next without so much as a sorry. I can’t comprehend and  struggling to function. I can’t eat, sleep or move forward because i just can’t make any sense of what’s happened and why.

sorry for the long post…