I'll try and keep this as short as possible, basically my partner has had an issue with gambling on fruit machines for ages. He also wracked up a 500 phone bill which I am sure was by using a betting app but he insists was just on games (even so 500 on games??!!). I confronted him a few weeks ago as we have a baby and a toddle and I just cant afford to keep living like this, plus he continually lies to me about where money has gone and why he's late home from work etc.
So he gave me control of all our money, great a step forward. However, his boss allows him subs from his wages so when he wants he can still get access to money. For the last 3-4 weeks he's been ok but then this morning my card went missing and he withdrew 20 (not a lot but it all mounts up) and claims he "lost" his bus pass money I gave him yesterday.
Then his wages went into his account and he claims it was from a sub from ages ago that he had forgot he even owed.
The thing is I dont believe either thing is true. I think he is lying to me because he knows I am at the end of my tether with money going missing because of him so he is depsertaely trying to make out that he hasnt gambled it but doesnt ealise he is making it ten times worse by lying to me!!
When he admitted he had a problem 3-4 weeks ago i asked him to get help, go to the doctor or GA but he refused saying he could handle it himself.
Well now I am about to kick him out of the house because we are another 80 down this week because of him and I have 2 young children to look after, yet he's claiming none of it is his fault.
What do I do?? Even if he is telling the truth it doesnt change the fact that we are going to be short on our bills yet again for something he has done, whether it was an old sub or not. And just losing 20 is careless. But none of that seems to matter anyway because I just cant bring myself to believe him because he has lied to me so many times before!!
Any words of advice or thoughts? I cant have my children living a life where they cant have bew shoes because daddy keeps "losing" money and getting subs from his wages so what else can I do but kick him out when he wont do anything himself?
Sorry what I meant to say there was his wages went into his account they were 60 down. last week they were 50 down which he claims was for tobacco his boss got him. Over the 6 months he has worked there he has had at least 500 in subs, not to mention any other money he has just tajen from our joint account without telling me
Hi bailey, my (recently ex) partner of 6 years did exactly the same and a lot worse. He said he could deal with it himself but actually did nothing about it. Basically because he was in denial. Still is. He has since been to counselling but has never fully committed and has done nowhere near enough to deal with this terrible, destructive addiction. I think everyone on this site would agree that a CG cannot overcome this on their own & without support, professionalhelp/ counseling but most importantly, total commitment & determination from the Cg to stop & change their lives they willcarry on gambling & ultimately destroy their own
lives, their relationship. In my experience You cannot believe the
word of a CG , the lies they tell are off the scale. Trust your own
instinct. Only you can decide what's best for you but I do kniw
that you will face a miserable, unhappy, stressful life if you
continue a relationship with someone who is not 100%
determined &committed to doing absolutely everything in their
power to stop their desrtuctive behaviour. It took me a long time
to face up to the reality that my partner would never stop whilst
I stayed in the relationship. Have a read of my posts & those
who've replied - from CGs &partners - all giving invaluable advice.
I hope things work out well for you - first &foremost you must
think of yourown wellbeing and that of your children. You &your
family deserve so much better x
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