I don't know where to start....

there are no guarantees it will get better but read a few more posts on here

it doesn't always end badly

He won't admit he's doing it again and I can't tell him that I know he is cos I've been snooping. I don't know which is worse.

The gambling is a lot worse as it will finally drag him down just like the rest of us on here.
Fare enough he may get angry you checked up on him but at the end of the day you must of been worried he was gambling again

I've asked him and he said he isn't. That's clearly a barefaced lie because I know he is. I can't stand the secrets and lies. He's already in debt because of it.

Hi Chigy

I opened my husbands post and found a credit card statement. Asked him about it and he still looked me in the eye and denied it. Took me about 3 times of repeating myself before he cracked. Still lying to me now though 3 months later. It's the lies that hurt the most.

Hi Katiecola,

Yes it is the lies that hurt most, that's when all trust goes. I don't know what to do.

No me neither! Like everyone says on here - you can't help them till they want to help themselves. Trouble is that's fine if it's only them that is being effected but when they are part of a family we just have to live with it. My husband is literally destroying us all- including himself. And every attempt I make gets chucked right back. It makes life intolerable. Sorry- not much help!

I had a look in "success stories" there's not many there so that doesn't give me much hope either.

Even if he admitted it and said he wanted help I don't think I want to control his finances etc... I want to be his partner not his mother. I don't want to be checking up on what he does or doesn't do. I think once the trust has gone there's no going back is there?

I feel just as bad as him cos I'm secretly posting on here and looking things up about gambling. What a mess.

I am addicted to this place! Thing is it should be my husband who is on here - not me. Know what you mean about being like a mother. I would a husband to care for me, support me, but I have a third child instead.

We shouldn't be here at all, we are missing a normal life because someone else has no control nor has any respect for us. I'm getting angry now lol

I've been in angry mode for a while and it's hard to shift. I'm trapped cos I'm married and have children and his massive debt makes it impossible to split up- we both work full time.

I'm not married to him, been together a little over 2 years (we are both in our 40's) he moved in last year but just gives me board money, I work part time and pay ALL the bills, he works full time. We booked a holiday from my meagre savings and I think it's bad that I'm scrimping and saving for that while he is wasting money.

I feel like I'm being really negative. There are couples that make it work. But like you say you don't want to go down the line of checking up on him constantly. It's really hard isn't it?