I've recently found out about my partners gambling addiction, everything was in arrears rent, council tax the lot, I was in massive shock but due to the urgency of getting everything up to date or risk being kicked out I concentrated on paying everything off, my partner now has all his wages go into my account and all the debts are paid but, he's 'slipped' up twice now and I'm stuck on what safeguards I can put in place to make sure I know anything he gets up to, he's agreed to let me see his credit file every month and give me full financial control but I'm still terrified is this enough? Is there other ways he can gamble? should I walk away now? He says he's going to get help and I want to believe him he says he's gone from gambling everything he has to just the two times where it was small amounts and I should see this as progress and I see the logic in what he's saying it is an improvement but I can't help but feel worried
Baffled;
I am a problem gambler. When I came clean to my wife I left myself doors open to gamble - I don't remember if I was calculating in this or if it was a sub-conscious thing. Whatever it is he gambles on, close those doors. If it's the bookies or casino ask him to self exclude - it's a slip of paper and a photograph and job done - One more door closed, one temptation removed.
I had a few "slips" on my road to recovery the first time around (2012), they can happen, but if he's still gambling then it's not really progress. I fooled myself into thinking small amounts were harmless too.
Thank you both for replying, your both right in what you say, he's contacted a cognitive behavioural therapist today so hopefully he will get the help he needs, I'll look into the alerts and blocking his phone but feel like there's only so much I can do the rest needs to come from him, I just need to figure out how to stop feeling resentful and start to move on?
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