It isn't just the money, it's the lies. Being able to look me in the eye and lie , over and over again.
Over the last 10 years,my partner has spent over 600k gambling. She works very hard, but has spent all our money. I am older and I have no pension, no security and little future. She also drinks too much.
I know I have paid our bills,cleared her debts many times and hoped for a new start but tonight,here we are again. She tells me how much she loves me, she cries but it seems she doesn''t love me more than gambling.
Our work and personal life are very intertwined and almost impossible to untangle. So I'll get the tissues, sort out the latest mess and try to a make the most of the good days - which can be really good.
Good morning
Saw your post and had to reply if I did nothing else today
The reason?
For every word you have written I have lived
I've been married to a CG gambler and liar for 15 years. 2 months ago the final straw was delivered to me and it broke the camels back
I finally realised that everyone around me was right and I'd spent years in the wrong
I could not fix him
I could not make the gambling and lies go away
Yes the money lost is pretty tough to take but it was the bare faced lies told to me over the phone and to my face
The last one was him stood there with a bank statement in his hand telling me it was his CRB check from work. I could clearly see the telephone banking details on the back - he could have almost have me believing what I could see was wrong.
All I can say to you honestly is while you are the one that's mopping up the tears clearing up the debts and making everything ok, you are the one that's letting a CG get away with it with no real consequence just for them to do it again
This advice fell on my deaf ears year after year. One day you will see just as I did that everyone who cares around you is right but you have to get to that place on your own.
We can only hope that the CG gets to their rock bottom before you get to yours
Sounds quite harsh but it really is survival of the fittest.
You both need recovery. Who needs it more? Who wants it more?
Shelly
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