My huge disappointment

Best way to walk. Headphones in and just breathe in the fresh air.

Yeah I’m doing pretty good. Had a normal day today and just keep moving forward.

Oooo where are you off to?

I was debating flying into Brussels and renting a car for a week. Drive to Antwerp, then Amsterdam, Cologne and Luxembourg arriving back in Brussels. Just something to do isn’t it and learn about somewhere new.

Adventure is out there! 🙂

CJ.

Hi CJ, how are you today? Hope you’re very well. I find walking very therapeutic alright... some good tunes and off I trot!!

I’m heading to Lanzarote for a week... I’m just going to be totally lazy... find a sunbed with my name on it,... lots of reading material... bliss! I’m going on my own... so I’ll be able to do what I want... whenever I want... at whatever time! I like my own company even though I’m pretty sociable too.

Wow... that sounds like a really fantastic trip... they are fabulous places to visit. I was in Amsterdam only for a short time and I’d love to go back. Brussels is supposed to be beautiful. That sounds like a great plan. Traveling is a fantastic thing to do. I love city breaks I must say as you can pack in so much.

I’m so glad you’re doing great and well done. Weather is amazing here so another long walk will be on the cards later on... hope you have a great day

Hi Maria,

I’ve done trips with and without people so I hear you doing what you want to do when you want to.

I grew up in Australia so always been very cautious of the sun. Not really one for sitting still. I remember mum saying whilst I grew up that I had ants in my pants so I guess that’s why haha

Im sure you’ll have a good break and just think about Maria for a bit.

CJ.

Hi CJ

That’s gas... I just left a message on your page! So you’re an Ozzie... you must miss the nice weather:). I’ve been to Oz twice and I loved it. It was mainly around Brisbane that I visited as I used to have an aunt there. I found the fruit and fish amazing!

When I head off I will think about Maria but I’ve decided too not to dwell too much on what happened... it’s done and time to look forward. Our past does not dictate how our future will be. And making positive changes and not beating ourselves up about the past is the way forward.

Well done on achieving day 19

Hey Maria. Sad to have read your story and sadder that we have it in us, those with this awful addiction, to do such damage... I truly hope you rebuild a good relationship with someone gf, you sounded like a real rock of support and full of compassion and kindness.. 🙂 don’t lose that! Good luck xxx Kaz

Thank you Kaz, that means a lot. I’m not long on the site and I have gotten lots of support from everyone. I also know that perhaps he truly took advantage. I know he is probably still in gambling la la land so I’m determined to move on and get on with my life. Of course, I’m hurt but there’s no point in staying in that rut. He has said he has a problem but his actions have said he is doing nothing about the problem. I so admire everyone I have met here because I see how people are trying their best to be gf. And I’m determined this situation will not change the person that I am. I may be a bit more wary in the future but I will still be the warm, kind and genuine woman that I am.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I wish you all the best. One day at a time. Sending you all of my best.

You are very welcome Maria. This site has been a godsend ... to see I’m not alone with my cravings, not alone with trying to resist and put blocks in place, makes me feel I can handle things a lot better. I thought I could control it all myself without any support or blockers - I did for many years and then bam!! Out of the blue you’re sucked back in again... it will always be with me and I have to know how to deal with those times. From the sound of it your Ex may not be ready to give up and will go on destructing his own life, as well as those around him. Sad and a shame you couldn’t reach out and help. Do keep in touch and we’ll support each other through .... happy Thursday Kaz xxxx

Kaz, I’m so glad that you’re getting the help you need and are self aware enough to know what you must do to stay gf. My ex was all about words... I love you and I’m sorry... but there was no sign of any actions to give impetus to those words. I think you’re right that he is not ready yet... it will take some more self destructing to maybe reach that place. In the meantime he has lost a good woman and I would have done my best to support him if I had seen any remorse and actions to stop. He was all about excuses that Tenerife has no gambling meetings etc... what a crock... this website is fantastic and he could have started here.

So good to hear from you and I will drop by your page. I will very much keep in touch. Supporting, being supported and talking to people is what it’s all about. You’re doing great and so glad you are. You are on the journey to turn your life around. Happy Thursday Kaz. I hope you have a great day. Xx

Awww thanks for your kind words on my thread Maria, words of encouragement mean a lot xx much appreciated! If you get a chance and want to do read my story, it shows how it can get to everyone, no matter how good, happy, positive or sensible you think you are, once it takes grip you have to work at not letting it kill you - literally in some cases. One things I’m so glad of is I told my kids a few years ago, they’re in their 20’s now and I worry about gambling in this generation. I’m determined to try and make a difference to my life and ensure I protect them as much as I can. Speak soon and roll on day 6 gf for me:)) I’m so pleased with myself! Xxx

How are you Maria?

Not seen you about for a few days. Hope you are doing ok and not over thinking. 🙂

CJ.

Hi CJ, how are you? Ahh thanks for dropping in. I haven’t been on the forum much over the last few days. I have seen a few posts where partners did not want to tell their Other Halves about their gambling and it really hit a nerve with me! Based on my experience, my CG was a compulsive liar and manipulator. The situation is bad enough without making an active decision to not tell a partner about the addiction. I think that if my CG had told me himself that he was gambling, I definitely would have dealt with the situation much better. And I wouldn’t have lost as much financially either. And I know that it is an emotional problem with financial consequences and the betrayal and deceit exceeds the impact of the financial consequences attached. But I have to suffer now because that money is gone forever. I suppose my situation is very different to a lot of the stories here in that my finances were not connected to his. But I have been dwelling on the fact that a significant amount of money was taken from me.

CG’s should always tell their partners about the situation as partners feel betrayed enough without more lies and deceit being added to the pot. That causes anxiety and worry for the CG and if the partner does happen to find out... it is a much worse situation.

Anyway I’m doing much better today. I’m remembering what you said to me before.... if I had stayed in the situation my position and me would have deteriorated much further. I know the CG in my life is still in gambling la la land.

I have had a look at the story you are writing too... it’s great fun and I’m really enjoying it!!

Well done on what you have achieved so far CJ. You’re such a positive influence and that will keep me coming back to this forum.