Need advice! Call off the wedding ?

I am practically in the exact same boat, except that there is no wedding booked.

I just don't know what to do anymore, which is why I have ended up here. I know "leave him" is the most common option and probably what most will suggest if I even tell any of my family or friends. I genuinely don't want to do that, because like you, I believe he is my soulmate.

It's just the gambling which has gotten out of control in the past year. Its not even like I want him to cut it out 100% because I know it is tough to cut cold turkey. But to have some self-control and just limit.

We don't have financial difficulties, but I am so scared we might end up married and in debt the way he is going...

Just a few months ago when he finally admitted he had was gambling behind my back was due to over 4000 lost in 2 weeks. But it seems like he felt bad for a week, and now has forgotten this, and just pretends it didn't happen....

Hi All

There is no right or wrong answer in your situations. Whats right for one person may not be right for another.

I am a gambling addict. Happily married with a house and hopefully moving next year. I'm lucky cos I have a good job a good wife, family and friends. I couldn't have done it without my wife's support and even though I do relapse I am able to stop before it gets out of control again.

But I wanted to stop desperately and I realised that I wouldn't be able to keep my wife and everything if I didn't stop and sort myself out.

How hard have your respective boyfriends tried to stop? Do they want to stop? Have they admitted the problem to themselves? Have they tried to get help?

The bottom line is that they have a problem and need help, but you have to also be happy too. You can't spend your lives with someone in the hope that they will eventually give up. If you do you could end up resenting them or hating them and that would be no good for any of you.

You have to do whats right for you. And I guess be honest with yourself regarding whether they will give up or even want to.

Follow your head and not your heart.

Just my opinion from someone who knows what its like from a gamblers perspective.

Take care

Craig x

Hey guys,

My fianc is a cg and has been for 5 years. It goes through cycles, normally a 6 month cycle. I find out he's been gambling again, he apologises, is overly loving and goes to support sessions for a month then it's as if it never happened. 6 months later it happens again and I've been through this 4 times now.

Part of me gets annoyed that I stay, but part of me knows this time is different. This time is the first time he's admitted that it's a problem and has said he will do anything to fix it, whereas before it has been me and family members forcing 'fixes' on him.

As others have said there is no right or wrong answer to your question, you have to think logically about it. I wish you the best with whatever you decide, just remember you are not alone in this.

Beth

Hey I just want to add I was in your situation and I went ahead and got married. And left the year after with a new baby. Your priorities will change when you have a baby and it will no longer be acceptable for your spouse to be skint and stealing money. My ex has a new girlfriend now and they seem happy but time will tell. If in doubt just live together and don't have a family. The years will tell their own story!! What's the rush....