Next steps

I think a good start, but I think he needs to go whole hog and go to GA and commit to there program or something similar.

I'm a CG and truthfully took a while to get back on abstinence/ recovery horse. I do believe recovery from this sly addiction is possible and needs complete commitment to both recovery and reconnecting with there family and the world

I wish you well, stick around, plenty of support and advice from others who have been in your shoes.

Look after you

Hi, BiS,

I dealt with self exclusion by snail mail, I found the addresses on the websites and wrote letters that my husband signed, quoting his name, postal and email addresses, date of birth, account numbers and passwords, asking for permanent self exclusion and other than confirmation of this, no further contact by any means. So far we haven't had any. The pennies that were due back to him were credited to his account or via his card, there was no need for him to venture back on the website to attend to withdrawals!

We (my son and I, well, actually my son) installed blocking software on the desktop that my husband uses. All other laptops in the house are password protected and my husband doesn't use them. My son changed the password on the modem so that we would know if my husband wanted to quietly connect an unblocked device (his work unhelpfully gave him one which is not allowed in the house). Blocking smartphones can be problematic so my husband uses a brick.

I have full financial control. He gave me his password and I closed all of his accounts down except for our joint account. The children's (empty) accounts were in his name and these were also closed. I was concerned about the risk of him withdrawing my access, also that a loan might appear in one of his accounts behind my back. The joint account has a minimal balance, I move his salary out promptly, everything else is in my name, I don't share passwords and I input the password each time, the website doesn't remember it for me. The bills are paid from my account. Our joint account has no overdraft and I wrote to the bank to confirm that I do not and will not in the future consent to any overdraft or loan and any future applications should be regarded with suspicion.

I requested credit reports in both names from all three credit agencies, which needed his cooperation. I subscribed to free ongoing checks but their reports are a month behind, so far so good. We also put notices of correction on his credit files to the effect that he doesn't and won't want any more credit.

The house is in my name.

Yet for all of this, if he was minded to gamble again, he would. Nothing's foolproof and there is a permanent need for vigulence. For support, he attends two GA meetings per week and since he refused the Steps, he goes to a Therapist. I go to GamAnon and also to counselling.

It's hard.

CW