My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years .. His gambling addiction is getting worse... I tried helping him as much as I could. I was stupid and lend him a lot of money because I love him and wanted to help him as much as I could .. But the gambling Hasn't changed.. A few months ago he had his car taken away, I found out he was gambling his car payment instead .. He's starting to get violent and angry and starts yelling at me if i don't lend him money to gamble... I want to help him so much I'm crying everyday because I have no one to talk too.... There is a lot more i have to say about this but I'll start from here .. I need advice I really don't want to leave him :/ I been trying to help him the past 4 years I don't want to give up
hello Mzvegas
firstly you are not alone in this. gambling addiction is very serious and there is help out there. my suggestion is to ring gamcare or online support them on the details above which will give you some immediate support
well done for posting
tri
Hi Mzvegas89,
Welcome to the forum, and well done for posting here.
It’s not an easy life trying to live with someone who is constantly gambling, and is not ready to do anything about his addiction problem for 4 good years.
I know you gave him a lot of money because you care about him and you want to help and support him but, that is not the actual help that he requires - you must try and encourage him to contact us.
Providing him with more money is rather going to feed his gambling habits. What you can do differently to help and support him is to provide him with necessities like food and shelter, and perhaps put credits on his oyster card so he can travel to work and back; never hand him cash. Any additional money you give him is likely to be used in gambling.
You can also discuss with him and take control of all his finances (including all his bank cards); this is to make sure that you pay his other bills for him when his wages/ salary comes into his account. You’ll play this role until such time that he’s well recovered to manage his own finances again.
Above all these, you have to try and encourage him to get in touch with us in the same way as you did. Alternatively, he can contact us via our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our specially trained advisers. An adviser will be able to refer him for 12 sessions of free counselling if that would help him to overcome his gambling addiction.
You can also contact our helpline for the same number of counselling sessions if you think that would help you to cope better with his addiction problems.
At the same time, he can overcome his gambling problem if he’ll take responsibility of his actions, contact us for help and support, and to try and follow the advice on strategies and boundaries that we offer him. It is doable, and he can also do it if he wants to.
My advice for you is to try and look after yourself; physically, mentally, and financially. Do the best you can to avoid his violent behaviour.
Gambling addiction gets worse if you don’t do anything about it, and it can easily get out of control. It’s just like a vicious cycle.
Don’t hesitate to contact us again if you need further help.
Thanks for your post, and please keep posting whenever possible.
Best wishes,
Beatrice
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