Time to let go

Hi Cathy

Thank you for your reply, it means so much to hear from another Mum who knows exactly what this feels like.

A close family member told me recently not to come crying to them "when he does xyz" I asked what would you do in my circumstances and of course it was as simple as throw him out and be done with him. I guess unless you are in our situation you cant really understand what its like.

As is in your family theres less anger in mine too -, dramatically so, and my son is polite and does as he is asked most of the time and the rare times he questions us, its dealt with and we move on. Hes very quiet but now then he'll sit with me for few minutes and talk, could just be about his day or a tv program, small things to anyone else but until recently he had completely shut down and all we saw was aggression or silence. I can see hes trying hard and for once I dont automatically think hes trying to manipulate me, its just a Mum and son talking and I hope it happens a lot more Ive missed "him" so much.

I used to feel that if we could just "fix" him it would all magically get our family back to being happy but of course its not like that. I found it hard to detach myself from him, I was always worrying about the "what ifs", we were so used to living in chaos it was my default. Not any more I live my own life the same as everyone else and deal with things if and when they happen. Its as you say a process for us all.

Thank you

Ann x