Hi all, recently I had told my parents about my gambling addiction and they were not happy in the slightest. A few days have gone by now since I told them and they are still in shock that I would do such a thing. I blew my loan of 1700 in a few weeks and they don’t know what’s going on with me. I have also hide the fact I’ve gambled since I was 19 (21 now) and they think I’m a different person living a dark secret life and they feel like bad parents now. Because my dad earns a decent wage I don’t get a big student loan so my parents fund my food etc and I can’t help but now feel guilty if my parents pay for anything for me. I don’t even want them to buy me xmas presents or anything anymore. They feel the trust is broken atm and I get that, and even tho they said we’ll move on I think it’s still on everyone’s mind. I just need advice cos I’m at uni now and I’m too embarrassed to even go back home and see them because of this and I can’t live like this I’m just so stuck. Any advice?
Hi madoreo007 you have recognised your problem which is great. Now you have to make some changes. The money is gone. Find a GA meeting, speak to someone at your university (gambling is becoming more of a problem with students). Tell your parents to seek advice from gamcare or a gamanon meeting. You all need support and help through this, it can be devastating and continue for the rest of your life if you don't get some help. I'm the wife of a compulsive gambler, so I've experienced this. Try and find a job if you don't already have one, show your parents and yourself that you are trying to change. Sign up to gamstop and put blocks in place. Ask for help to manage your money. Gambling is a choice and unfortunately you have to choose not to participate.
Merry go rounds advice is excellent.
You don’t say what kinds of gambling you do but practical steps should as a minimum be.
1) self exclude online using GAMSTOP
2) self exclude at ALL bookmakers in you area.
3) Attend gamblers anonymous meetings at least once a week (ideally more).
I was in a similar position to you 30 odd years ago - I bitterly regret not stopping then.
You relationship with your parents will heal, it will just take a little time. You recognise your problem, your seem determined to stop, hopefully in a few years you and your parents will look back on it as a bit of youthful stupidity.
The most important thing is that you stop - attending GA meetings will help hugely. You will hear some horrendous stories of how low gambling can drag people but don’t worry it’s not a competition.
I would also try and tell a close friend at University who can be a source of support.
Hi madoreo007,
Well done on seeking help, your parents are hurt naturally as its a bolt out of the blue for them. Its part of being a compulsive gambler, we destroy the trust others have in us. The good news is this can heal once and the trust will return once you are open and honest about tackling this before it really gets out of hand.
Dont avoid your parents, to really tackle this issue you will need all the support you can get. Go to your nearest GA meeting and make it part of you life, speaks to your parents about recovery, be totally honest. Lies, guilt and shame are no use, the addcition feeds off these and you will end back gambling. Be open and honest with yourself and the people in your life and you will turn things around for the better. I wish I had realised my problem when I was your age but I did not, and have spent my working life without anything to show for it.
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