Victims of Victims

Hi

Sadly I understand that adults in my life were victims who transferred their pains fears and frustration's on to people close to them.

The unhealthy people would want to keep every thing in the family a secret behind the fears because of the guilt and shame they carry.

Sadly unhealthy people will try to justify all unhealthy behaviour, and keep those as quiet as they can.

Unhealthy bullies will often pick on emotionally vulnerable people, why because they are not able to speak up for them self. or able to set boundaries.

Unhealthy bullies are often very inept inadequate insecure people who were victims of cruelty and will see them in vulnerable people, and do on to others those things that were done tot hem.

The consequences of my pains were fears I did not understand or fears I would not o could not face on.

I understand that in my recovery I could no protect other people if I could not protect myself.

I understand that in my recovery I could no respect other people if I could not respect myself.

I understand that in my recovery I could no love other people if I could not love myself.

Because of the painful experiences in my life I lived in fear and did not know how to be nurturing affectionate and loving towards other people or myself.

So do I still live in the past, then I am still playing the victim.

I am not healing and moving on.

The secret is to learn from our past not live in it.

To heal the hurt inner child and move on.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham

I completely agree that victims of victims are not understood. It’s like a bi-product of the addiction that isn’t considered. A completely innocent victim with no escape.

It’s hard not to feel angry! It’s hard to manage a way forward and it’s a struggle. 
xxxxx