My name is Mike and I am an addicted gambler who hasn’t bet for some time.
MY BACKGROUND
I don’t remember most of my twenties through gambling. Within minutes my good intentions to have a productive day would go to sh** and I would find myself gambling, back to the cashpoint, gambling again, crying and saying never again, then back at it later chasing my money. Bets got bigger, as did the debts. And the stress.
I was afraid of the post, the telephone, being found out. I lived my life in dark places while in love with the buzz and the flashing lights. A gambling bubble of virtual reality.
That life cost me literally everything - money, friends, relationships, family, respect, dignity, my health and my home. 1% highs and 99% lows, ten years worth of pain. And a compulsive liar, always telling people what they wanted to hear. Unable to look at myself in the mirror.
One of my saddest memories was gambling all my wages on Christmas Eve. I got through hundreds that day, and ended up getting my Christmas ‘presents’ from a corner shop at 11pm with the last fiver. Four people’s presents for £5.
But I thankfully I got caught “borrowing” from my employer, was arrested and done for theft. Crown court with a jury, and my mother in the dock. My secret was out. In the papers. I had no choice but to get help (GA) and start doing things different.
After all, doing the same things again & again but expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity.
START OF A NEW LIFE
When I was gambling I was always looking for the shortcut, the quick win, the easy way. But being caught I found myself in debt, and unemployable with a theft conviction.
So I started an IT business (despite not even being able to turn a PC on, let alone do anything useful with it). I got an old PC on finance - girlfriend, now wife, helped - and a free desk from a skip, and taught myself how to send emails and write word docs. Then I taught myself how to program & do graphic design, all from books. It wasn’t easy and believe me I wasn’t great at it, but since then my work has taken me all over the world and I’ve been an employer too. For a quarter of a century now I have slowly carved out a better life, one day at a time.
The other day I added up my earnings since I stopped gambling, and have averaged £70k a year for 25yrs. So ironically I’ve earned close to £2million by NOT gambling - go figure. I’ve actually had a brilliant lifestyle... by staying away from gambling.
And on that journey I’ve had the privilege to listen to + help steer hundreds of other gamblers & their families back on track. I’ve been into prisons to visit gamblers and setup meetings for them inside. I’ve done TV for popular daytime shows and given talks in schools. I’ve setup helplines for gamblers and started self-help groups.
Most importantly of all I learnt that helping other people recover helps my own recovery, so for me it’s a Win-Win.
THE GROWING GAMBLING PROBLEM
Still the gambling problem continues to get worse and worse, as evidenced by Gamcare’s stats. There are around 600,000 people EACH YEAR that reach out to Gamcare for help.
And that’s just the people that ask for help - the actual number of problem gamblers is probably x5 times that ? 3 MILLION people addicted to gambling, ruining their own lives and destroying the lives of those around them. Existing not living. A slow subtle deterioration that suddenly accelerates like a car speeding toward a brick wall.
So I have decided that I am going to do something about it, and am starting to get actively involved in the gambling industry to see if I can help sort the problem from the other side of the fence - watch this space.
HELP & GUIDANCE
For me staying off gambling was an hour-by-hour thing to start with, but it gets easier if you’ve got things setup right (especially to protect yourself when your mind goes back on gambling autopilot).
If anyone here needs my help or has any questions about how to get off Gambling, what to do or what not do, then please do not hesitate to ask.
If you need any advice by all means post under this thread. You can also get me on Twitter @GamblerHelp
Even if you don’t need help, say hello anyway 🙂
Best,
Mike
PS. I tried to join this forum about a month ago, but my first post was deleted and my account along with it because I had written a gambling addiction blog and included a link to it. Apologies - I did not realise that you were not allowed to do that.
But, after taking it up further with Gamcare management, they allowed me back in but told me that they may censor my posts. We are all supposed to be on the same side here, i.e. to help problem gamblers, so hopefully they won’t have much to censor!
Wow a real inspiration. Loved reading your story. Turned your whole life around. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Well done for turning your life around and for taking the time to encourage others to do the same! I never realised so many people were addicted to gamble especially as when your caught up in it you feel so lonely like nobody else in the world could be as stupid to do what you are doing, love reading other peoples stories it's being a massive help to me so thanks for sharing!
Just like to echo what the others have said, great post. Thanks for sharing your story, admire your honesty and your desire to help others.
Your post demonstrates that hard as it may be sometimes the best thing that can happen is when our gambling secret is out in the open. It makes us accountable for our actions. I have not yet been able to reveal how bad my addiction has become to close family members. I realise this is not helping my recovery, but I feel too ashamed .
Great tip ............. there's no shame in admitting that sometimes when those gambling demons are torturing us we need to adopt a 'one hour at a time' approach .
Your post is truly inspirational because it highlights the fact that however bad things get, we have the strength within us to overcome this addiction and go on to be the successful people we were intended to be.
Congratulations on turning your life around, sincerely wishing you continued success.
Thanks Mike for your inspiring post and insight into the world of gambling. Not sure if your credibility maybe a little diluted given that you are offering your services to the gambling industry to advise on "Problem Gamblers" as many of there policies has been to further encourage problem gambling. Although I am very happy that you have turned your life around and to hear it is very inspiring.
Can you advise how you went about avoiding gambling to overcome your compulsion?
GamblerHelp wrote:
My name is Mike and I am an addicted gambler who hasn’t bet for some time.
MY BACKGROUND
I don’t remember most of my twenties through gambling. Within minutes my good intentions to have a productive day would go to sh** and I would find myself gambling, back to the cashpoint, gambling again, crying and saying never again, then back at it later chasing my money. Bets got bigger, as did the debts. And the stress.
I was afraid of the post, the telephone, being found out. I lived my life in dark places while in love with the buzz and the flashing lights. A gambling bubble of virtual reality.
That life cost me literally everything - money, friends, relationships, family, respect, dignity, my health and my home. 1% highs and 99% lows, ten years worth of pain. And a compulsive liar, always telling people what they wanted to hear. Unable to look at myself in the mirror.
One of my saddest memories was gambling all my wages on Christmas Eve. I got through hundreds that day, and ended up getting my Christmas ‘presents’ from a corner shop at 11pm with the last fiver. Four people’s presents for £5.
But I thankfully I got caught “borrowing” from my employer, was arrested and done for theft. Crown court with a jury, and my mother in the dock. My secret was out. In the papers. I had no choice but to get help (GA) and start doing things different.
After all, doing the same things again & again but expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity.
START OF A NEW LIFE
When I was gambling I was always looking for the shortcut, the quick win, the easy way. But being caught I found myself in debt, and unemployable with a theft conviction.
So I started an IT business (despite not even being able to turn a PC on, let alone do anything useful with it). I got an old PC on finance - girlfriend, now wife, helped - and a free desk from a skip, and taught myself how to send emails and write word docs. Then I taught myself how to program & do graphic design, all from books. It wasn’t easy and believe me I wasn’t great at it, but since then my work has taken me all over the world and I’ve been an employer too. For a quarter of a century now I have slowly carved out a better life, one day at a time.
The other day I added up my earnings since I stopped gambling, and have averaged £70k a year for 25yrs. So ironically I’ve earned close to £2million by NOT gambling - go figure. I’ve actually had a brilliant lifestyle... by staying away from gambling.
And on that journey I’ve had the privilege to listen to + help steer hundreds of other gamblers & their families back on track. I’ve been into prisons to visit gamblers and setup meetings for them inside. I’ve done TV for popular daytime shows and given talks in schools. I’ve setup helplines for gamblers and started self-help groups.
Most importantly of all I learnt that helping other people recover helps my own recovery, so for me it’s a Win-Win.
THE GROWING GAMBLING PROBLEM
Still the gambling problem continues to get worse and worse, as evidenced by Gamcare’s stats. There are around 600,000 people EACH YEAR that reach out to Gamcare for help.
And that’s just the people that ask for help - the actual number of problem gamblers is probably x5 times that? 3 MILLION people addicted to gambling, ruining their own lives and destroying the lives of those around them. Existing not living. A slow subtle deterioration that suddenly accelerates like a car speeding toward a brick wall.
So I have decided that I am going to do something about it, and am starting to get actively involved in the gambling industry to see if I can help sort the problem from the other side of the fence - watch this space.
HELP & GUIDANCE
For me staying off gambling was an hour-by-hour thing to start with, but it gets easier if you’ve got things setup right (especially to protect yourself when your mind goes back on gambling autopilot).
If anyone here needs my help or has any questions about how to get off Gambling, what to do or what not do, then please do not hesitate to ask.
If you need any advice by all means post under this thread. You can also get me on Twitter @GamblerHelp
Even if you don’t need help, say hello anyway 🙂
Best,
Mike
PS. I tried to join this forum about a month ago, but my first post was deleted and my account along with it because I had written a gambling addiction blog and included a link to it. Apologies - I did not realise that you were not allowed to do that.
But, after taking it up further with Gamcare management, they allowed me back in but told me that they may censor my posts. We are all supposed to be on the same side here, i.e. to help problem gamblers, so hopefully they won’t have much to censor!
Hi Mike..just had a mooch about on youre site. ..
Very informative and helpfull. .
THANKYOU for sharing you're story....and massive respect to you for achieving so much..
I'm around 650 days free from being ruled by online slots. ..
Was such a hard fight in the beginning....but stronger now and understand much more about my addiction....life's normal now...and even on the days life chucks P**P at me. ...I deal with it...and don't run to an online slot site. ...
Wishing you well
Hi Problem Gambler,
ProblemGambler wrote:
Not sure if your credibility maybe a little diluted given that you are offering your services to the gambling industry to advise on "Problem Gamblers" as many of there policies has been to further encourage problem gambling.
Can you advise how you went about avoiding gambling to overcome your compulsion?
Not quite sure where you got the idea that I offer my services to the gambling industry?? Not so. I only help gamblers and I do so for free.
regards
Mike
Gamcare removed the link I posted in answer to your question ‘what do I do’
But to read it click on my name, follow the link to my addiction blog, and read the piece in the center entitled “Recovery Strategy - Staying off gambling one day at a time”.
GamblerHelp wrote:
Hi Problem Gambler,
[quote=ProblemGambler]
Not sure if your credibility maybe a little diluted given that you are offering your services to the gambling industry to advise on "Problem Gamblers" as many of there policies has been to further encourage problem gambling.
Can you advise how you went about avoiding gambling to overcome your compulsion?
Not quite sure where you got the idea that I offer my services to the gambling industry?? Not so. I only help gamblers and I do so for free.
regards
Mike
" So I have decided that I am going to do something about it, and am starting to get actively involved in the gambling industry to see if I can help sort the problem from the other side of the fence - watch this space."
Hi Mike, I refer to the quote above you made. I may have misinterpreted what you said and appreciate that you have turned your life around for the better.
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