I am 3 days clean from gambling I don't want to gamble anymore and I didn't want to gamble for about last 5 years when gambling went out of control and I self excluded myself from all the venues in my area.However I still gambled.If I am thinking about it now I clearly process it how crazy I was.I use to travel on train to London 450 miles from where I live to waste thousands of pounds in bookies and come back home devastated without a penny.Did do it few times.
Self excluded myself from casinos too traveled to distant cities to play slots
That was final straw of my gambling.I released I am emotionally damaged and that's why I gambled but who isn't damaged in some way.We all are.I always use to blame others for my gambling problem especially my dead father who use to be pathological gambler and heavy alcoholic.It is not his fault that I went same path like he did.
I do not drink alcohol never ever though that's something.
Only obsessions I did have was gambling.
Planning not to gamble ever again in my life.
Not even small bet not even occasional bet because when I do I cannot stop.I spend food money all spare cash and borrow each month 1000+ pounds just to get throught the month.When I get paid I pay back whatever I owe and that leaves me with nothing.So cycle repeats.Been living like that for over 3 years.Enough is enough.I do not enjoy gambling anymore and I don't really even know if I ever enjoyed it.
Dear Johhnyuk
Thank you for sharing.
A very insightful post. You helpfully describe that you can see the patterns and cycles that have happened previously and you do not want to maintain them. You also highlight how for some people moderation with some activities (like gambling or exercise) or substances (like food or alcohol) does not come ‘naturally’ and a small amount tends to escalate.
Well done for 3 days gambling-free again. I can hear the strong intention to stay gambling-free in your words. Hopefully you will have some kind peer support posts in reply and acknowledgement. Sometimes the biggest motivator is not the end goal per se but not wanting to feel like we do when we are stuck in the cycles ever again.
Best Wishes in your recovery journey,
Louise
Forum Admin
Day 5 today.Stopping gambling is not that hard,thinking about the debts that we have its more difficult.But this time i am determined that i won't look for an answer to debts in gambling.
That would make situation 100 times worst.Stay calm and focus on your goals.
Will update my progress every few days
Day 6 today.
Feel mentally different today,lots of anxiety but that's reason of withdrawal symptoms I believe.
Let's make day 7 tomorrow:)
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