Day one. Any tips appreciated please.

Hi David,

I'm sorry you are facing this. I am also a compulsive gambler, my addiction started over twenty years ago, I've had a few brief gamble free spells and many periods of desperation and promises to myself and it is not easy by any stretch. 

I'm doing ok at the moment, 921 days since my last gamble. I am not an expert by any means, I still spend some time at least every other day reading stories on here, just don't post very often now.  My addiction is a result of my choices. Every time I gambled it was a choice I made, so many times I convinced myself I had no other option, of course I did but I couldn't see that. 

A couple of things I know are helping me at the moment:

I asked for help

I admitted that I had lost. the bookies beat me.

On paper I had a big win, only I didn't because I lost it all and more, that told me that it didn't matter how much I won, I would never actually win.  It is very painful but in hindsight I'm glad I went through that, it was a lesson worth learning.

I had to focus on me, not others, I gambled 'for others' only I wasn't it was all about me, I just used my thoughts about treating others better as an excuse to gamble.

In the two years since I last gambled, I have been more open, more transparent than I was for years before, I caused myself and others emotional and financial damage. I can't change that now, I can only try and be a better person in future

I still need help

anyway I fear I ramble, just one final thing - get rid of the title, 3rd time lucky - it's not about luck, it's about choice.

I am a compulsive gambler, for today I will choose to not gamble

best wishes

Thank you @compulsive-gambler. Firstly congratulations on 921 GF, that’s a huge achievement and something I could only dream of at the moment. Today will be my first full day gamble free, hopefully. Well I don’t really have the money so my real test will be on payday, Friday. Your thoughts are very similar to mine at the moment, I just keep thinking to myself, will I ever win? Because even if I do win, I gamble it all back and I’m back to square one. So what is the point? 
I’ll change the title now! No luck is involved your correct, only I can sort this out myself, thank you for the advice and good luck! 

David. 

i think a lot of recovery from gambling addiction is acceptance

accepting you cant beat a system designed to take every penny from you

accepting you will become zombified if you gamble

accepting you will forever be in debt if you gamble

accepting you have been an idiot

its taken me 10 years to get to this point and probably around 25 grand in losses

10 years wasted really

That’s a good point by compulsive gambler. I had to admit the casinos beat me and accepted the fact I’d never win it back and joined gam stop and sense. It took many years to admit defeat but after hearing how much money the ceo of bet 365 make as a salary it amplifies the fact these gambling companies aren’t losing! We just have to let it go.

Hi David,

Thank you for your post to the Forum; and well done on everything you've achieved so far. It isn't easy to come back from a previous unsuccessful attempt of stopping gambling; but you sound like you are in a different place to where you once were and determined that this will the time you will take control for good.

It sounds like you've taken some really positive steps already, registering with Gam Stop is an excellent starting point. Pay Day seems to be a particular concern which I can understand; will you be tempted with easy access to your incoming wages? Perhaps it could be worth considering how you might restrict your access to the money in your account once you are paid. You could for example ask someone close to you to look after your finances for a while, or alternatively you could look in to one of the bank accounts now available that will block card based gambling transactions. Not every bank offers this facility at the moment, but the ones that we know of that do are two online banks, Monzo and Starling and also Barclays have recently introduced this option across their accounts. 

If you'd like any further advice or support from one of our advisers, please do call the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or contact the netline any time, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.

Wishing you all the very best,

Forum Admin 

Thank you for the comments everyone. Today I have taken the relevant steps to exclude myself from all forms of gambling which is a huge relief. I’m going to log my daily progress in this thread as it will keep me motivated to stay away. Hope you are all here to help me along this journey to a gamble free life! I have also set up a DMP with stepchange, so 7 months from now I should be debt free and hopefully still gamble free. 

Have a great day everybody.

David.

Day three. Positive signs. Today I sold a few odd things I had left lying around the house which I didn’t really need. Made just under £100, first time I’ve held that kind of money in a long time as it’s usually deposited and lost straight away on gambling. The temptation to go place a bet was there, but I managed to stay away. Instead I bought a small gift for my girlfriend as tomorrow we celebrate 3 years together. I feel so much better spending my money on something that matters instead of wasting it in the space of 10 minutes.

Best wishes everyone. 
David

Day 8. Despite being paid I’ve had no thoughts about gambling and have actually managed to save some of my money this week. Good early signs but I’ve got a long way to go yet. 

Have a good day everyone.

David.

Hey David.

Congratulations on keeping it up past your payday. I hope you continue logging in and staying strong. Wishing you all the best.