I'm in a bad situation...
I'll be 28 this year and I have no qualifications apart from GCSE's, something like £3-4k of debt to my landlord (somehow not been kicked out yet more about that later) and the love of my life is thinking of leaving me.
I started match betting in 2022 and within 2 years my life has been turned upside down. I started with a few sports and casino offers and was making some supplementary income whilst working but eventually like many others, begun spinning online slot bets at increasingly risky numbers. It eventually led to me winning , and I bought some music gear (I'm a guitarist) which I was stoked about finally having something decent to play and had prospects to be in a band and enjoying the latter half of my 20s - not gonna happen now. Subsequently, in the haze of my addiction, I kept spending my monthly wages trying to win big money and got into rent arrears and even lost my job due to the stress, which spiraled into a depression. I worked on and off but mainly off due to the depression... I sold all my possessions trying to pay rent and would never win again. I would bet a months wages - 1700 or so depending on if I had a job at the time, 750 or so when I was on Universal Credit. I would then rely on my amazing partner who I met just before this whole situation. She is my rock and I don't know what I would do without her. Losing her is going to kill me - literally. I will probably do something drastic if she leaves me...
At 6 months ago I owed approx £3000 of rent. This is very dire and leaves me with a feeling of huge regret and guilt but honestly, it was salvageable, as my landlord was willing to negotiate a payment plan but, still I was addicted to gambling and he wants an answer as to why I cant pay. I cant say I gamble, so I just keep saying work has let me go again because agency work is sporadic and not very reliable. 3 months ago I owed approx £2500 of rent as I found a job I liked that payed enough. They let me go due to hiring too many staff... Haven't been able to find work since, so now I'm close to £4000 in debt because, surprise surprise, I've been gambling Universal Credit payment to try and win back some losses. He just came to my house unannounced after me not answering calls, due to assuming he was going to send me eviction notice. Basically, I've been waiting for the inevitable to happen whilst desperately searching for a job to no avail. He's at the end of his tether and claims I owe 10 MONTHS of rent, which I doubt to be honest, I assume it is more like 6 or 7 but perhaps I lost track in my stupidity and depression...
I can't take the guilt and stress any more. I activated card blocks to my bank accounts, as well as GAMSTOP and vow to never gamble again. So, at least I've taken the first step. I have to find work that pays well enough to sort this out in as short a time as possible, so that maybe I won't be evicted and that maybe my partner can forgive me and trust me again. I'm very lucky my landlord is so unbelievably lenient with this situation, as I should have been kicked out already. I am very worried for my life and the next steps...
My current goal is
1- find any work no matter what
2- find better work that pays well and is stable
3- try to get financial aid but that is difficult because I cant get a loan due to bad credit...
4- look for alternative legal ways to make money - I thought about selling my music equipment but its the only thing keeping me sane right now and only worth about £1000, perhaps I can make money with it in the future too as I'm trying to set up online guitar lessons. £20-30 an hour per lesson is a good supplementary income
Advice?
Edit - Is setting up a payment direct to landlord possible from work payment? I wouldn't want to tell a new employer I have a gambling problem and owe at lot of arrears. I was thinking I could also set up a direct debit but I'm worried I'll find a way to get around the gambling restrictions at some point and use the money from a new job before the direct debit goes out...
I'm in a very similar situation, I've just posted too, I'm sorry you are going through this too, I've self excluded today after 5 years hitting the slots hard. I'm lost. I feel I have screwed up everything I suffer from anxiety and depression and it was my escape from my reality
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