Advice

Hi

I have been gamble free for 18 months and can assure you that things will get easier. 6 months is a fantastic achievement, but for me I was still evolving as a non gambling person at your stage. The worse is definitely behind you, as long as you continue along your current path. No one is qualified to tell you what you must and must not do, they can only recount their own experiences and what worked for them. I have been actively involved in GA for some time and a it has taught me that there is no one size fits all solution, otherwise nobody would ever fall off the wagon and find themselves gambling again. Part of my evolution to the person I am now was to fill some of my time with positive, healthy activities. One thing we all have plenty of when we stop gambling is time, as our addiction fills up many, many hours of physical and mental effort. It is a simple thing, but I spend time walking and listening to audio books; I have also taken up rock climbing and a plethora of other interesting pastimes. I am fitter than 20 years ago and far more mentally astute. All of these improvements help to reinforce the feeling that I have done the right thing.

One thing that I would advise is that you consider drawing a line under your past. The past cannot be changed and we are all entitled to make mistakes. Forgive yourself and be excited about the future rather than getting down about what has passed away.

A quick story I heard the other day:

A beggar had been sitting by the road side for over thirty years. A stranger walked by. 'Spare some change?' mumbled the beggar, holding out his hand. 'I have nothing to give you' said the stranger' but what is that you are sitting on?' 'Nothing' replied the beggar 'Just an old box I have been sitting on for as long as I care to remember'. 'Ever looked inside?' asked the stranger. 'No' said the beggar, 'No point, there's nothing in there'. 'Go on, have a look' insisted the stranger. The beggar managed to prise open the lid and to his surprise and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold.

Maybe we all have the riches and enlightenment we seek, we simply have to look inside the box.

Take care

Ken

Hey lastresorts19 I've just read your post.. I wanted to just say.. I think if you accept your loss then put it down to a big mistake then try and use it as a positive!!! You could use it to motivate you, don't ever make that mistake again, don't chase it.. Maybe it had to happen like that to give you a wake up call.. If you chase it I predict only one winner and it won't be you. Be thankful your studying, work harder on your assignments, impress your lecturers by reading more and you will soon feel very good about yourself!! Read around this site.. There's plenty more £ to lose if you carry on gambling...

good luck mate - but start to just accept your mistake!! I read somewhere once.."the greatest mistake a man can make; is to be afraid of making one"

good luck.

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry: two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow with its possible adversities, its blunders, its large promise or poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds - but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This leaves only; one day - TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities - yesterday and tomorrow - that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Hi guys,

Thank you all for replying to this thread, it has given me alot to think about and i'm feeling much better after reading your responses. Sounds silly but It really does help to hear other peoples advice instead of asking family members again, even though the responses are generally the same - put it all behind you, the pain wont last forever etc. I've had trouble drawing the line for a while and have had several relapses,but hopefully with the advice recieved i will finally leave whats happened in the past.

Thanks again.

Some people might never get over it entirely but they learn how to deal with it and not let it ruin the rest of their lives. You will learn when you are ready to finally draw a line under it and move on.

Hey Guys,

Unfortunately i have had a massive relapse, lost XXX in a high street bookies today. I keep kidding myself, your advice has fallen on deaf ears and i'm sick of who i am, i want to change so badly. I want to have a life without gambling and lies.

I feel i have taken some steps. Today i walked out that bookies for the last time, i've finally self excluded, should have done it along time ago. I've also spoken to a gamcare advisor for the first time and it felt great, i have been refered to a counsellor and i am really looking forward to speaking with him/her.

I would advise anyone to contact gamcare if you are feeling upset, depressed ect.

Thanks Gamcare and forum users,

Lastresorts19

Hi lastresorts 19,

I can see on this thread that others on here have given advice and I can't really add much to what has already been posted.

I'm on day 5 of not gambling at present. Only joined the forum on 17th Jan.

It's really been beneficial to me. You too have done the right thing by coming here.

I'll just give you my best wishes.

Cheers

Lastresorts19 wrote:

Hey Guys,

Unfortunately i have had a massive relapse, lost £330 in a high street bookies today. I keep kidding myself, your advice has fallen on deaf ears and i'm sick of who i am, i want to change so badly. I want to have a life without gambling and lies.

I feel i have taken some steps. Today i walked out that bookies for the last time, i've finally self excluded, should have done it along time ago. I've also spoken to a gamcare advisor for the first time and it felt great, i have been refered to a counsellor and i am really looking forward to speaking with him/her.

I would advise anyone to contact gamcare if you are feeling upset, depressed ect.

Thanks Gamcare and forum users,

Lastresorts19

Hi. Your relapse can still be a positive if you use as a reason to finally deal with your problem.

Best of luck with your first counselling meeting.