Guilty when saying no

Hi, can I ask why he is asking for money and what he is wanting to spend it on. When my wife found out about my gambling she took over all our finances and I had no access to any money. Now, nearly 3 years later and still gamble free, I only have a credit card to use when I need anything and my wife is fully aware of any spending  I make. Some may say this is dangerous but for us it works as I cannot use it to deposit to online gambling sites which is how I used to gamble. I never used cash to gamble like going in a bookies so the fact I could withdraw cash (which I wouldn't do) on the card does not bother either of us but may not work for you.

I still don't have access to our bank account, no debit card, and only have £10 in cash in case of emergencies.

All the best

@bladesman Hii, thank you for your reply. He doesn't have access to my bank account but I feel pressured to give him money and I find it very difficult to say no when he insists because he gets really upset. He uses all the money for gambling because he spends all day and all night gambling online next to me and he doesn't accept that he has a problem and he doesn't want to change. I don't know what to do. 

Hello Yoco

Welcome to the Forum where you will find others sharing their experience, strength and hope. 

You will also find support in Gam-Anon

https://www.gam-anon.org   This is a website specifically for friends and families of people who are affected by problem gamblers. There is all manner of support on there for people who are and who have gone through the same experiences and many find this peer-to-peer support incredibly helpful, both for themselves and to be able to help their loved one who is experiencing difficulties with gambling.

We also have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through this difficult time.  You can contact an Adviser by calling our Helpline on 0808 820 133 or using our LiveChat, WhatsApp or Facebook options.  I encourage you to contact us so we can discuss the best way forward for you.

Please no that you are not alone....

Best

Amanda

Forum Admin

Hi, if he doesn't accept he has a problem then, unfortunately he will never change. From what you say I assume he has his own bank account and gambles from that and then asks you for money when he has none left. 

It's a very difficult situation for you but you need to be strong and refuse to give him any money. He needs to accept he has a problem that is affecting your life together before you can move forward. 

Hi 

You are being kind to him.

Untill he values money and him self he can nto trust him self with money.

Let him know when he is vulnerable you are willing to sit talk an listen to him.

Dave L