Hi
Just trying to keep going and struggling big time. My 23 year old son has been gambling for several years. He has stolen money from us. He owes money to his friends and has not told his friend that he has now lost this money to gambling. We have told him that he must tell his friend asap and face the consequences, but he doesn't want to lose this friendship. He wants us to pay the 18k so he can keep friendship. What do you think?
Welcome to the forum, Debbie
Thank you for sharing your experience, it sounds like it has been very tough.
I'm sure you will receive lots of help and advice from others on the forum, but if you would like to chat with an adviser in more detail about your gambling and managing urges, we are available 24/7 on both the helpline, 0808 8020 133, and through our netline chat service.Â
Â
Take Care,
Â
Tommy
Forum Admin
Honestly? Things will never change if you help him out by paying it all, 18k is a lot of money for a young man that age.
I understand as parents you will want to help him, the question needs to be does he want help?Â
If he can't sort the money out and you end up lending it him he needs to adhere to terms and conditions you set out so he is responsible for the loan, I did similar with my parents I had a guarantor loan first and once I proved to them I was responsible paying that then my dad took a lower rate loan out to help me and make things cheaper for me.
It taught me the responsibility to repay what I had lost and made me see how long it would take etc.
Hope this helps
@dcntspo4eg If you pay this debt off all you will do is give him an opportunity and reason to do it again.
Unless there are consequences, and losing friends is one of the consequences of having a serious gambling problem, what is to stop him carrying on?
Chris.
It sounds like he's trying to manipulate you, & must have spun a story about owing a friend 18k unless you know for sure he does. If he's trying to get you to put the 18k into his account to pay to his friend, then that's just money he could lose in a day on a gambling site, it is possible. So no. If not, & you pay his friend direct, you're still bailing him out, Chris is right, listen to him.
Thank you for replies and I am trying to find solutions as I do feel overwhelmed and powerless. Trying to keep myself sane in order to help my son. Thank you everyone. xxx
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
