Back again

Been here quite a few times,first time must be close on 20 years ago,I was really bad then,then seem to get it under control for a few years,then about 7-8 years ago,was back again,not doing anything really destructive,but enough to worry me a little,then my grandchildren was born,got a few of them now,and some rely on me financially,so through myself into work,and was doing really well,they never really wanted for anything,got a holiday every year,but the pressure I put on myself to make sure everyone had what I could give them was a lot,to the point I’d say the last 6 months,I’ve been back online,opening account after account,trying to win more,to give them more,I haven’t really lost a lot of money but I know I’m on a very slippery slope,just lost on slots,which isn’t going to destroy me,but enough enough,I’m a little older and wiser now,so not going to let it get me,for the first time in my life,I’ve just signed up to gamstop,and straight away my accounts are blocked,and feel like I can breath again,the cash can be replaced,the time is lost forever