I think it's been 2 years since I was on here. Nothing has changed, I've had numerous jobs and quit them all after I've thrown my hard work away. I'm never going to give up trying to get that big win. I'm never going to have my own home or children or someone that loves me because I'm a 30 years old child that's always broke. I'm angry, sad, disappointed.. I'm just so fed up and I wish that I could start again. Whenever I have money I stop being logic and rational and I immediately go to gamble. When I don't have money I come up with sensible plans on how to spend but ultimately I never pull the trigger, I ALWAYS have to try make more of whatever I'm paid. It's been over 12 years of this and I don't see an end to it, I need financial help, practical help. I would never kill myself but I don't want to exist..
I remember your posts from years ago at least you sound a bit calmer now
If you take a step back you will realise that its actually the gambling that is your biggest headache
You have no value for your time or money so it's virtually impossible for you to view a job as anything more than a means to gamble
It has broken you , accept it , accept the losses and you can begin to recover
Until you accept defeat the universe will keep on teaching you these lessons
I stopped at 29 and had an 11k hole to dig myself out of. For 6 months i had £14 left a month after food, rent, energy bills and debt repayments. That wasn't accounting for any social expenses or treats, I just couldn't keep down the path I was going and I broke down and opened up to the truth of what I had become. We know what we are doing and we know how to stop but it's only when we are ready to do the necessary that we can bring about the change. I've lost thousands on an evening then gone to work with no sleep to earn £70 and bought myself a meal deal on a credit card for lunch, sat in the park on the verge of tears.
I'm now debt free, am married, baby on the way and a chuck of money towards a house deposit and I've only been stopped 5.5 years. Less than half the time I gambled for!
The only dream that's dead is the gambling one. You've paid 12 years of your life chasing that one, it's not real. Of course you don't like what you have because you aren't working on improving yourself. Once you take control of you things will fall into place.
It's not easy and it's brutal. Gambling can be hidden or brushed off so easy if we don't want them awkward conversations. Talk to people, get it out. Make a plan. Financially I felt like I had to because it was horrendous even after I stopped Gambling. You need to find peace with the slow pace when you stop but life can snowball and opportunities will arise.
I hope you can find the strength and support to do this.
All the best
Hi 1punchjamoo,
Sorry to hear you are struggling with your gambling. It sounds like you are aware that you are missing out on what other people have like owning a house and want to change. You find your good intentions are difficult to follow when you have money which is leaving you feeling fed up.
The National Gambling HelpLine is available on 0808 8020 133 and our 1:1 Livechat are both open 24 hours every day if you would like information, support and signposting to services that can help you.
Best Wishes
Clare
Forum Admin
I am at the start of my journey of quitting for good.
I can understand in what your saying and we all seem to have a different relationship with gambling mine unfortunately is the slot machines since covid they have ruined the fun and hopes of winning but unfortunately I seem to do the same thing loosing all my wages I work my a*s for.
Hopefully we can both kick out habit.
@suckedin yeah I managed to chill out lol. I don't think I'm ready to accept the tens of thousands that I've lost, the people I've lost, the time I've lost, the opportunities I've lost.. not yet. I went to work last night instead of quitting and I'm going to keep pushing forward.
@sjw thank you. It's honestly so nice to hear someone that was in a deeper hole than you has made it out and are thriving. It's so hard to Invision that for myself because I'm still in it but I'm hopeful. I'm trying to stay strong. Once I'm up to date with my bills I know it'll be easier and I can sit down and come up with a plan. Congrats on the baby man.
@mbarker ah then slots, never really gotten into them myself, I'm a roulette man. I hope you're able to stop. I personally want to learn to walk when I'm up because I'm almost always up.. and even when j win thousands I get greedy and lost it all. I know it seems unrealistic to be able to gamble regularly and walk away up but I know it's possible or maybe I'm still just not ready to accept reality yet I don't know
Thank you. I know you have heard what to do a lot on here. I just wanted to tell you it's possible to get out and do well for yourself away from gambling.
You probably don't feel worthy of that better life yet, I know I didn't and also couldn't imagine living it but it's just a case of taking each day and making the right choices. Easier said than done but worth the struggle. Isn't like the gambling life is easy either right?!
I get you pal it's a hard one we've all had that relationship with gambling mine is hitting a good win and play something else but get greedy and keep playing until I'm hundreds down which who can afford to sustain that but I hope whatever you choose to do works for you because only we can change but it also effects others around us which I learnt last night with my dad
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