cleansing myself

Hey ken,

Many people will give advise on here that has worked for them. You need to take bits of this and make it work for you. Have you out the the blocks in place to stop you gambling? Handing over your finances? Set yourself some goals.

Start a diary in the recovery section and commit to it. Really has helped many people on here including me.

Have a good day.

Hanz

Hi Kenny

I feel compelled to reply because not only is my name Ken but I am also 50 something and been a problem gambler for many years. Apologies for pasting a reply I have just typed to Nomad, but I am short of time and besides, I hope that you find some of it relevant. I will endeavour to post again soon. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Part of our human nature is that if something makes us feel good we want to repeat the experience and gambling has the propensity to make us feel good. It is exciting, it challenges us mentally, we can escape from life's problems. The last one gets me the most because for me the paradox of gambling is that by escaping my problems through gambling I, of course, added to them. I think I am pretty clever, I thought I could make money from gambling, but I now understand that long term I am guaranteed to lose. I can be an a****hole when I don't gamble but not a patch on the gambler me.

I haven't had a bet since early June and have no intention of going back. I have new hobbies that interest me and stimulate me. I read a lot and try to understand more about gambling and how it trapped me and traps many others in it's web. This is a huge problem and I believe that this site is just the tip of the iceberg.

I have just read "How not to be a Football Millionaire" by Keith Gillespie of Man Utd and Newcastle fame, and after losing the best part of £7 million through gambling he concludes, without a hint of bitterness: "on Saturdays, I still like to do a football accumulator and maybe a few quid on the golf as well, but it's only small money. I never received any treatment for my betting habit, so I can't describe myself as a reformed gambler. I just grew out of the madness".

It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves but that does not help with the solution. Take a pragmatic approach, accept that you have made an error of judgement, albeit over a very long period of time, dust yourself down and if you need it get help from wherever you can find it. This site, GA, talk to people, read books, ask questions, don't be too proud to ask for assistance. If you can change things in your life that make you a better person, habitual gambling is one of them. The good thing is that after just a short time of not gambling you will notice this for yourself and always look forward, never back.

Unfortunately gambling is not a way to make money, otherwise we would all be very happy and very rich.

All the best, one day at a time, and soon it will get much easier.

Hope some of this helps

Ken

Thanks for the advice my friend, I now intend not to even buy a lottery ticket or even have one go on the canteen's fruit machine, as I know one small gamble will soon turn into a mega one that I cannot afford, or I have to use my wits n juggle to get out of trouble. I have been here many times, but now im just getting pig sick of making backward steps, its now time for continuous steps forward and zero back, well that's my logic at the moment. wish me luck, ive gotta say I feel confident this time

Im well n truely P****d off with gamblin im 56 married my wife knows i gamble but not how much as im too ashamed to admit it. In short i wanna pack this demon in for good . Ive been gambling since the age of 15 mainly fruit machines but now roulette both online and bookies just wanna pack it in before it packs me in. Any advice welcome to my ears. Kenny

Hi kenny this is my advice as wife of cg. Tell your wife, you say she knows but not how much. Hand over your money, live on cash and receipts. She gives you cash you give her receipts and change to the penny. Go to GA. My cg is 47, back at GA, 30 years of waste. Being consumed by addiction. If you really want to stop, tell her. Then take real steps to get help.

Hi kenny you wrote this to me on a thread on f&f 'Thanks for the advice merry go round. Im on the verge of leaving and trying to sort this thing out on my own, then if i do gamble again im just hurting myself, I hope yer hubbys staying good and wish you both well.' My hubby is a troubled soul, 160days I think, along with bipolar2. His last blip, relapse whatever you want to call it, he said 'I'm leaving'. If he'd gone that would cost us more. More money, our relationship, damage the children, the list is endless. He didn't want to leave he just wanted to say it before I did. I believe you're stronger together. It's an isolating occupation, therefore to isolate yourself further? Will that help? The help comes when you confess. You feel better, your wife can take over finance stop the temptation. Get some help from gamcare before you make any rash decisions. I knew in my heart he was gambling, I wasn't shocked. Don't deny her a choice. Good luck!

Thanks for youre advice spoke to the wife i am stayin givin her credit cards, i really wanns knock this demon on the head once and for all. Best wishes n thanks once again for youre advice. Kenny

Hi all this is the first post I’ve ever done not just for gambling but ever.... read through some of the post and relate to so many of you... my story is similar to very many of you. I lost 8 grand last night gambling and have hit an all time low. For the first time in my life I have to accept I need help and hearing your stories and ways to over come have been potentially life saving for me... I’m going to go on a non gambling journey. And take it day by day... my gambling addiction crept up on me over a 14 years span never knew it was a addiction until I hit rock bottom... feel trapped as I can avoid casinos and bookies but my addiction is online and my phone is a constant reminder that one spin is just a pocket away. I’ve downloaded K9 so hopefully this will help... can’t believe how strong and brave you all are speaking about your journeys thanks so much for sharing... as difficult as it most have been to share it helps so much! Not sure if this is the type of thing I should post however it’s from the heart... enough is enough for me, loosing the people I love. And they have no idea why I’m distant. But one day hopefully I will be strong enough to share! Day one of the new me, can I ask how do I keep my mind active to avoid gambling boredom is the main reason I gamble addiction is the reason I keep playing

The reality has now set in and I’m gutted! Can’t move from bed. Speaking to people on the phone who are great st offering advise but never been there... cancelled all my online betting to find that as a result I can’t get back 3500 I’m owed as a result of leaving... cashed out last night and never realised! My partner thinks I’m cheating because I’m hiding it... feel lost for the first time! Keep checking online bank hoping for yet best that last night was a bad dream.... never thought gambling could be so gripping! Remember my first ever bet £20 and I thought this was to much how did I go from that to £1000s pound spins just don’t get. Spoke to a friend who said man up! And I believe coming on here is man’ing’ up would love advise from guys who have been here and done it! Even if it’s just day 2 as this one more day than me... thanks for reading

That sounds Illegal. If you cashed out why can't they give it to you?

They paid out and I re-gambled it on another website, I won money back and that’s my last bet I now want to start recovery... I’m owed 17 thousand and I’m in 2grand dept.... due to the amount I deposited they are now doing enhanced checks... if they pay out it means I can clear all debt, hand all my finances over to partner and start recovery I’m so afraid!!! That they won’t pay out and if they do will I play again... felt great a few hours thinking I’m a day with out gambling... all that money is pending on my account doing everything in my power to not reverse.... really stressed can’t concentrate on anything these are dark times... can’t understand why my mood keeps changing

Hi Kenny and Welcome to the forum.

Your title is a good one because it is a cleansing of the mind and a born again moment.

The addiction is an illness because its compulsive, out of control and we end up not really knowing why we do it. A gambling addiction is often not taken as seriously as substance abuse but its now in the same medical chapter as substance abuse.

Its actually one of the most dangerous addictions because it drives us in confusing ways and sets us up to chase and chase. It will all go right next week can drive people into a lifetime of delusion and mind control.

There is no room for half measures and this addiction needs the fear and indeed respect it deserves. The advice here is tried and tested. Minimum standards include telling people close and handing over control of finances for a long while.

Recovery from this takes more than willpower alone. There is a fair bit to learn about how your own mind can take control and be self destructive. Theres no way we can judge it as an income scheme yet we are quite able and willing to gamble to extinction.

There is also no room for complacency as it may always be within us. However the urges fade in a healthy mind and you will realise theres more important things in life and better things to be doing with your time.

You can stop when you are fully ready. Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling of control and serenity.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

I used to be that stressed waiting on couple of hundred pending, I'm sure you stress levels are through the roof!.. Isn't it madness, the obsession sigh money and even when we have won the need for more and more until we chase and crash. The simplistic things like earning a wage and living comfortably becomes so out of reach in our twisted minds

Hi all, im trying to put in a new post, i havnt been on here for a while so im a little rusty, im a gambler who stopped a week ago and hasnt gambled a penny since then, i would like to get help and also try and give help to fellow gamblers, and quitters like myself.