Hi... Im Shelley, jumped into this boat with the hopes of finding land with you. Been gambling 2 years regularly and I have to STOP. Its a horrible journey/lesson/phase/ addiction. I have gambled today and I dont want to gamble AGAIN EVER. Started whilst in a difficult relationship with an Alcoholic... Walked away from that as I couldnt help him, then felt like a failure and gambled regularly ever since. I simply cant afford this addiction as I know no-one can. Single parent and have dented my credit card twice... had a loan to pay off first dent and wondering how the hell i can pay off what im spending. Im at a critical stage now and one way or another I need to get out of this nightmare. Not sleeping through worry, feel sick n guilty and ashamed. Hate myself really. High five to everyone beating this... Im hoping to gaun strength and give encouragement to whoever needs it. Ive excluded myself from sites... but from past experience ... i just open others or start gambling again after exclusions end. How did i get to this point? Always used to have money... Have a good credit score... I had big plans.... All gone!
Hi Shelley,
I read your posts on another thread yesterday. Welcome to the forum and I hope it works for you.
To beat this addiction you have to be strong. I'm a recovering addict who bet each and everyday whilst at home and work. It became a normal part of my everyday life. Chasing losses, lying to my wife, planning my next bet and how to find the funds to do so. Awful feelings and actions. I didn't like myself anymore and strangely enough I didn't enjoy the gambling anymore. I know attend GA meetings weekly and have done so for 15months. I will always be a recovering gambling addict, but with focus on recovery and a need to educate myself from what I read and witness in my meetings I know I can't and don't ever want to return to my secret dark past.
I look at life now from this aspect.
Life as a gambling addict was bad and throw into that mix the ups & downs life brings it can only get worse.
Life as a recovering gambling addict isn't perfect but hey it's a hell of a lot better than the above, and I know from experience!
All the best.
Thanks Shep72. Its so hard. You feel determined then it all goes to pot again. I think i may have to go to meetings aswell. Im going to look for anything localish. Well done... your in the right path and should be proud of yourself. It takes alot os strength. Mind over matter i keep telling myself. Im going to start going for walks/runs to kill some time and hopefully feel good. Good luck to you .. keep it up.
Hi Guys,
Shelley try not to focus on the negatives - today is a positive start. Nothing will change overnight, however now you have made the step to sort this out, you can look to be in a better position every day that you stay away and are beating this. I am with you, today is the day I am packing it in. I decided to pack it in for good a few weeks back, and unfortunately relapsed last week and am back to absolutely nothing with big payments moving forward. On the positive side I can see that if I make a change that lasts, I will be in a much better position in the future and for the rest of my life.
Keep at it!
Hi Shelley,
Welcome, It's great that you have joined the forum and are facing up to to your addiction. It's the first step on a journey that we are all on together and this ship will not sink!
First off, you say you had 'big plans' and a 'good credit score' and I have to say that you are already on your way back to this again. Naturally the first thing you think about is what you have lost and not what you have gained and sadly as a result of gambling we all lose in the end. However, you've just had the biggest win in the sense that you have opened your eyes and are coming to terms with who you are and with help and encouragement you will find and develop the tools you need to deal with your addiction and overcome it. It will take time and that will be the test but after this first step you have made you are already a stronger person and those 'big plans and good credit score' are certainly on the cards for you again.
If you feel weak the biggest advice I can give is talk about it or write on here, someone will always listen and before you know it the urges will become controllable.
Stay strong and take it step by step, it will get easier.
Matt
Shelley1971 wrote: Thanks Shep72. Its so hard. You feel determined then it all goes to pot again. I think i may have to go to meetings aswell. Im going to look for anything localish. Well done... your in the right path and should be proud of yourself. It takes alot os strength. Mind over matter i keep telling myself. Im going to start going for walks/runs to kill some time and hopefully feel good. Good luck to you .. keep it up.
Thank you for those kind words. Hope you are doing well. I lost count of the amonts of walks I did alone in the early days of recovery, but hey they did the trick for me so hopefully you can do the same. As gamblers we were all terrible decision makers, in recovery make sure it is something you improve on. Whether it's changing your drive/walk to work to avoide bookmakers or casinos, these simple things can help and are positive. Good luck finding a local GA meeting. I do a 90 mile round trip to mine! However it's worth it 110%. All the best.
Hi Shelley вє
Not sure it was you I have spoken on chat few mins ago but just wanted to drop by with my well wishes and a bucket of strength for you!
As I said - you're not alone...reach out, keep talking and things will start getting better вє
X
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