Day 1 - help I feel so anxious

Hi there. 

What I will say is congratulations for walking away with £250. You can walk away with the pride you never gave every single penny to them. So that's a strong start for a start. 

As for the losses. They're gone now and you just have to accept that.  You can't expect the bookies to hand you anything back because if the spin would have landed or whatever it was you were playing and it came in they would have had to give you your money in the same way now that money is now theirs unfortunately. 

Start by putting all the blocks in place. Gamban GameStop,Self exclusions etc and open up a savings account with an aim of this time next year or the year after purchasing yourself something you might have done with money lost. Think of how nice that feeling will be when you're one year , two years into recovery and you're sunbathing by the pool on the hard earned dime you put away as part of your healing process.

It all starts with nautical mile number one and we're all in the same boat here friend. 

All the best in your recovery

Calvin

I was in a similar situation myself my family never helped me with my addiction nor could they understand such an addiction could even exist however i cannot blame them for thinking that i took me a while to understand this addiction i did Ga CBT on my own accord my family think i have grown up as since my early days when i was in so much bother since my last relapse i feel i am doing much better as i started using the online services i finally understood my trigger point and i cannot be content with this addiction has long as i can continue getting support i am less likely to relapse thanx to Gamcare i am just under 6 months clean and in much better position then i ever was

Rebuilding the money is the wrong way to think about it. Please just get you life , mental health and sanity back, any money rebuilding will follow, just obsess on quitting and getting your life back.

You can do this, and i can`t wait to see you posting that the fear has gone and your life is getting to where you want it to be. It is a long journey but very achievable. Be positive and work out how to get your life back on an even keel. Small steps and gradual life changes are where its at, good decisions help nurture more good decisions. A good decision might be as simple as knowing when you are struggling to catch up on sleep, plan in advance what to do when you are struggling and dont wait until its on you. Praise yourself when you make a tough decision or have a gamble free day/week/month or year. We have all made mistakes in the past but it doesn't mean we don`t deserve praise or to be happy in the future, draw that line in the sand right now and move on gamble free.

When you see people on here say well done on xxx amount of days gamble free, its isn`t a throw away comment, it is genuinely meant as we know how hard those initial few days are.

So firstly well done on realizing your problem and secondly well done for reaching out.

I cant wait to follow your recovery, there will be downs, but i reckon you`ve got this.

@cal-j thank you so much for your reply. 

last night I felt a huge amount of relief that I’d taken the gamstop step - I’m just hoping the regret I didn’t do it sooner will pass soon. I feel so guilty that that money could have done so much good. 

but the feeling of relief was unexpected and I’m going to try and focus on that for now x

@tazman thank you - I’m looking forward to being 6 months down the line and getting my life back x

@lids19635 thanks so much for your reply. 

you’re right, I’ve been through an awful lot of trauma over the last few years with health and my husbands mental breakdown removed link I’ve just felt worthless. 

I felt a massive amount of relief last night when I hadn’t spent the whole day on my phone and after subscribing to gamstop.

I also feel so frustrated with myself that I didn’t do it sooner when my brain kept telling me to and feel awful about the money and the good things I could have done with it. 

I guess it’s one day at a time. It’s good to no longer feel alone that’s for sure. X

The regret/guilt is one of the worst feelings about it I find, Forums/ chatrooms on here seem like a great tool to have but also if not your husband maybe a good friend or relative that you can discuss how your feeling with could help too 

At the moment I think I hate myself because I have tried and tried to stop gambling and what a battle it is. Up until 3 years ago I did not even do the lottery. I was introduced to slots and have lost so much money to these online Casinos that just rob people of their money! I am usually a logical person but I have to admit even though I have read so much about the effects of gambling on mental health, finances, relationships, I just can’t stop! Let’s hope this is my start of recovery because I am at rock bottom with myself. I have good support around me but it is hard. Really I want to scream from the rooftops how these casinos just let people deposit, deposit, and don’t do checks properly, then when you reach a threshold of a couple of thousand pounds that’s when they put measures in place. It’s totally wrong. It’s disgusting how they are getting away with it. Something needs to be done about online slots because if our Great British Government knew how much money and casinos I have played on in the last 3 years they would be more than astounded! Sorry just had to rant and don’t even know if I am posting this in the right forum. Lol