Not my first post however this is the first time i can honestly hold my hands up and say I'm in the grips of a gambling addiction.
My evolution into my current status is quite common, started gambling in my teens (fruit machines, the odd football accumulator), this gradual morphed into online gambling with multiple accounts and daily visits to the bookies.
I am now 39 and have lost untold amounts of money during my gambling journey and more importantly lost precious time in doing so.
The thing is i have never put myself into serious financial difficulty, i have always managed to pull away before i do irreparable damage. That saying i never have a spare penny at the end of the month and often have to rob peter to pay paul when I've gone over the top.
I have a decent paid job, i have an amazing wife and 3 young children. The thing that has made me hate myself is how proficient i have become at hiding my addiction, the ability to make up stuff just to get away for my fix. How good at lying i have become.
I have put all the blocks in place (Gamban, banking gambling tools) etc but i always find a way.
I have an addictive personality and do everything to excess. I have managed to address previous vices in my life like drinking and smoking but gambling is a different beast.
I want to sort this out so i can live in the moment with my kids instead of being preoccupied with my betting, i want to use the money to buy and do nice things for them.
Whilst i will never get the time or money back from the last 25 years i know it’s not too late to make the future better. That starts today.
Apologies for the novel, i know i am one of thousands feeling this way and want to change.
We can do this.
Hi Mark,
Well done for saying those words! Ir takes a lot of guts to admit.
Are you able to talk to your wife about what has happened? It was the hardest thing I did but one do the best things coming clean to my husband. It will be a massive weight off your shoulders, and no more secret or lies. I found that mentally and physically exhausting everyday.
As for finding a way to gamble - if your wife knows then perhaps she can take over financial control so you don’t have access to any money?
Good luck on your journey - remember you’re not alone and to reach out when you’re in need some help or advice.
Claire
realisation and acceptance are the first steps to recovery
Consistency and determination are the next
at your ripe age you know dam well this lifestyle is a route to nowhere its time to grow up and turn your back on it
I had serious issues with it in my 20's but I knew full well even then at some stage I was going to need to knock this on the head I have it under control now but every couple of months I will have a lapse of judgement and "try my lucK"
It will usually result in a few hours wasted and a few hundred down , then a 5 day psychological hangover / guilt trip and then back to abstinence
Hi Mark15
Well done for all that you have written, a real admittance which is most certainly the best first step. You sound as if you have made that decision to stop gambling and make a better life for you and your family. Although I hear you have not become massively in debt but realise your life can be more enriched if you were able to be gamble free.
Accepting you have had enough is great, not wanting to tell lies anymore is a real signal that you are mentally exhausted by the harm you are experiencing.
I know very well what harm can do to families and have supported a loved one throughout it, thankfully to a good end after many years before Gamcare help.
Speaking honesty to a loved one or friend and family member could help if that is an option right now as this can be a lonely journey for you. Gamcare has so many avenues for people now including 1 to 1 chat and in person sessions.
You are never alone in your journey as you can see from words of advice from forum friends shows that there are many that know how you feel.
Best wishes Mark and keep reaching out
Patsy
Hi all my name is Sid
I can finally admit I have a gambling problem which is ruining my life and my relationship.
I tried to face this issue last year and managed about a month buy it’s gone out of control.
I have various betting accounts and in many betting groups and I’m even admin of one of these groups.
I would say that I tend to win but the days I don’t I chase my loss and this is never a good idea.
my betting has caused friction in my relationship with my partner and also it’s so time consuming as I’m spending hours and hours a day looking at horses and even started playing slots online.
my family are missing out because of this and I’m missing out on quality time spent with them.
gambling has caused me depression which I’m suffering from at the minute along with other things going on in my life.
im actually on good money in my job but I live month to month with no savings at all due to my addiction.
im 43 years of age and should be enjoying life rather than trying to win a better life for myself and family.
with my betting it’s not just about the buzz of winning to me it’s actually the social side to it as well as I’ve met so many great people in the betting groups im in and actually made some good friends from it and this is why it’s harder than ever to be able to walk away from it.
I know I need help and simply putting limits on accounts and stopping my bank account from allowing me to gamble simply doesn’t work for me as I’ve tried this and failed.
I’ve been betting everyday now for months and im even doing this whilst busy at work.
Hi Sid @e8vawn1srt
What a really heartfelt admittance of where you feel you are at the moment.
I hear that you were able to refrain from gambling before for a stretch of time. Although I am sure that was difficult I am sure you can remember some of the benefits of that period in your life.
It is encouraging to hear that you have not got lots of debt so you have a good platform to start a recovery.
I know from supporting a loved one, its a isolated time and friends and family relationships can fall away. But hopefully you can reconnect with them and organise some time to spend quality time with them.
Connecting your gambling to a social life is very difficult as I can hear it brings you a sense of belonging but pain as well. I wonder if you can speak honestly to anyone of the friends that you feel you have made about your worries?
Alternatively , the helpline is open 24/7 on 0808 8020 133, consider talking to somebody on a 1-1 basis which I found really helpful and chatrooms where there are so many of us that know how you feel.
Best Wishes Sid and keep using Gamcare as changing your life is possible!
Patsy
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