Failed.... again.

Hi Matt,

Sorry you're at a bit of a bad point but you've done the right thing coming here.

Use the emotions you are going through now as motivation to make positive changes and ACTUAL changes and you will reap the benefits in time. Yeah, I know this all sounds rather 'holier than thou' so, to give you a better picture, I'm not some preacher but an early 30's Essex boy recovering from an addiction to slots, fruit machines, footie bets etc. (oh, and booze and charlie but that's for another forum!).

Seriously though, use the pain of this loss as a kick up the a**e to set some blocks in place. Self exclude, close online accounts, restrict access to money, talk to anyone who will listen. There is no one thing that will keep you from gambling but a combination of blocks will make it much more difficult and will buy you some thinking time when the urges come knocking. Do it NOW, otherwise, like a hangover, the pain will fade and you'll start thinking 'maybe it wasn't so bad'...and the cycle continues.

GA isn't for everyone but enough people say it changed their lives that it has to be worth a go. Get free counselling from GamCare, read everything you can on this site. In short, do ANYTHING you can to help yourself and something will work for you. Sadly, there is no magic fix (and certainly no quick one), actually there's no fix at all but there is a much better life waiting for you if you can keep away one day at a time.

All the best mate.

Phil

Thanks for the reply Phil. Much appreciated. Ive self excluded of all sites and deleted all apps. Card is now with my mother (nothing in there for a month but its a start). Told my girlfriend straight away. We're going to have a talk later so im sure thats when all real emotion will come out as i broke a promise and thats what hurts the most. Just talking on here which is helping and calming me down.

Hope you are doing well.

Matt

Hi Matt,

Sounds like you're making all the right moves, well done for taking the bull by the horns and doing something.

All the best

Phil

All

Hey Matt. Well done for posting and showing that you want to kick this shocking habit in to touch.

I have similarities with you in that I came clean to a family member after putting myself through years of suffering, sleepless nights, loan applications etc. I also failed to put the necessary blocks in place after my initial confession and ended up back in the same familiar cycle.

I found that I needed to prove and show my family and myself that I am serious about beating this monster. Some advice that you may find helpful - cut up your cards and order new ones, do not even look at them and give them straight to your mum. No memorising, no photos taken etc. Then, for peace of mind for you and your loved ones go to a cash point once a week (with your mum) - withdraw your weekly spends and provide a balance statement to your mum. I am currently following this process and I find each statement I print is a pat on the back. It is also putting my mum at ease and coincidently - my balance is not going down. It’s not funding the lifestyle of a bookie.

I hope this helps mate. Joining the forum and reading / communicating on here is great. Most imoortantly. Prove YOU want to stop.

All the best.

Ive somehow managed to get 3 hours sleep (work nights). Hate this feeling of being at rock bottom. Not the money thats hurting me the most. I can always earn more money. Its the fact i broke the promise i made to my girlfriend and family that i wouldnt do this again.

Spent most of the day reading on here and only way is go is up right now.

Thanks all.

Matt

well done for sharing similar story to yours lost basically all my money a few days back! Been struggling with urges but have luckily managed to stay strong. Firstly by reading comments on here every time I have struggled. Secondly another tip from on here like most of us we are happy to spin hundreds/ thousands in minutes without a flicker. Instead why not give that money to your girlfriend treat her or treat both of you go out for food. Firstly it will Take your mind off it secondly at least you will both be happy!

Need a chat I'm here!

Well we've spoken today and you can imagine the way that conversation went. (Not good.) I got a month to wait until i get paid again so i got a month to try sort myself out and sort something out so this doesnt happen again. How i do it? Im not too sure to be quite honest. A sit down with everyone is needed to work out the best way. Whether its meetings or just letting my girlfriend/family control my finances for a while.

Im sure everything will be ok in the long run but its a bit rubbish in the short term.

Same here if you ever need a chat

Like you said long term is bad. But is it really? Imagine spinning just one more time and loosing it could be even worse! That's what I keep telling myself. The hardest few days will be the first my urges today have gone Iv felt far better. Set goals write something down short and long term and then hit them. Good luck!

Hello Matt,

Sorry to hear you've gambled again. Now is a good time to review the efforts you have in place to stop you. i understand you have spoken to family and friends about it which is a great place to start. Have you spoken to a counsellor? Try GA meetings? How about the blocks you have in place. Be honest, if you wanted to gamble, could you? Handing over financial control is not a weak or degrading thing to do. Its taking ownership and understanding that right now you just cant trust yourself with money.

I gave over full financial control (all credit and debit cards) and worked out my expenses (direct debits and food bills etc). Every pay day i go to the cashpoint with that person and withdrawl my food budget in cash for the month. I go for a big shop once a week and other than that just keep a few £ (less than 10) in my wallet, though i dont even always take it out with me now. Its given me great piece of mind that i know how much money i now have, its also helped reduce my urges because i know i dont have access to cash. This helps me and i now think, why would i not do this?

Keep posting on here, hope you can sort whatever is making you want to gamble as much and blocking access to it. Its important to address the triggers of our gambling as much as block are means to do it.

Hey, ive done it before! Parents had control and it worked wonders! Got rid of alot of debt and saved at the same time giving myself a budget.
In hindsight i think i let myself get control back way too soon as i slipped back into old habits soon after.

These 5 months have been amazing so im hoping the girlfriend forgives me in time (shes not speaking to me atm and i dont blame her) and with a bit more focus and blocking of certain apps, i can do 5 months again and way more.

Here is to day one (again)

Matt