Feel more down than ever -

I know how you feel , even though please try to be strong you did it once you can do it again , Im sure other members on here will tell you the same , like I was told by my son yesterday its the gambling thats causing the depresion not the depresion making you gamble . Good luck , I hope you get through this bad patch .

Turbine

Thank you.. at least I'm not alone

Hi Glads Dad - Well you've made a good start by coming on the site and I'm pretty sure you'll start to feel better about things when you read the inspiring comments here. Try to visit as much as possible and remember that you are not alone.

Have you taken any steps to put barriers between yourself and gambling? e.g. self-exclusion, blocking software etc. These strategies are so helpful if preventing access to gambling in whatever form it takes.

Good wishes for the journey - one day at a time.

Joanna

Hi Glad's dad I'm sorry you're feeling so depressed. I can understand how angry you are with yourself too after doing so well for ten years. But as the others have said, you have done it before so you can do it again and you've done the right thing coming on here. Today is my first day not gambling. I've lost thousands over the years and many thousands over the last six months. I'm ashamed of myself but I know I've got to take it step by step. You can do it Glads dad ... hang on in there. Good luck to you and keep posting how you're doing :o)

Thankyou for your positive comments

My biggest issue is that my wife doesn't know - no surprise there then!

She is amazing, hardworking and beautiful -she trusts me and the lies and deceit are killing me

I am so selfish with this addiction.

The thing that spurs me to gamble is boredom (I think apart from the actual addiction) I'm off Saturdays, she's at work till 4.30 so I just go off and stupidly lose money that I just haven't got... I am getting to a critical state as I hate myself for doing this behind her back.. I cannot tell her cos 7 yrs ago I took a loan out to cover my losses and she found out and went ballistic I told her I'd stopped gambling (lied again)

I feel so bad for the deceit it's doing me in - I m getting so down and MOODY

How can I stop the urges

Hi Glads Dad - It sounds as if you are visiting betting shops rather than online gambling (?).

If so, get down there and self-exclude. That's No. 1 priority. Next, if lonely Saturdays are the tipping point - what can you do to occupy yourself until your wife gets home? Gardening?

A new hobby? Charity work? Just taking yourself off on a train or bus to visit a new place? So many people here will tell you that filling your life with new interests really helps and is good for your health and moods too!

Are you on Day 2 of sanity now? Good - now

start a Diary and try to post on it every day. A day at a time is the way to build up your recovery.

Finally, come over to the 'Overcoming problem gambling' page and join the '2014 Challenge'. Collectively we support each other in the struggle, led by Mr Brightside who keeps tabs on our progress, including himself! It really helps - if you read the last week's posts you will see how supportive it is. All you have to do is introduce yourself and check in once a week (before Saturday).

You will soon start to feel better, I am sure, and your wife will probably notice a change too!

Best wishes - you can do this!

Joanna

Thanks for the positives!!!

Fruit machines are the devil

Just need to think about implementing a plan of action

It just gets a grip on you and tears you to bits cos u know its going to be the same vile feeling when the money's gone

Thanks again

8 days gamble free - staying sharp 🙂

Well done Glads Dad - keep going!

Hello Glads Dad,

first of all well done for getting the bend again.

You've done the right first step in the right direction and I'm sure it will help you to being here and sharing your feelings.

Let me tell you something, what might worry you, but it is really important and at the end it's down to you what you take out of it.

I totally understand that you are frightened to talk to your wife. It's the realisation having failed and feeling a disgrace to the family what I always called it in my case. But funny enough it was always just me feeling this way. My family had a totally different view, because they understand more than myself that I have an addiction and this certainly means not that I'm a bad person but they can just help me when I'm truthful with them. The disappointment is based in the lies not in the gambling addiction. But telling the truth is hard for us because it means to us making ourselves small and in my personal case it was even that I couldn't bring up the courage because I feared the consequences.

I was lying to not diss appoint my partner or losing her trust but achieved exactly the opposite !

It's the hardest bit for me to learn to never get in this position again.

Good luck mate

Wolfgang

Hi Wolfgang

Many thanks for taking time to reply to my tale of woe!!

Last time I stopped I had a local g.a group who were brilliant - now it's gone it's just been so much harder to help myself overcome gambling.

This forum,the experiences of others and the positive comment are the next best thing.

I couldnt tell the wife now as i told her I'd stopped 6 yrs ago but I've not been strong enough to stop by myself ( typical pathetic gambler)

She would understand that it IS a disease, I'm sure she would support me eventually but it's the trust/lying issue that I think she would struggle with.. Her last partner also had an extremely bad gambling issue and she left him.

I cannot put my marriage in any more jeopardy - gambling/ dishonesty and lying are bad enough without the potential of losing her..

I've got no parents, brothers or sisters to fall back on..I NEED support from you guys and i know we can help each other get better. I have already restricted my accounts and got rid of my credit cards - so it's looking good.

Every day is a difficult but we can do this.(10th day)

Stay focused

Thanks again Wolfgang

I totally understand your fear to losing your wife mate and maybe it is the best for you not to tell her now, I really can't give you the right advise there and I don't think anybody can. Even I'm not struggling as much as you at the moment, I do know how difficult it is but you are in good hands here and you are on the right way stay strong mate. I've decided just for myself to check in here every day from now at least for a quick check up so when ever you feel down I'm here for you to listen and help when I can mate.

Keep up your good work

Wolfgang

Thanks Wolfgang

Great idea to visit this site everyday it adds strength to our weakness

How's things your side mate?

Tell me about your situation

Cheers Glads Dad

Hi

I'm gamble free for over a week and will never gamble again , I can't belive I got me and my little family into this situation (23k debt) ..online slots were my devil but no more

I fessed up to the present lady Thomas last night , she went nuts but we soon talked about it and I handed over all my cards and now am on a small weekly budget off her , I'm lucky she is so amazing with me and a fantastic mother .

Tonight I spoke to national debt line to find out what I can do about what the devils work has done to me and although scary I feel a lot more positive , I should be able to keep my home but I can tell you this ....talk to your wife and think about what can/ will happen if you don't and gamble again

This place has been a revelation to me and I pop in every day to read story's and update mine

All the very best

Steve