Fighting the urges

Marko

It's good to see you have started a thread of your own, I hope many others support you here. It must have taken such strength to sit out that urge, especially with all the physical symptoms you were having. It's so good you did not have access to your money. Please, if you haven't already, call us on the Helpline or chat to us on the Netline. Our contact details are at the top of this page. We can offer you a lot more support to get through this. You're not doing this alone, Marko.

Take care

Forum Admin.

Thanks.

Have managed to not to gamble had a few more episodes but this time i am determined

I thought i had reached rock bottom a few times when i gambled my family's home savings pretty much everything we had

And been charged with theft.

But it was my daughters face when she had realised i had stolen her money she saved hard for her debs

That was it for me. the thing is when I took her money I truly believed I was only borrowing it.

When I stole before I was only always borrowing it I would tell my self I would repay

Good luck with it mate. You can turn it round I am sure.

Hi Marko, sorry things have got so bad for you. Addiction is all-consuming and we become reckless and selfish, hence stealing money. When I first joined here I mentioned I had 'taken' money from my little girls savings and I can honsetly say I, like you, felt as if I was just borrowing it. However, a fellow member wrote on my diary 'I too, have stolen from my children' and it felt like a slap over the face as I never thought of it as stealing - but it was. Would I accept that behaviour from my daughter? Of course not and this not only show me I was theiving and selfish it also showed me that I was a bloo8y hypocrite!

Take the bull by the horns and fight this addiction head on. You have made a good move by allowing your ex-wife take control of your finances. Get help by way of Gamcare counselling, join GA, keep posting on your diary, read fellow gamblers diaries, keep yourself busy...anything to keep your mind off gambling. My counsellor once said 'you have invested your time, money and emotions on a relationship which has shown you nothing in return' and that is so very true. We would not accept a relationship on those terms in real life would we? So, now's the time to kick this leech into touch and put all of your effort on the road of recovery. We're all on the road, albeit different parts of the road, but we will support each other when the time comes and encourage each other in their goal of a gamble free life.

Take care friend, you can do it xx

Thanks for the support.

week three still fighting.

Trying to build bridges with my kids but let them down so many times it may be to late for that.

The Urges are still there like a little demon in the back of my head saying screw it you have nothing left to lose may be you Could be the one in a million that wins big, Its BS i know even if i won a million i would still play till i lost it all.

Some good news the police are not prosercuting me for thef because its my first offence i am getting a police caution

will still have a record but no conviction this mite allow me to work again i have not got the strenth to look in to it all yet

The money is gone the best i can hope for now is my self respect back and forgivness from my kids.

Well worth fighting for.

Hi Marko, you are sounding more positive and that's great. You are right about the money, it's gone; but you're still here and so are your kids, who you clearly love dearly. Things also seem to be turning around and it's good to see you won't have a criminal record which not only helps your self esteem but should not jeopordise your chance of getting a new job.

You have loads to keep fighting for and you're doing well 3 weeks in. Take care my love x

annie67 wrote:

Hi Marko, you are sounding more positive and that's great. You are right about the money, it's gone; but you're still here and so are your kids, who you clearly love dearly. Things also seem to be turning around and it's good to see you won't have a criminal record which not only helps your self esteem but should not jeopordise your chance of getting a new job.

You have loads to keep fighting for and you're doing well 3 weeks in. Take care my love x

Thanks for the support.

I did walk in to a casino today but did not play.

Talk about split personality i wanted to gamble but felt sick at the thought of doing it.

I met a guy i know in there, he was in a bad way lost his rent money

I just thought i dont need this grief my mind is hanging by a thread as it is.

so i just walked out glad i did.

Hello marko12312

Pleased to see you start a thread.

Noticed some good contributions from yourself on the forum.

My situation is also close to - if not - being beyond repair.

Yours is a sad story, just came by to wish you a happy ending.

Long way to go, look forward to following your progress getting there.

Blessings

Glint

Thanks again for the support.

Still fighting the good fight feeling a little better

Plus my daughter had dinner with me this evening then we watched a movie together a chick flick but I did not care

It meant the world to me.

I wish you nothing but happiness Marko and hope that you regain the trust and respect of your Daughter which I'm sure you will do. Every day that passes without gambling makes us that little bit stronger and helps us to reclaim a part of the person we used to be. I'm 9 months gamble free now and I feel so much better for it, as will you. You'll get there, I believe in you! Take care and be happy every day.

Hi there my love, how are things?

[quote=annie67]

Hi there my love, how are things?

Hanging in there annie.

Had a few really bad days but the barriers i put in place are holding no access to funds or credit of any type it really is the only way.

My aunt sent me some money nearly 1k she knows my story. bless her she does not realise giving money to a CG is the worse thing You can do. Lucky i was having a good day so i gave all of it to my ex wife for the kids to have a few days away in alton towers

I was invited to join them, i have accepted and really looking forward to it i hate rides but it will be good for the kids to see me

Enjoy the time with them. felt good about it all.

But the next day the CG demon in me started to wind me up you dont have any spending money your due a win. etc

Ask her for some of the money back, but i stayed firm in my resovle not to gamble.

so happy i did the holiday is booked and paid for .no mater what happens between now and july

I know the kids will have a short holiday and i did that for them. just like the dad i used to be and hope to be again.

Marko, glad you stayed strong and gamble free - it's tough but exceptionally empowering when you can kick that urge right into touch! A wee holiday away with your family will be a great tonic and you are right; you did that for them. You sound like a great Dad and I'm sure your family love you very much. Take care pal xx

Hi pal, how's things?

Hope you have had a good weekend x​

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