Finally joined.

It's rough at the minute for many people. The stress and pressure of work slowing down is not good because I still have to pay bills and my debt is still around my neck and will be for another couple of years. I thought I could pay off far more than I actually could when I first gave up gambling and so my original plan of being debt free in 2 years never really happened. My hours of work changed and I lost income which pretty much halved my money coming in, and this happened within a couple of months of going gamble free, back in 2018. I have made it to almost the 2 year mark now without a bet but I don't know how some days as the pressure has really gone up. It really shows you that money is not everything and focusing on what you don't have is not healthy. 

I guess what I have learned from this is that you can handle a lot of pressure when you aren't gambling. It's different. It's owning your responsibilities. When you are gambling, you can't think straight, everything seems too much. So now, even though I am under more pressure financially than when I was actually gambling, (yeah, I know!) it is still easier because I have stability and better mental health. I know what to expect and where I stand and you NEVER EVER have that while you are gambling.

So glad you have taken the plunge to go gamble free. It is the best thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you will benefit. You will have more time, more energy, more focus and more self esteem. Not to mention more ability to pay the bills. Just keep going. It can be difficult some days but you just have to learn that it is okay to feel low sometimes, life's not meant to be all fun and games. Normality and routine is not boring. It's actually exactly the security we need.

Just keep throwing money at the debt and don't feed those machines. 

I get what you mean, I actually can't believe how much I used to gamble daily, weekly, monthly. It all adds up to one huge amount. I actually think getting this debt is a blessing in disguise. I probably would have just carried on and wasted way more than I have if I had carried on as normal in denial. Instead I'm here talking to wonderful people and getting help. Even the past two months have been much better not gambling. I came on here because I still have huge issues. I get the temptation to have a huge blowout quite often. But I know with everyone's help and support and step by step I can let those know around me of my issues which will only help me. 

Jones0990,

Do you read your own posts? You've asked everyone for advice, everyone has said be honest with you girlfriend, and yet you're going to do your own thing.

You only have a problem with live casino games but still want to play pub fruit machines and play poker. There's a saying in addiction. I don't have a problem with xyz...yet. Gambling is gambling. Some people can take or leave certain things but a lot can't, so it is advised that you don't do any gambling. No pub machines, no lottery, no scratch cards, no Saturday only football bets, nothing. The reason for this is you'll kid yourself that if you can do pub machines okay (although I suggest you look at yourself honestly) then you'll think that maybe you can do live casino games again. I've seen it and done it myself too many times. It's never ended well.

Just one more thing. Our egos get us into a lot of trouble. It's hard to think that we might be wrong or others know better, through qualification and more importantly, experience. Let me ask you this. Doing things your way with your thinking, how did they end up? With an addiction, with a debt, and all the other things that go along with this illness. What makes you think that doing a recovery your way is going to be any better. 

I could go on but I'd just be lecturing you and that's not the point. I'd just ask you this. What happens if you get a phone call re counselling when you're with your girlfriend? Do you lie about the call, do you not take the call and miss out on a session or something in between? How do you also get around your initial question about her finding out you have a loan when you apply for a joint mortgage next year? More lies, maybe gamble to win the money which makes it worse? 

Being honest sounds simple in comparison.

Good luck.

Chris.