I’ve read a few posts and threads and identify to why I gamble…
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for me it’s boredom, depression (linked to being over weight!) and loneliness..
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Firstly, I often deposit, to kill the boredom. Not because I want to, but because I can add 20 mins of excitement , it’s often numbers, colours I will just pick horses randomly. The other morning I woke at 5am, played the cartoon horses and lost ... because I didn’t fall back to sleep. Picked a number and said it’s got to win at some point. In around 20 races, that number won maybe twice! It was number 6. No care, just placing bets because I could.Â
I’ve been depressed for so long, linked to the two other factors behind my gambling. Weight gain and social anxiety. I’ve put on about 6st and because of this can’t and don’t leave the house outside of working. I’m a recluse which is bizarre given I grew up social, happy and large social groups. I can count the number of nights out I’ve had on one hand in the last 5 years.Â
I work a job that is busy, and when I am working, I have no urge to gamble but as soon as I get home, I’m bored. Not an excuse but at a young age I was diagnosed with ADD and lose focus and enjoyment on anything quickly…not gambling though, I could gamble 6-8 hours on a Saturday, easily.Â
Linked to the depression, when I lose I can spiral, but not for long. If I win or lose, that emotion can be short lived. It doesn’t really matter.Â
Now, I’ve hit such a rut, when anyone suggests anything, try something new I just make excuses to why I can’t. I’m miserable. I’m that depressed, I go to work and tell myself I need something new but the change needs to be me but I don’t help myself!Â
I’ve also been gambling for 25 years. I’m 42. Online ONLY - not been a bookies for 20 years, I don’t play roulette or fruit machines. Or Pokér. My brain realises that they don’t work. It’s a loss. But not sports betting why?Â
I’ve rambled enough. I’m not sure what happens next. I have 3 children, a large home a decent job, yet miserable and see no success. I’ve been on medication for 10 years. I need to help myself before  I lose another 10 years to this miserable cycle.Â
tahnsk for reading.Â
Hi there
So 5 and a half years ago I was in a very similar place to you, I would work lots and when working not think about gambling however when I was alone all that went through my mind was how to try and double what was in my pocket.  I never had online accounts it was too easily traceable for people around me, I’d go to bookies, pubs and do sports bets and scratch cards. I did this out of pure boredom but it was addictive, I was a full on addict, I was 16 when I started and it was just before my 30th birthday admitted to my now wife and my parents that I was an addict and needed help.
No one that isn’t going through this can begin to understand it, gambling addiction is absolutely evil, it’s cold turkey or nothing, unlike drugs and drink you don’t get anywhere just cutting back your bets because the urge is there to keep playing win or lose.
It may come across as easy to tell you it gets easier but if you feel you’ve had enough of this and genuinely want people to help you then by opening up and getting the help it really does get better and life does become easier to live and ultimately enjoy.  I have a network of over 3000 people who know my journey so I made myself accountable from the off, Gamcare were amazing and got me an unbelievable counsellor who supported me immensely. Â
I’m not going to sugar coat it, the first 6 months of recovery and going clean were hell, withdrawal was terrible but it’s important to fill the void with other activities or life goals. My children and wife do a massive amount of other activities that I didn’t do when I’d gamble, I took up fishing again for example to fill the void, it relaxes my mind it gives me peace, it allows me to reflect positively and I get a greater thrill catching a big fish than I genuinely did when I gambled, that for me is the truth. Â
Your story and journey will be different to mine for sure but my friend it can be dealt with, you can do this, you can beat this, there is nothing that can’t be achieved.  Believe in yourself, you have to want it fully though.
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