First time admitting I have a problem

Welcome Laura

You mentioned that your gambling started roughly around the time your mother died, this is something a councillor could work on with you as regards to your gambling. A lot of people start gambling as a way to ease the grief of losing a loved one , gamcare offer a free 12 session councillor, either face to face or online. As for the debts if their unaffordable give step change a call and they can help lighten the load and will speak with your creditors on your behalf, that’s also free. As for a starter you should be self excluding those accounts, aswell get some blocking software ie gam block. You can set parental blocks on both mobile and land based internet. Order yourself a new bank card and get someone to scratch away the cvv code, it’s useless if you try to use it online then, use the chat rooms on this site and read a few diaries, you’ll soon relate to a lot of people on here and won’t feel so alone.

All the best

Hi Laura. Sorry you are going through this. Last week I was in your position, I was so scared to tell my husband that I had been gambling (again) and had lost a lot of money. It was really, really difficult, but I knew that I needed his support. I told him the next day and it was the right decision. He reminded me that he's my husband, through thick and thin and that gambling wasn't the worst thing I could do, and that it "was only money". I know that it isn't"only money" we are not rich and both work hard, as I'm sure you and your family do. But, you will pay off your debts eventually if you stop gambling now. Bite the bullet and tell your husband. From experience i can tell you you will feel better immediately. The guilt, pain and stress you're feeling right now won't go straight away, but coming clean is a start. He might be angry and disappointed with you, but at least you're being honest with him and, as your husband, he deserves that. I hope you find the strength to confide in him, I know it's difficult, but I also know how difficult it is facing this alone. I'm only 7 days gamble free after losing alot of money. I still feel horrendous, but having my husband there giving me a hug and telling me we'll be ok is helping so much. Good luck love x

Hi Wentworth and velvet. Thank you both for taking the time to comment on my situation. I really appreciate both of your comment and Wentworth I have self excluded from the sites I was using I will defiantly be looking at getting the software blockers and things.
And velvet thank you so much for your advice I didn't think there would be people out there in my situation. I'm so happy that you've got your husband by your side. I've literally just written him a 3 page letter explaining everything as I literally hate confrontation at all costs. I'm going to give it him tommmorow or read it out to him. I just pray and hope he's as supportive as yours.
Thanks again for your comments and Wentworth I think I have my first counselling session next Thursday. I don't know what to expect or feel about it.

Hi Laura

Don't think for one moment you are on your own here. There are many, many of us on here with very similar stories and it can get better for you if you really want to stop.

Wentworth has given you all the practical advice which I can only suggest you take it. It is the same advice i was given and although ut has only been a couple of weeks, so far so good.

re telling you husband, this seems to be the first step you must take. I was advised to tell my wife, did not heed the advice and it cost me another £1000 before I eventually plucked up the courage a week later. Not going to lie, it was fairly horrific, but after the initial shock she could not have been more supportive.

Had my first counselling session last week and I admit I was pretty nervous beforehand but these are professionals who know what they are doing and know how to deal with sometimes fragile people. Second session tomorrow and part of me looking forward to it as it is part of the steps towards a better future.

Hard to do at the moment I am sure but don't beat yourself up too much, if you really do want to stop there is future you without gambling that will be a lot happier.

Good luck.

Hi again Laura.
Just to let you know I'm thinking about you and hoping you are ok. You are not alone, there's so many of us facing the same situation. Keep being honest with yourself and the people you confide in. Don't gamble one day at a time and everything else will fall into place eventually. Everything is going to be ok eventually. X

Hi velvet thank you so much for writing again. Last night was the night I was going to help the husband but he's having such a bad week at work I just couldn't bring myself to tell him I really couldn't, but on another note I did open up and tell a close friend yesterday I felt as though I had to tell somebody. I still need to tell the hubby but just can't add to his all stress right now maybe next week I don't know. Xxx

Hi Laura. Well done for confiding in your friend, I know how awful this will have been for you, so you, so try to take comfort from the fat you have found the strength to do it. It's a really good start on your road to remaining gamble free and sorting out your debts. I'm a great believer in "the problem shared, a problem halved" mantra. Are you feeling any better? Don't feel too bad about not being able to tell your husband yet, I'm sure you'll find the courage to do so when you feel the time is right. I faced the bank for the first time yesterday which was hideous, but at least I know what I'm dealing with! You will be alright, Laura, just keep resisting the urge to gamble and you will start to live normally again. Take care love, and keep the comforting thought with you always, you are not alone, there are so many people faing the exact same thing as you, there is support out there. X