Hi,
My Name is Rob i am 29 and have a gambling addiction and this is my story, sorry if this is abit drawn out but it needs to be told and i am sure many of you can relate.
My first ever Gamble was when is was 17 down at the local bookmakers i went in with my mate had a go on the FOBT roulette to be specific and won probably about £100 each from a fiver or something and i have been hooked ever since.
I remember been about 19 just coming out of college and getting my first full time job earning decent money and even all that time ago 10 years i remember losing hundreads on the FOBT and i even rang Gam care for adive all that time ago, i have only just realised this problem has always been with me, even if i have had the odd few months not betting the demon has always been waiting at the back of my brain.
Things only escalated about two years ago when i was earning decent money and almost didnt know what to do with it, i was a young man looking for a thrill and gambling always gave me that buzz, I had about £6000 in savings in 2012 i was ultimately saving for a house ect, i was still having my complusive bets in the week and at a weekend nothing substantial but any constant gambling is an addiction in my opinion.
Anyway from the year 2012 thats when i lost a chunk of that savings about £1000 to be specific and all i could ever think about was replenishing that savings account and as many of you know chasing your losses is the nail in the coffin. I spent the remainer of 2012 and the year 2013 until the end gambling that money and wages until all i was left with was about £1500.
It was December 2013 and from £1500 i deposited my first lot of money into an online vegas casino £500 i was playing the roulette for nearly 6hours with my free £200 bet which you had to wage something like 20,000 times or something and guess what... i won £8100, i could not believe it all my problems were solved i had recouped so much money, the next day i placed a bet of £200 on a football team to both teams to score and win and it won i was over £9000 up, then 2 weeks later i won £1200 on the irish lottery i was over £10,000 up.
I was litterally on cloud 9 buying expensive clothes and presents for family giving money to a few mates just genuinly enjoying life it was an amazing month however it was also my demise. The year 2014 i lost my job early January and instead of holding tight to my money i began gambling again, I even found a job the next month but the thrill of winning that money just spurred me on constanly looking for the next (Big Win) to boost me up again. Well as you can guess by September last year all my wages along with my savings/winnings were gone, lost to online gambling on roulette in the bookies and betting on over 2.5 goals accumalators oh and the irish lottery sometimes over £100 a week.
By December last year i was £4000 in debt and while on holiday with my girlfiiend i broke down and told her everything she was amazing and i got back on top of my debt and finances and had a path to folllow however i was still gambling on the lottery getting that little buzz and only having a tenner on a saturday almost like a drug addict, i had my debt down to £2500 last week but this easter weekend i relapsed and lost £1500. My problem has been i have never ever been able to accept my losses until now that is i have always been thinkings bout that win that brings back the good times however i know this is not realiity, i have been skinting myself every month to repay debt leaving myself with no money for the coming month which has lead to more gambling.
I have stopped now my girlfiend knows and has control of my finances i have rang gam care today and they have referred me for councelling. I am self excluded from all online gaming sites and need to self exclude from from the bookies also. I shall not be gambling on anything this time around i know i must go completely Gambling free. Its a long road to recovery from now i have managed to get a mortgage with my girlfriend and i know i must stop before i lose everything. I have missed out things because of gambling i have never had that spare money in the bank to book a random holiday or buy clothes go for a meal when i want its all been mostly dependants wether i had gambled it or not. I am sick of it controlling my mood and my happiness.ITS TIME FOR CHANGE!!! ITS TIME TO MOVE FORWARD!!! thanks for anyone taking their time to read this.
Cheers
Rob.
Well Done Rob on realising its time to stop. You are young enough to still make a big difference to your life as long as you stop gambling now. Your girlfriend sounds like a great support to you so do not let her down. Get yourself reading some diaries and keep posting and this will get you through the first few days. Welcome to the start of your new life.
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Hi rob firstly let me congratulate you on admitting your problem and seeking help,as the saying goes we can't win because we can't stop! It's tough to deal with any type of addiction but people do. I myself am in the early days since my last bet on the roulette but i feel a new found determination to conquer it once and for all. Your story is similar to thousands out there but just remember there's alot to be said for the quiet life 🙂 trust your missus to pay things and given time things will be sorted. Sadly there is no shortcut,there's no turning £20 into £10,000 for us. I find this site and the phonline helpful whenever i get the urge to nip into the bookies. Try things like going a different way home,give yourself a small reward for reaching certain milestones gamble free etc I wish you the very best in your recovery,onwards and upwards
Thank you for all your comments all very constructive. It's only my 3rd day of recovery and I I keep having the odd urge to gamble, just the thought of having that one last bet to try and win a little bit back. I won't be betting and I will fight the urges I am sure they will get easier!!
Hi Rob85,
You could join the 2015 Challenge on the Forum. it's helped keep me going. Please see this write up on urges that Phil posted on the Challenge a few weeks back:
Coping with urges
A difficult week for some is coming and I hope we all get through it without any urges. However if you are struggling have a read of this. I found it here, https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/urges
How to cope with urges.
For many individuals, the crucial problem is coping with urges. In order to cope well with them, it is usually necessary to understand them accurately, rather than in the distorted manner of many addicts. Some common distortions about urges are that urges are excruciating or unbearable, that they compel you to use or act, that they will drive you crazy if you do not use or act, and that they will not go away until you use or act. Some individuals are confused enough about their own thinking that they have a difficult time identifying distinct urges, and simply think of themselves as behaving a certain way "because I like to."
In actuality, urges can be uncomfortable but they are not unbearable unless you blow them out of proportion; they do not force you to do anything (there have probably been many instances where you had an urge but did not act), they have not driven you crazy yet (and will not), each urge will go away if you simply wait long enough, and there are periods between urges which become increasingly longer if you stop.
Although during the initial days or weeks of abstinence or moderation, especially after a long period of daily addictive behavior, you may experience many urges of strong and even increasing intensity. Recovering addicts of all types report that urges eventually peak in frequency, intensity, and duration, and then gradually, with occasional flare-ups, fade away. How long it will take for urges to peak, and how rapidly they will subside, depends on many factors, including the specific addiction, the length of the addiction, how successful the program of abstinence or moderation has been, and the strength of the developing alternative lifestyle. However, as a very broad guideline, within six months to one year most addicts will report only feeble urges (for instance, one a week, lasting a few minutes, a 1 or 2 on a 10 point scale).
It is also crucial not to take responsibility for the occurrence of the urge, but only your response to it. It is normal for any addict to experience urges, and just because on Sunday you decide to stop does not mean that on Monday you will not have urges. The fact that urges occur does not indicate that your motivation is weak, but that your addiction is strong. Because all habits have unconscious components, of which the urge is one, it will take time for these to die away. What is within your control, however, is how you respond to the urge. An analogy could be made to someone knocking at your front door. All sorts of individuals might knock at your door, but it is up to you to decide with whom you will talk. Their knocking is not your responsibility, but to what extent you choose to speak with them is.
Specific techniques for coping with urges include the following:.
When an urge occurs, accept it, but keep it at a distance. Experience it as you would a passing thought, one which "comes in one ear and out the other". Detach yourself from it, and observe and study it as an outside object for a moment. Then return your attention to what you were previously doing. If the urge is intense, remember (and perhaps picture) your benefits of stopping/cutting back (which can be carried in your wallet or purse). Recall a "moment of clarity", a moment when changing your addictive behavior seemed almost without question the right course of action. Think your addictive behavior through to the end:
Best Wishes
Hi rob,
It's crazy how my story relates to your so much. Everything you said is spot on and I couldn't agree more. I'm new to this forum, and the support and advice is unbelievable. My family and girlfriend don't understand at all. They just say why don't you stop, but people are forgetting this is an illness! If it was that easy to stop, I wouldn't have lost 30-40k in three years. I'm hoping this forum is going to save me and get me back on track. It's only my third day, and the urges are already kicking in. Those roulette boards are my downfall. They are lethal. Yet I can go Into the bookies and have £10 on the football a week and not be bothered if I lose. I look forward to the football of a weekend. I enjoy it. Like you should enjoy all gambling. But roulette takes me to a new level. It changes me as a person. Brings the demons out in my head that always wins and gives the wrong advice. I am going to continue to use my local bookies for my football bets because I know that is not my problem. And I'm not aloud on the roulette machines in there so that problem is solved. I'm self excluded off every site on my phone but I always end up finding a new one in usa or Malta lol. Can anyone recommend anything that helps fight off the urges? I can go two three weeks without bettjng but eventually the urge and demons just take over
Mr Stop that was some seriously good advice thank you. Andy you must stop the £10 on a Saturday you must not gamble in any shape or form. I can understand how having that tenner on a Saturday is sort of fun however the compulsive gamblers mind will always spiral into other things. I had a tenner the other week and nearly won 500 the fact I nearly won so much sent me on a downward spiral. I realise I can't gamble and it will never stay just fun. Your no different to Me stop before you relapse, spend that tenner on a few pints or something you enjoy.
Agree with Rob. You have to stop the football betting. As compulsive gamblers we shouldn't bet on anything. Why have a bet on the football? You say you have lost 30k in last 3 years. Whether this was on roulette, football, or tiddlywinks it doesn't matter.
A win will lead you back down the road to hurt.
Hi, 29 is a good age to stop, I'm in my forties so don't be like me, i just want to give you some hope. The urges will be back but you're putting blocks in place and that's great. At my age i'm no longer interested in designer labels, don't get me wrong my clothes are neat, new & fresh but i prefer to spend good money on what i put IN my body, good fresh food. Sounds like you love your partner but you must do this for yourself, my mum said i would always have to work for my money and so far she's right!
Well I felt like the football was harmless. But now you guys have put it in that context, in havjng second thoughts. Going to be hard This week as it's the grand national. Everyone bets grand national weekend. Ah dear. Do I have a go or not
no if you are serious about quitting gambling, ask yourself how often have you won ?
Fair point. But as we all know it's not that easy. Urges are trying to take over already. I don't know what to do
The urges should just be urges. If you have enough barriers in place and really want to stop then it will stay as an urge.
Who has control of your money?
If you really want to stop this then take it seriously and hand over ALL responsibility for money.
You mention the Grand National. So what? There is racing every day. I know it's grand national day but won't give it a second thought on Saturday. And the reason for this is that I hate what gambling has done to me and my loved ones. Hate it so much.
It's a mugs game. I suggest you go out Saturday afternoon and ignore any news, Internet, tv, radio. It's not hard.
Good luck
Changed my plans and now I'm going to get back into my old hobby of fishing. That should keep me busy. Gonna take your advice and I'm not even going to do the football this week either, the seasons coming to an end which means it should only get easier. Before I started gambling I knew it was a mugs game, 30k down the drains and I can still say it's a mugs game. Doesn't make it any easier to quit mate. Else no one would be here would they. I hate what it's done aswell but an addiction is an addiction. And places like this are made for support and help, someone I have had very limited amounts of. And finally I have found a group of people who are on my wave length and understand. What a godsend this forum is
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